Dear Sir/Madam
My congratulations to you on getting a yacht to leave the UK on 28th November 2004, sail 27,354 miles around the world and arrive back 72 days later.
Could you please let me know when the kitchen I ordered 96 f*****g days ago will be arriving from your warehouse 13 f*****g miles away?
You s***.
Yours Sincerely
John Roberts