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Thread: Are you paranoid?

  1. #17
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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saracen View Post
    To the idiots that keep sending me letters
    Thanks for the free stove fuel... !

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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ttaskmaster View Post
    Thanks for the free stove fuel... !
    All that burnt ink must do wonders for your air quality!!


    Those despicable Elk,stealing the pond weed!

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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by CAT-THE-FIFTH View Post
    All that burnt ink must do wonders for your air quality!!
    I'm an evil child-killer driving an old (not even a modern) diesel car, as well as being a peasant too poor to afford a house with gas... so what do I care!

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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ttaskmaster View Post
    Thanks for the free stove fuel... !
    Oh, sweet. Thsnks for the free wood/paper burning stove. When are you able to deliver?

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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by ik9000 View Post
    ....
    <lots of legal jargon later> ..... Bet you didn't even bother reading to get to this bit.... sucker!
    Don't know me very well, do they?


    Dear Sirs,

    Kindly take your finance and &£€**%×$ it where your #€^&!@ <CENSORED>


    Yours in anticipation (of watching the Youtube clip of you trying to do that)




    Mr Saracen Smallprint

  7. #22
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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saracen View Post
    Oh, sweet. Thsnks for the free wood/paper burning stove. When are you able to deliver?
    No, the letters they send are the fuel.

    I do have a free stove, incidentally, but it's internally broken and a Freecycle job, so you'd have to collect.

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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ttaskmaster View Post
    No, the letters they send are the fuel.

    I do have a free stove, incidentally, but it's internally broken and a Freecycle job, so you'd have to collect.
    Great answer. Classic. Made me laugh.

    But .... really? What're the odds that I make such an unpredictable comment and you actually happen to have one?

    Maybe I ought to buy a lottery ticket this week.

  9. #24
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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saracen View Post
    Don't know me very well, do they?


    Dear Sirs,

    Kindly take your finance and &£€**%×$ it where your #€^&!@ <CENSORED>


    Yours in anticipation (of watching the Youtube clip of you trying to do that)




    Mr Saracen Smallprint
    Thank you for responding to our mass-mail circular. Now that we know you exist we have circulated your details to our network of partners who will also enjoy sending you advertising and product updates for things you might be interested in.

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  11. #25
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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saracen View Post
    But .... really? What're the odds that I make such an unpredictable comment and you actually happen to have one?
    No idea, but it's an old Morsø Squirrel. Takes logs about 10" long, works fairly well in a properly kitted hearth. Just the internal concrete plate things have gone.
    It's sat in the garage as we ripped it out and put a simple grate in its place.

    Quote Originally Posted by Saracen View Post
    Maybe I ought to buy a lottery ticket this week.
    There's a newsagent up the road. Get your ticket there, on your way to pick up the stove...?

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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    I'm gonna regret that stove remark, aren't I?

    Now I can't invite myself round for dinner again without getting a free stove in the bargain.

    Curses.

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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by ik9000 View Post
    Thank you for responding to our mass-mail circular. Now that we know you exist we have circulated your details to our network of partners who will also enjoy sending you advertising and product updates for things you might be interested in.
    That's okay, Mr 9000.

    I used your address on the letter.

  14. #28
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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saracen View Post
    That's okay, Mr 9000. I used your address on the letter.
    And yet you got his response thanking you, to which you just responded, so it clearly still went to your address...

    Quote Originally Posted by Saracen View Post
    Now I can't invite myself round for dinner again without getting a free stove in the bargain.
    At this rate you'll be so stuffed you won't be able to move, and your car boot will be in a similar condition!!

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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Car? I can't fit it on my pushbike? I sold the car.



    <crosses fingers behind back>

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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ttaskmaster View Post
    And yet you got his response thanking you, to which you just responded, so it clearly still went to your address...

    ....
    No, I just regularly intercept Mr. 9000's mail. He clearly isn't yet paranoid (enough) so I'm working on an attitude adjustment. Just don't tell him or it'll ruin the surprise.

  17. #31
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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saracen View Post
    Car? I can't fit it on my pushbike? I sold the car.
    <crosses fingers behind back>
    I can make it fit.
    I can make anything fit - I have a welder...!!

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    Re: Are you paranoid?

    I hope that's not how you cook the beef.

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