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Thread: darwin awards

  1. #1
    Photographer; for hire!! shiato storm's Avatar
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    darwin awards

    Time for some more stupid people...does this happen anywhere other than USA cause it seems the majority [all] of them come from there....?
    anyway, read on and chuckle!


    The Darwin's are awarded every year to the persons who died in the most stupid manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.

    This year's nine nominees are:
    Nominee No. 1: [San JoseMercury News]:
    An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

    Nominee No. 2: [KalamazooGazette]:
    James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo,MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

    Nominee No. 3: [HickoryDaily Record]:
    Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

    Nominee No. 4: [UPI,Toronto]:
    Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of theToronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports.
    Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day, told theToronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

    Nominee No. 5: [Bloomberg News Service]:
    A terrible diet and a room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas emissions. There was no mark on his body, and an autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things).
    It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his nearly airtight bedroom.
    According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick, and one was hospitalized.

    Nominee No. 6: [The News of the Weird]:
    Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

    Nominee No. 7: [TheIndianapolisStar]:
    A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk,IN. A JayCounty man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

    Nominee No. 8: [Reuters,Mississauga,Ontario]:
    A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in thisToronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko,
    55, was standing on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.


    THE WINNER!!!: [ArkansasDemocrat Gazette]:
    Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.
    Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock were returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip on an overcast Sunday night when Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the.22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward theWhite RiverBridge.
    After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and striking a tree.Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.
    "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might both be dead," stated Wallis.
    "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.
    Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck?
    (Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole DID, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.)
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    Senior Member ajbrun's Avatar
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    Nominee No. 3: [HickoryDaily Record]:
    Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
    That's why you should never keep a gun by your bed .

  3. #3
    Bigger than Jesus Norky's Avatar
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    I'm sure a few of those were fake

  4. #4
    Xcelsion... In Disguise. Xaneden's Avatar
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    You obviously have a lot of belief in mankind then Norky.
    New Sig on the Way...

  5. #5
    Bigger than Jesus Norky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xcelsion
    You obviously have a lot of belief in mankind then Norky.
    I want to believe!

    I'm sure the one about the guy testing the window with his shoulder was fake though.

  6. #6
    Xcelsion... In Disguise. Xaneden's Avatar
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    Are you calling my dad a lier?!?!?
    New Sig on the Way...

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    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    I love the Darwins....I look forward to every version..real or otherwise. No1 rightly wins...was laughing my arse off reading about a bullet as a fuse in a truck

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
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    Xcelsion... In Disguise. Xaneden's Avatar
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    God Bless the Simpletons. May they kill themselves humourously forever more.
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  9. #9
    Blue Army Member spazman's Avatar
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    Most of these are myths, only a few actually have any proof that it actually took place. Although they still make for funny reading
    NES, SNES, N64, GameCube, Wii, GBA, DS, PSone, PS2, PSP, PS3 60gb, XBOX, XBOX 360, Master System, Game Gear, Mega Drive, Saturn, Dreamcast, PC Engine, Neo Geo CD

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    Xcelsion... In Disguise. Xaneden's Avatar
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    Amen.
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  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norky
    I'm sure a few of those were fake

    definitely

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