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Thread: Kickin' you whilst you're down

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    Senior Member Kezzer's Avatar
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    Kickin' you whilst you're down

    Not only was i mega stressed from the fact that my project was cut 1 week and 1 day early which means i have to have a project in by monday but i just found out this morning that my dad has been cheating on my mum and that he's moving away and selling our home. 25 and half years of marriage and what i thought was an incredible family down the drain. My mum is moving to england and so is my dad.

    Fortunately my flat mate has been here, i haven't been able to hold myself together.

    Talk about life kicking you whilst you're almost down. This is probably the worst day of my life. Hopefully i can get an extension, i think i have a bloody good reason

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    0iD
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    M*I*A 0iD's Avatar
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    Ah dude, total pisser My old man did that when I was 18. What can I say?
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    Administrator Moby-Dick's Avatar
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    It happens - I had one of those days yesterday - some for of toothmake didn't put me in the best of moods to start with - then we have major problems with a client and I kinda lost my rag a bit with my team which was very unprofessional ( its also pretty unlike me as I dont loose it as a rule )

    guys - if you are reading this I'm really sorry - beers are on me next time we're out
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    Senior Member Kezzer's Avatar
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    I'm such a state at the moment, i just couldn't move or think or do anything when i heard. I didn't know what to say to my mum, she couldn't speak she was in such a state. She's moving to england to stay with my bro and my dad is moving with his new b****. If i could list every single swear word aimed at my dad i would. He's just ruined our lives. My life with my friends back in Guernsey is gone, i now have no home there, no parents there either.

    Erk.

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    Kirstie Allsopp Theo's Avatar
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    I'm experiencing a similar situation with uni at the moment dude, and the parents thing - I've been there too.

    I'm currently filling in a "mitigating circumstances" form in an attempt to defer a module for medical reasons. However, I don't get to choose whether I defer or not - the college does. If they don't think my reasons are good enough, I fail the module anyway.

    Back to the parents thing, it's always a hard blow. My father commited adultery throughout my parent's marriage, and my mother dealed with it because she loved him. However, when I was 13 my father took it a step further by telling my mother, myself and my sister to leave because he wanted to move his new girlfriend in. Needless to say, this was the last straw for my mother and she's better off without him - though she's still attached in one way or another. They never divorced, or legally seperated because that would "hurt his feelings".

    All the best, dude. Put on some good music, good headphones, sit back and relax for as long as you can. I know that you're busy with work, but a time-out will do you good. If you've got a pair of wireless headphones and a decent hardcore collection - you could always do a few beatdowns in your room Anything to blow off that steam and release the aggression. Converge would do you well.

  6. #6
    Now with added sobriety Rave's Avatar
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    Don't hate your dad, it's honestly a waste of time and energy. Been there, done that. Really sorry about your home situation though....but don't fret, if your friendships are strong then your friends will make the effort to see you, let you sleep on their couch or whatever.

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    Senior Member Kezzer's Avatar
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    I hope so, Guernsey means everything to me.

    I just can't believe my dad. He took my mum to hawaii to renew their wedding vows on the beach on their 25th anniversary WHILST he was having an affair. That's the part that makes me angry, all the things he's said and done in the last year. It's all so fake.

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    'ave it. Skii's Avatar
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    Really sorry to hear that matey.

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    You have my sympathy. College/uni work is tough enough without then having life get you down as well. Best of wishes to you and your mum. And try not to hate your dad. Hate is a wasted emotion. Makes you feel worse than the person it's directed at.

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    www.5lab.co.uk
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    in all fairness, would you rather yer dad was honest, and happy, and left, or stayed in yer marrage with yer mum and was ultimately unhappy?
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    i'm really sorry to hear that, hope things get better. I think you will get an extension if you explain the situation.

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    Prize winning member. rajagra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rave
    Don't hate your dad, it's honestly a waste of time and energy.
    Wise words.

    It's a lousy thing to happen, and of course it feels awful. But it's best to put things in perspective as soon as you can. Nothing's gone down the drain. The marriage happened and lasted a good time, kids were born.

    And the family's alive and well, right?

    In the grand scheme of things, this is just a big change, it's not the end of the world. Part of life's rich tapestry, as they say.

    Sometimes a bad change can lead to good things, maybe your mum will be the next JK Rowling.

    I hope you don't think I'm trivialising the situation, it's just that the more positive and supportive you can be towards (both) your parents, the better things will be for you and them.

    For now, be hacked off and blow off some steam. But you can deal with this, it just takes time to adjust. Good luck.
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    Senior Member ajbrun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 5lab
    in all fairness, would you rather yer dad was honest, and happy, and left, or stayed in yer marrage with yer mum and was ultimately unhappy?
    I think he shouldn't have been seeing two people at the same time tbh.

    I feel sorry for you KeZZeR - I can only imagine what it's like .

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    Senior Member Kezzer's Avatar
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    Big thankyou for all the responses guys and gals, you don't realise how much it means to me at this point! The future holds a lot for me, for better or for worse, just hopefully with support from friends and family i can sort this all out !

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    Sorry to hear it. the hawaii thing is a bastard thing to do. I reckon it hurts less if they're honest from the start... then anger doesn't totally take over and perhaps you can sort it ouy.

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    Sorry to hear of your situation, hope things get better for you soon!!

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