Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 16 of 26

Thread: WTD : your mother jokes

  1. #1
    www.5lab.co.uk
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    6,406
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts

    WTD : your mother jokes

    making a pressie for a mate of mine, and i need as many 'your mother' jokes as possible (making him a calendar). if you've got one thats a bit too rude, pm it to me
    hughlunnon@yahoo.com | I have sigs turned off..

  2. #2
    Administrator Moby-Dick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    There's no place like ::1 (IPv6 version)
    Posts
    10,662
    Thanks
    53
    Thanked
    383 times in 313 posts
    yo momma so fat , if she has to haul ass , it takes two trips.
    yo momma so fat , when you cut her , she bleeds gravy

    two of my personal favs.

    http://members.lycos.co.uk/yomommajokes/

    for some more
    my Virtualisation Blog http://jfvi.co.uk Virtualisation Podcast http://vsoup.net

  3. #3
    Old boys club member
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Ware?
    Posts
    384
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    "I saw yo mamma kicking a can the other day, i said what you doin', she said, movin house.."


  4. #4
    Photographer; for hire!! shiato storm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    next door
    Posts
    6,977
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    6 times in 5 posts
    yo mamma's so fat when she eats at a restraunt she sits next to everyone
    "" " ...she has her own area code
    Powered by Marmite and Wet Dog
    Light Over Water Photography

  5. #5
    Registered+
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    43
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She's on BOTH sides of the family.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She jumped into the air once and got stuck.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she dances she makes the band skip

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her behind has its own congressman.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    All the restaurants In town have signs that say "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama".

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    They had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her nickname is "DAAAMN!!"

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She has to iron her pants on the driveway.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She could sell shade.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    People jog around her for exercise.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She gets runs in her jeans.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her blood type is Ragu.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    If she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it !

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She can't even jump to a conclusion.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She was walking down the street, I swerved to miss her, and ran out of gas.

  6. #6
    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    I'm a Jessie
    Posts
    34,344
    Thanks
    2,628
    Thanked
    2,703 times in 1,700 posts
    • Zak33's system
      • Storage:
      • Kingston HyperX SSD, Hitachi 1Tb
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Nvidia 1060
      • PSU:
      • Coolermaster 800w
      • Case:
      • Silverstone Fortress FT01
      • Operating System:
      • Win10
      • Internet:
      • Zen FTC uber speedy
    Logan....you rock

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

  7. #7
    Senior Member Tumble's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Right in the Pickle Barrel
    Posts
    7,210
    Thanks
    271
    Thanked
    311 times in 215 posts
    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    All the restaurants In town have signs that say "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama".

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her nickname is "DAAAMN!!"

    ^^ faves out of that lot

    Quote Originally Posted by The Quentos
    "My udder is growing. Quick pass me the parsely sauce." Said Oliver.

  8. #8
    Senior Members' Member Matt1eD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    London
    Posts
    2,462
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    • Matt1eD's system
      • Motherboard:
      • MSI K9N6SGM-V GeForce 6100
      • CPU:
      • Athlon 64 LE-1620 2.41GHz
      • Memory:
      • 2 GB DDR2
      • Storage:
      • 1.25 TB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Onboard
      • PSU:
      • eBuyer Extra Value 500W!
      • Operating System:
      • XP Pro
    I've heard some great ones in the past, pity I can't remember them.

    What ever happened to a good old: 'Your Mum'.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    W Yorkshire
    Posts
    5,668
    Thanks
    85
    Thanked
    13 times in 11 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Matt1eD
    I've heard some great ones in the past, pity I can't remember them.

    What ever happened to a good old: 'Your Mum'.
    African-American teenagers in the ghetto took over

  10. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Oxford, UK
    Posts
    72
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Logan 5
    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She's on BOTH sides of the family.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She jumped into the air once and got stuck.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she dances she makes the band skip

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her behind has its own congressman.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    All the restaurants In town have signs that say "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama".

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    They had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her nickname is "DAAAMN!!"

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She has to iron her pants on the driveway.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She could sell shade.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    People jog around her for exercise.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She gets runs in her jeans.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her blood type is Ragu.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    If she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it !

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    When she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She can't even jump to a conclusion.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.

    Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    She was walking down the street, I swerved to miss her, and ran out of gas.
    i thought i'd already posted here, i was pissing myslef reading some of those

  11. #11
    Spinal Pap Tomahawk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Bristol/Manchester Uni
    Posts
    1,002
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked
    13 times in 8 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Logan 5
    ....Yo Momma's SO Fat...
    Her blood type is Ragu.
    ....
    The one I heard and always remember as a good one is.

    Yo Momma's so FAT.. Her blood type is Cadbury's. !

    Nice list there Logan.. Covered a few I knew and loads more!



    [ iTomaHawk | My Music MySpace ]

  12. #12
    Large Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    3,720
    Thanks
    47
    Thanked
    99 times in 64 posts
    Yo Mommas so fat, if she wore high-heels she'd strike oil!
    To err is human. To really foul things up ... you need a computer.

  13. #13
    If your 5555... Swafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Then I'm...
    Posts
    6,666
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    Your moms so ugly

    Even a 13 year old chav wouldn't hit it
    Quote Originally Posted by Knoxville
    As I find big muff's to be a bit of an aquired taste
    AMD Athlon 4400X2 @ 2.565PenisextentionMhz
    Dual Layer, Gold Plated, LED Power,Dual Golden OMG IT MAKES MY CodPiece BIGGER 1-1-1-1 DDR62.3 @ 1222.3433Mhz
    5 X 400GB Porn Array
    X1800XT Dildo enchanged 3D Version, 512MegaLongJohn
    Oh, did I mention.....I like sheep.....


    WWW.MrsBurley.CO.UK
    now updated

  14. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    1,457
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Swafe
    Your moms so ugly

    Even a 13 year old chav wouldn't hit it
    Bet you would though swafe

  15. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Midlands
    Posts
    8,629
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked
    268 times in 188 posts
    Yo momma is so incalculably vast, she absorbs light.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Tumble's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Right in the Pickle Barrel
    Posts
    7,210
    Thanks
    271
    Thanked
    311 times in 215 posts
    think that's more of a nerdy version thar Vaul old boy...

    Quote Originally Posted by The Quentos
    "My udder is growing. Quick pass me the parsely sauce." Said Oliver.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Installing a mother board into a case ?
    By Ben_UK in forum PC Hardware and Components
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 19-10-2004, 11:50 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •