What is it with women, ornaments and plants?

[Nick]

I mean, come on... you spend absolutely ages stripping off 15 years worth from wallpaper and paint of the walls and woodwork, repaint all the cruddy holes covered over by the layers and layers... sand it all smooth, prime it, paint it and get it looking all neat a tidy.

You move the furniture back in and get everything neat and tidy in its place, CDs alphabetized, DVDs ordered in series runs from season 1 through to wherever, speakers all set up for the best possible surround sound given the room and practicality of use and everything just right.

Skip forward six months and you can't see the walls for pictures, the bookcase has more figurines, candles and vases than a gift shop and every other horizontal surface has a flower pot with something green growing in it.

I can't even draw the curtains without moving six plants as apparently "brushing the curtains past them is bad as they don't like being touched!"

Well blow me, I thought this was the lounge, not the indoor version of the Chelsea Flower Show mixed with Trinkets 'r' Us....

Gah!

[Stewart]

I know Nick, but you've got to put up with it mate, as they are so soft and squidgey, and keep you warm at night.

Rough with the smooth Nicky boy...

[headbrace]

I see that, and I raise you Pot Pourri. Dear god, why?

[Nick F]

Rough with the smooth

thats how it always be

[Stewart]

Fo' sho', homes.

You thought Nick would have got that by now, seeing as he is well into his middle age. I'm a thrusting young stallion of 24, and even I know that you have to put up with pointless things like cushions, food other than chips, bottled water (!), ornaments, small towels, shower caps, names for cars, ice packs and the like, in order to enjoy the up side, such as... well, sex. (And conversation, friendship, companionship, babies, love, sending each other cards, etc, for any ladies reading)

You might even have to suffer the indignity of her changing channels on YOUR tv with YOUR remote, whilst the NEWS is on so she can watch HOLLYOAKS.

Although that might be more than I can take.

[shiato storm]

...And conversation, friendship, companionship, babies, love, sending each other cards, etc...

good save, you forgot cuddly puppies and/or kittens... doh!

[Elmo]

*looks about.....glares in vaul's direction....looks at shiato......takes a deep breath*




Nah, i'm not even gunna bother I'm not one for ornaments personally, all my bookshelves have books on them, all my walls are completely clear apart from a mirror and 1 pretty card i was sent for my birthday that's above my dressing table. Admittedly i have a few photoframes with pics of my friends from school & uni, but not many. I have a string of fluff along one of the shelves on my desk too.................and my room is pink..............

but other than that you wouldnt know my room belonged to a girl

[shiato storm]

looks at shiato...

watch out there, girls that do that too often end up jealous.

...takes a deep breath

and after this often realise I've not had a shower yet after exercising (what, so I go shopping straight after smelly...by that stage its my stomach calling the shots not my brain!)
yummy!

[Nick]

1 pretty card i was sent for my birthday that's above my dressing table.

Oh it starts with one card... you think you can handle it and give up anytime you want and pretty soon its pictures all over the place and figurines of pigs in amusing poses or custie iccle teddy bears wearing waistcoats...

even I know that you have to put up with pointless things like cushions

NO!! Stop it right there... I let one cushion go by and before I knew it there were seven on the bed alone, not including the pillows we actual use to sleep on! Then in crept the cuddly toys and before I knew it she'd smothered the bed in cushions and stuffed animals...

Why? Why camoflage the bed? Is she afraid of someone barging into the house to ravage her? is she hiding the bed under fluffy things in the hope that her would-be ravager gives up and goes home as he can't find the mattress to fling her onto?

Making the bed used to be a two minute job od straightening out the duvet and fluffing up the pillows... now everything has to be arranged...

And woe betide you if the cushions aren't arranged at a nice forty five degree angle with one corner pointing upwards....

No doubt she'll wander into this thread in the morning and try and embarass me by saying some of the cuddly toys are mine... And she wouldn't be lying, but ask yourself this:
Does any sane man who, when asked what he wants for Valentines Day, actually say that what he'd really like is a small stuffed gorilla holding a heart with 'I love you' written on it?

And further, does any sane man, once in possesion of said gorilla, EVER throw it away if he ever wishes for a bit of nookie ever again?

I rest my case.

[megah0]

I have a stuffed toy gorilla.

Had him since I was 4.

Of all the possible stuffed toys a man can own gorillas are the best imo.

The missus has lost count of how many stuffed toys she has, some are in the loft in large plastic boxes, not bags as her mother insists "they will suffocate in bags".

The prosecution rests m'lud

[Rave]

Y'know what though....I don't actually believe that women are born to clutter up houses with decorative crap, I reckon it's corporate brainwashing. Through a combination of browbeating the Mrs and general poverty I've managed to keep our flat pretty free of extraneous stuff. It's absolutely packed to the gunwhales with books, CDs, DVDs/Vids etc. etc. though <---and a fair share of it is hers before anyone jumps on me.

[Stewart]

Through a combination of browbeating the Mrs and general poverty I've managed to keep our flat pretty free of extraneous stuff.

Ahh, domestic violence and poverty. Brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?

[RedPutty]

What Rave said ^^
Thank god my mrs isnt one of the clutter brigade even though she does love some stereotypical women stuff like shopping and last weekend we went away for one night and she took two different handbags (wtf?)

p.s plants are cool and they LIKE being touched.

[Knoxville]

plants are cool and they LIKE being touched.

But not There you should never touch a plant There.

It is amazing just how quickly women go into what I and David Attenborough like to call the nesting phase, I didn't think my (now ex) g/f was that bad but by the time we broke up she'd managed to amass 2 carrier bags worth of stuff in my room and thats not including the cds that somehow crept in.......

[poolking]

I take it you've had a bad couple of days?

[Raz316]

gotta love the mugs you arent allowed to use and the bowl of glass pebble things too!