Feeling down.... :(

[Proplus]

Sorry if this is going to bore some of you, but I needed to get a few things off my chest and maybe hear some advice/encouragement about my love life.


I've recently started seeing this wonderful girl, she makes me smile and my heart goes all soft every time I think of her. We've known each other for nearly 3 years, of which I was in a semi-long relationship, which I ended in the last few weeks. During these years, I've seen this girl suffer a hell of a lot on all fronts, with emotions, relationships, finance, family and friends. And I have always known that I had a very special place in her heart, it was only a matter of when I'd make a move for her.

Well, as luck would have it, her dreams came true in the end, as I started to grow very fond of her. The times we spend together are amazing, we would be so happy that there would be a constant smile on our faces. She needs a man to help tie her down, help her with her paperwork and be there for her o take care of her, and to be honest, I pretty much fit the bill on all criteria.

Now here's the problem. She can blow so hot and then so cold all of a sudden. I know she has started to love me, but is afraid to say it, so in that sense I know she is extra tolerant with me. But things lately are starting to bite at me.

From her wonderful brother (not), she has managed to be in debt to the sum of around £60,000, of which, regrettably, some of it are to loan sharks, who make regular visits for payments. I want to help and not see her suffer, but she doesn't want to get me involved. Take this weekend for example, I can't even find her, as she's probably running around trying to get the necessary funds available. She asks me to give her some time and not to worry, but how can I not worry about her? I guess one things for sure though, at least I know she's not selling her body for the money.

Thanks for reading, I don't even know why I wrote this....

[Funkstar]

I don't have any advice really i'm afraid, not very good at that sort of thing.

But i hope it all works out good for you two.

It's good you've got it out of your head though, i know that can help a lot

[Kezzer]

Why are you feeling down? Surely she's feeling a million times worse?

[Ramedge]

hes feeling down because shes feeling down..... its love
surly theres ways of avoiding these load sharks? like a £60,000 mortage - then just start paying that pack.
assuming shes a home owner.

[0iD]

If it's what you want you've just got to ride out the storm mate. If she doesn't want you to get involved then you have to respect that, but just let her know, (as I'm sure you have), that you're there for her, whatever happens. Stick with it big guy Some things are indeed worth fighting for.
On the loan shark front, a trip down to the Citizens Advice Beuro might be a usefull call.

[unreal]

LOL Pyle with the bruteness there


Well matey hope you (and the lady) feel better soon, I've been in a bit of a bum situation too but you just have to buckle down and deal with it any way possible.

[shelley bda]

Oh Bugger! not good, that's a lot of debt to be in where's the Brother then? and why did she get herself in all that debt because of him? ( you don't have to answer that, just something for you to think about ) just wondering if you can't see the woods for the tree's so to speak, if it was me i'd be asking all sorts of qusetions, hope it all works out anyway

And a for me mateypie Pyle, don't let 'em get to ya hon, we birds are fickle creatures

[KBeee]

OK
Grow up
Stop feeling you're special - you're NOT
Get with the program - you're Tonies Voter and can't get away

[scotty6435]

That's ****ty. Real ****ty. I've just been put on anti-depression for very long term stress so I can kinda see where she's coming from. Best of luck to you, I really mean it.

[RedPutty]

Please get her to visit a branch of the citizens advice bureaux( http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/win.../getadvice.htm ), she needs some sound advice as to where she stands with these financial worries.

As for love, the CAB cant help you there

[Elmo]

have to say i'm with pyle on this one. You come across as being very sure of yourself and up ur own arse (can i say that? lol). If she wants you, baby, she'll tell you. Get a bloody grip of reality, women werent put on the planet to be "looked after" by you. Not EVERY woman who's nice to you wants you. Most will probably only feel sorry for you.

I'm sorry she's having problems, but if she says she doesnt want your help, then she doesnt want your help. If she does, she'll ask for it.

Christ there really are some total ****s in this world.


P.S

i'm in a fab mood, i'm not in PMT, i dont need to know you and no i dont want to be "looked after" - CHEERS!

[unreal]

I'm on both sides with this, hes very sure of himself but at the same time he is only trying to show he cares.

I might have misread this, but she appears to be in a far worse situation than you? And then you left her? Er wtf? Thats not what a fella should do

[Xaneden]

Being in debt is obviously not a great experience for anyone who goes through it, and I sympathise with anyone who is. However, as far as your involvement with this person is involved; you do come across as somewhat... how shall I put it.... pretentiously assuming?

[vincent]

according to some research i found a couple of weeks back in the free NW Metro newspaper- Women do tend to go hot and cold due to the fact that they want a difference in personality every month....the reasosn is their hormoens change frequently eveyr month with different chemicals to different turn ons....

I.E.- 1 month she might want a macho man,the next month a sweet and sensitive man

All i say is ... If she cannot give the loan gimps the money she'll let u know, because keeping secrets in a relationship sparks no trust
Also- i woudl keep a clsoe eye on her as well for her safety as well bud

& theres no need to apoligise botu this topic cos u wanted it 2 get it off your chest and u have

"The most easiest way to avoid goin into debt is simple if you havent got enough money-you cant get it" and the other one is "there's a huge difference between wanted a product and needin a product "

[Twigman]

have some proplus...lol

[smtkr]

Here is some generic advice that will surely make me really popular here:

Consider which types of obligations you will have getting involved with this one. She has a lot of baggage. I would be very surprised if this relationship doesn't drive you to a rubber room.

Don't ever tie yourself down with a woman...ever. Think about all of that nice freedom you have right now. You can pick up and leave your job/country/whatever and do whatever you want. The potential for that makes me happier than anything else on earth. I'm not saying to become celebate, just not to get involved emotionally, as you already have.

Selfish? Yes, but I've never met anyone more satisfied with life than I am.