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Soooo, Brown finally gets the top job after a decade skulking in the shadow of Blair, he gets in, and there is the first run on a bank since the Mesoproterozoic eon. Not the misers fault though, eh? So long as he runs a tight ship from then on.
Then its snap election time... until the Tory's have a half decent conference and some rag prints a poll where Labour are behind, and suddenly it was all a big misunderstanding. There isn't going to be an election at all, never was. Nowt to do with the polls of course.
Brown might as well have claimed that he was going to hold a general election but David Cameron said 'election, election, no infection' before he could touch him. So no more of that Brown the bottler stuff.
After that humiliation, Labour fully restore public confidence by announcing that a disc with the details of 25 million people has gone **** knows where, largely because the chimp charged with sending the disc couldn't be arsed to stick a few quid on it for registered post.
Cue that strange man with a white head and evil black eyebrows, who now pretends he is the Chancellor telling everyone what a state everything is in.
S'ok though, the international Jewish lizard Mafia organisations will be foiled by the 21st century cutting edge protection on the disc - it has a password. So the New World Order wont be draining all of our bank accounts just yet.
This calamity is immediately followed by a party funding scandal, which could lead to Brown being the 2nd PM in history to be question by the rozzers. The other one was Blair, it goes without saying.
Why doesn't this incompetent, snidey, psychologically flawed, low rent Stalin impersonator take his one good eye back to some hovel in Scotland and live out the rest of his days as a cave hermit. Perhaps Alex Salmond can charge the Scots 2 groats a time to watch him being forced to fight a drunken Gordon Kennedy naked in a pit, each armed with a sharpened animal bone. Get some use out of him.
And some of you lot voted for this.
David Cameron might be a bit fake, yes, but could he do any worse? Any worse than this man, a cyclops who looks like he's had a minor stroke, who has stumbled from one disaster to another?
We should thank our lucky stars Blair has spent the last 10 years keeping him locked away with his calculator and his posters of uncle Joe, while he was busy stoping Saddam killing us all with his invisible, laser-guided fusions bombs, or by now we'd all be in the work house, after the plan to use Cherie Blair's mouth as a nuclear shelter failed. Or the ants would have taken over.
If you voted Labour last time, do the decent thing and kill yourself. Quietly in a corner somewhere. And make sure you leave a written note of apology.
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Originally Posted by Blitzen
