Acceptable ages for sexual relationships?

Not too sure on how this thread will be recieved, but it's a legitimate question and i'm not really looking for responses on the politics of the age of consent.

For anyone over 20, i'd have thought that nobody would really say anything about any age difference, however when you're 16 and 17... although legal there are still girls a year or two younger that are "your age group" and plenty mature enough to be having sex.

What is the oldest guy that somebody of 15 could go with before it becomes plain wrong?

(I'm 17, before people start checking to see how late in my fourties i am...)

All of the women I've been out with bar one has been a year or two younger than me (I'm twenty for the record) and I've found them all to be immature or emotionally clingy and very much in need of validation. While they may be amture enough to agree to consentual sex in my mind at least none of them have been mature enough enough to take part in an adult relationship.

In answer to your question "What is the oldest guy that somebody of 15 could go with before it becomes plain wrong?" it depends what you mean by go with but morally for me if the guy they're seeing is anything much over 17 its plain wrong. I've ended up going with a 15 year old at a local club once before, it was a couple of years back now I was a bit drunk and didn't think much of how young she looked as you had to be 18 to get into the place. Her friend gave the game away about an hour after I hooked up with her though by running over to her shouting "its after twelve happy birthday" when I asked how old she was it turned out she was just turning 16, there was literally only a few hours in it but it still felt a bit wrong tbh.

Well I was 15 when I broke the chain but I was in a long term relationship with the girl, she was so sweet, and its something we both agreed upon, rather than the pervy guy consistently bothering until he gets his way. I had to break up with her a year later though due to her house significantly effecting my health. (Her parents were pet freaks, and her mum had a cat home thing where she looked after about 20 cats - I'm severely allergic to animals, so even when I gave her a quick hug in school, or she came to my house, I flared up. Imagine when she sits around my room, on my bed etc, and then at night when shes gone home I sit there with an allergic reaction while trying to sleep)

I think this will always be a question that will raise a lot of debate, and possibly never get a 100% agreed answer for. Depends largely on the maturity of the people (phycologically, rather than phyiscally) and the intentions to take the relationship further.

I have teenage daughters so I'm biased :)

25 is a good age I think ;)

I think that alot of the problem is that quite often people who believe themselves to be "mature" (as though it is a final state of being, as opposed to a progression throughout life) are often not as capable of dealing with difficulties as they think.
I remember vividly at 11 believing myself to be very mature because I was at senior school, but later that year when I got into a fight I cried my eyes out.

Clearly people who go through puberty can become physically ready to have sex (ie ready to have babies), but does that mean that a girl of 15 can deal with what happens if she becomes pregnant? And then if she has to drop out of school and give up plans of university? Or what about the boy who is believes this is true love, only to be dumped because he was crap in bed?
It's not that people can't deal with it at all, but the more emotionally mature you are the better you can deal with it. I guess that's why its a good thing to have boyfriends / girlfriends way before you sleep with someone so that you understand a bit more about the nature and fragility of relationships.

I think in summary there is no definite answer to when a given individual is ready, because we all need life experience to cope with problems (and sex is more riddled with them than most situations) but equally you gain experience through living life.
Just remember the law. You're not going to feel too happy even if a social worker makes enquiries about underage sex / rape (and rape can be defined far broader than you may imagine).

Mostly agree with MSIC there, well done that man! To further prove the man's theory, I present exhibit A: The teen who cries on the internet when the "love of their life" dumps them for someone better looking. While seemingly the evidence proves nothing, and is completely irrelevant in regard to the topic of the thread, emotional maturity and the mental side of sexual maturity are one and the same, in my opinion.

Call me harsh, but people who cannot stand the heat should take their sausage out of the kitchen. (And vice versa)

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Originally Posted by unreal

Well I was 15 when I broke the chain but I was in a long term relationship with the girl, she was so sweet, and its something we both agreed upon, rather than the pervy guy consistently bothering until he gets his way. I had to break up with her a year later though due to her house significantly effecting my health. (Her parents were pet freaks, and her mum had a cat home thing where she looked after about 20 cats - I'm severely allergic to animals, so even when I gave her a quick hug in school, or she came to my house, I flared up. Imagine when she sits around my room, on my bed etc, and then at night when shes gone home I sit there with an allergic reaction while trying to sleep)

I think this will always be a question that will raise a lot of debate, and possibly never get a 100% agreed answer for. Depends largely on the maturity of the people (phycologically, rather than phyiscally) and the intentions to take the relationship further.

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Gwan Keith loosing it at 15 hehe. Hey man you never told me that was the reason you broke up with her

A friend of mine knows someone who was in his twenties and was going out with a girl who was 16. They wanted to have sex but by law he needed written consent fromthe parents fo the girl. And he got it! THere must have a been a few ackward moment before and after that!

I dont know what he did with the consent letter now, but if it was me I would frame it and hang it somewhere!

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Originally Posted by Kebab

A friend of mine knows someone who was in his twenties and was going out with a girl who was 16. They wanted to have sex but by law he needed written consent fromthe parents fo the girl. And he got it! THere must have a been a few ackward moment before and after that!

I dont know what he did with the consent letter now, but if it was me I would frame it and hang it somewhere!

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dun mind me, but thats just plain silly... If I had a daughter, no man will ever EVER get my written consent to have sex with her. If he puts his paws on my daughter, I have my trusty Rover to run him over before sending him to court..

lmao nice one sawyen, in this one i have to tottally agree with sawyen.... having a baby whether by purpose or accident will totally knock off 18 years off your life away, no college, no high end job... cleaning nappies and feeding is what ull be doing :(

I'd be more worried about disease than pregnancy

Having a baby young isn't so bad, had my first born when i was 19 didn't stop me going to college, i have a very good career now, my son is 12 years old, i'm not even going to be 40 by the time he's grown up :)

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Originally Posted by j.o.s.h.1408

Gwan Keith loosing it at 15 hehe. Hey man you never told me that was the reason you broke up with her

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Well yeah as well as other minor things, but she always beat herself up about the 'damage' she caused to me so I wasn't going to say it was because of that, she would have been devestated.

Kids are to eager to grow up these days. In my day it was football and games consoles til at 16, enjoying a laugh with your mates was more important. Nowadays it's relationships at 14?!? they seem to think they know it when really they dont know jack squat.

Although ultimately it's one experiences that shape their maturity, outlook etc 18 onwards is a good time to start thinking in them terms serious of relationships.

Several girls i know/knew from/at school where involved with guys 4 or 5 years older (this is when we were about 15), and tbh, i didnt really think twice about it then, but now, theyd kind of be a candidate for getting plenty of abuse. That said, the only one im still in touch with is still with the same guy and theyre due to get married in september, so it cant be all that bad.

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Originally Posted by sawyen

I have my trusty Rover to run him over before sending him to court..

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Hey may escape your clutches while you get your jump leads out.

I think what he really wants to know is if it's wrong for a 22year old guy to have sex with a 15 year old schoolgirl.

Heh, excuse me for sounding old fashioned and all but i was brought up on no sex before marriage, oh the joys of a christian upbringing, anyway, thats not my belief anymore. Having said that I think being in a stable relationship with someone is a good idea before having sex with them, i don't mean to offend anyone by saying this but i don't think people are mature enough to have a meaningful relationship until they are 18+ but then again there's always the exception that proves the rule. Besides i think there is way too much pressure in our society to have sex, i'm 21 and i still haven't, but why should i feel bad or even embarassed to admit that. When i meet the right person i'll have sex with them because i love them not because i'm desperate to get laid.

P.s. for anyone that knows me, what i said above is all lies ;)

There are some parents who just REALLY want a grandkid and would allow their kid to do IT, in order to 'make' one.

Might apply more to those with too much time on their hands such as those retired. Anyone care to elaborate?

15, with a 14year old girl who was not only far more mature, but far less stable, than I.

It destroyed my faith in people for quite some time, and generally ****ed me up.

Still would probably do the same in the same situation :)

Whats really messed up is when you get a 22year old with a 15year old. Thats just plain wrong, the thing is, the 15 year old in question justified it so well, she was also proud and braging about it too, of course that ment i had paper work to do :(

The point is people are able to justify things with lines such as "she's more mature than most".... when really the question isn't about sex under age, its sex the first time underage or not that seams to have intresting side effects, upshot, just make sure its someone you can stand, ie, been going out for a hell of a lot more than 2 weeks.

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Originally Posted by kasavien

Heh, excuse me for sounding old fashioned and all but i was brought up on no sex before marriage, oh the joys of a christian upbringing, anyway, thats not my belief anymore. Having said that I think being in a stable relationship with someone is a good idea before having sex with them, i don't mean to offend anyone by saying this but i don't think people are mature enough to have a meaningful relationship until they are 18+ but then again there's always the exception that proves the rule. Besides i think there is way too much pressure in our society to have sex, i'm 21 and i still haven't, but why should i feel bad or even embarassed to admit that. When i meet the right person i'll have sex with them because i love them not because i'm desperate to get laid.

P.s. for anyone that knows me, what i said above is all lies ;)

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Amen to that... 20 this year... still rockin the V's for the same reason.

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Originally Posted by kasavien

i'm 21 and i still haven't, but why should i feel bad or even embarassed to admit that. When i meet the right person i'll have sex with them because i love them not because i'm desperate to get laid.

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Admirable. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22; I had several chances when I was 17/18 in the sixth form, but decided that I should hold out. In the end all the girls I was waiting for didn't wait for me and when I did finally lose my virginity it was just about as sordid as anybody else's first time. Ah well, 20/20 hindsight is all very well. I'm pretty well adjusted now so I can't complain:).

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Originally Posted by mmh

Amen to that... 20 this year... still rockin the V's for the same reason.

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You've got issues dude, theres nothing morally upstanding about your v-plates :p

respect for kasavien/mmh/, i would open up too but people on here do actually see me daily, so cant :). But yeh, was 18, but 8 months into relationship. 20 now, single for 2 years and havent since...
Cant really see the point tbh unless u really really like someone, its more effort than its worth if its with someone random or someon u half know. Would rather hold out, again

As an unwritten rule, it seems that anyone that's half your age + 7 years is pretty much acceptable.

so if ur 20 then 17 is ok. God my maths is awesome!

I say, whenever YOU feel ready is the right time, simple as. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing it, and make sure it's the right boy/girl/thing.

And as for all these, I was 21 before I lost the V-Plates with the girl I'm still with now (I'm 24, she's 26, been going out Since I was 19), and tbh, If I'd have based our relationship on the first time I'd have dumped her then...

i thinkif u like that person then whynot, just no sexual contact til they're 16

perhaps im being bias im 20, my gf is 15 and ive had many people say to me wtf are u playing at. i wasnt sure about getting involved with her at 1st due to the age gap and difference in life style but somebody said to me,
"mate do u like her" n i was like yeah, which the response being then go for it mate, feelings are feelings in my opinion,

i know that i genuinely love my gf and its not just some schoolgirl fetish, everything has to be taken at their pace which can be a lil annoyin but im not goin to try force her into anything. it has to be about when shes ready (and old enough)

if anyone has a problem with the age difference they simply get ignored, its about us not them :) her parents are cool with me, and trust me which is a bonus though her brother does seem to want to kill me

but fook it, im in love i dont care :D

yer there are lots of downsides to the age gap which really get me down sometimes but u take the good with the bad i guess :)

What they wont realise till they are older, is that what they think is love.. isnt. When I was younger I thought I was in love a few times.. boy was I wrong. Im now married (3 yrs in july).. 4YR Old daughter, and im only 22.

But oh man, if anyone tries to touch my daughter before shes 18, they better make sure they can get a quick ride to the hospital. Surveillance baby! and its only gonna get better. GPS, audio bugs, cams so tiny you wouldnt see them even if you were looking. Lets hope shes gonna be trustworthy or im gonna be out quite a bit of cash and prolly looking at some prison time for GBH. But all in all, well worth it. Family comes first.

So as for the age question.. if it was my daughter at 15? well you better start running. :)

11 ftw ;)

JimmyBoy your sig deserves a thread of its own how it makes me larrrrfff...

Some of you seem to be taking this whole first time lark too seriously. At the end of the day it's sex and sex is a bit of a lark. Why the hell it has to be perfect with the perfect person +1 I dunno, it's the first time and a learning process. It gets better the more you have so go get some ASAP slow coach. You are never are going to stay with the same person forever so just get someone, have sex, say WOW! I like that and go bang some other ladies (not girls) anything over 24, they are more fun and diiirteh!

I like ur style BrandX :P

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Originally Posted by BrandX

JimmyBoy your sig deserves a thread of its own how it makes me larrrrfff...

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im sure i'll live :)

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Originally Posted by JimmyBoy

im sure i'll live :)

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Depends on wether I survive a roundhouse kick to my head tbh.

i just like BrandX's idea

A perfect person, then another person too.

that would be a memorable first time.