partner etc.

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24-04-2006, 02:24 PM
0iD

World Cup Rules for wife/girl/partner etc.

Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in
general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...

List Of Rules.

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,
Men of the World
24-04-2006, 02:33 PM
Jonny

I think my gf is more likely to watch it than I am! I hate football, with a passion. I'd rather chew off my own legs than watch a full game.
24-04-2006, 02:53 PM
iMc

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny

I think my gf is more likely to watch it than I am! I hate football, with a passion. I'd rather chew off my own legs than watch a full game.

Football is good! But I would rather watch you chew off your legs than watch a game. :) :p
24-04-2006, 03:24 PM
Steve A

Well i watch all the group games here ... then im off to Mexico on the 22nd so i will watch them at the Pool bar in the 30 Degree heat with my corona ... think about you all (Not), im good anyway as she watches footy too so i will have it sorted .. but i feel sorry for the chaps who have the thumb print on the back of there head ..

:)

Oh and OiD you are a diamond ..

LOLOLOL
24-04-2006, 03:38 PM
Russ

i may watch some....

i may even be sick off work for a month and watch every second :|
24-04-2006, 03:51 PM
Mike Fishcake

Sorry, what's this 'World Cup' thing I've heard people talking about?
24-04-2006, 04:03 PM
Howard

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike Fishcake

Sorry, what's this 'World Cup' thing I've heard people talking about?

I was wondering the same thing ;)

I shan't be giving it a second thought really
24-04-2006, 04:18 PM
Hans Voralberg

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute

Any1 mind explain to me how you watch a game in that state ?
24-04-2006, 04:25 PM
Flibb

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hans Voralberg

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute

Any1 mind explain to me how you watch a game in that state ?

Quietly
24-04-2006, 07:24 PM
Steven W

My sister booked her wedding over a year ago, and then there was a big panic when they realised it was the 10th June - England vs Paraguay.

So, she's now changed it to the 3rd, otherwise people won't come.
24-04-2006, 08:42 PM
Workaholic

Ha, great thread...

Wonder why there's nothing about going to the pub later or during the games for a larger TV screen?
25-04-2006, 04:39 AM
pr0p4g4nd4

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny

I think my gf is more likely to watch it than I am! I hate football, with a passion. I'd rather chew off my own legs than watch a full game.

Yes! Thank you, I'm like the only male bar one that I know who detests it as much as I!
25-04-2006, 12:18 PM
Mike Fishcake

Quote:

Originally Posted by pr0p4g4nd4

Yes! Thank you, I'm like the only male bar one that I know who detests it as much as I!

There are plenty of us, we're just silenced by the media hype and masculine expectations :)

We've had to move our comedy club nights forward from tuesdays to mondays whilst the world cup is on, otherwise we don't get enough punters. Booo.
25-04-2006, 02:21 PM
99Flake

I don't mind football (rugby and F1 are far better) and am not adverse to watching the odd game during the world cup. However what I detest is the way that for four weeks it takes over like some kind of virus. I mean does it really matter that much? Not really, it IS only a game and it would be nice if it wasn't forced into everyone's face every ten seconds. It is bad enough normally with the amount of coverage fottball has, but it just gets plain ridiculous. There are other sports out there afterall.
25-04-2006, 02:57 PM
Stewart

Please, please, please, please, please stop moaning about the wall-to-wall coverage the World Cup is going to get. It gets that sort of coverage because it is the biggest sporting event in the world, a large majority of the men, women and children who can will be watching Englands games with interest, and the TV audience for the final will exceed 1 billion.

This is not going to change because you say 'Does it really matter that much?'

I'm sure Cash In The Attic will be on the other channel, for those of us who can't appriciate sport to enjoy, while everyone else watches the football. Use the time to get some shelves put up. Get down the shops while the England game is on and enjoy the empty iles. Mow the lawn.

Take advantage. Just don't whinge and moan. The World Cup is the biggest sporting event on the planet, its going to take over TV, Radio, Newspapers, and everywhere else.

If you can't beat us, join us. If you really don't want to join us - shush. :)
25-04-2006, 02:59 PM
Stewart

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike Fishcake

We've had to move our comedy club nights forward from tuesdays to mondays whilst the world cup is on, otherwise we don't get enough punters.

No mate, you're in luck!

FIFA have just released a statement saying that due to a clash with Mike Fishcakes comedy club nights, the World Cup has been cancelled! So all is well after all.

Also, Woolworths have a 50% discount on a sense of perspective at the moment. Why not get one? :D
25-04-2006, 03:01 PM
Howard

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stewart

Please, please, please, please, please stop moaning about the wall-to-wall coverage the World Cup is going to get. It gets that sort of coverage because it is the biggest sporting event in the world, a large majority of the men, women and children who can will be watching Englands games with interest, and the TV audience for the final will exceed 1 billion.

This is not going to change because you say 'Does it really matter that much?'

I'm sure Cash In The Attic will be on the other channel, for those of us who can't appriciate sport to enjoy, while everyone else watches the football. Use the time to get some shelves put up. Get down the shops while the England game is on and enjoy the empty iles. Mow the lawn.

Take advantage. Just don't whinge and moan. The World Cup is the biggest sporting event on the planet, its going to take over TV, Radio, Newspapers, and everywhere else.

If you can't beat us, join us. If you really don't want to join us - shush. :)

It shouldn't be EVERYWHERE though. It should be easily accessible for those who WANT to watch it. But not forced upon those of us who don't. They shouldn't reschedule every TV program just because of it.
25-04-2006, 03:04 PM
Stewart

You've got Sky like the rest of us. 1943 channels. As I said, I'm sure there's a cracking episode of Homes Under the Hammer you could watch.

Let me know how it works out.
25-04-2006, 03:05 PM
Howard

I don't have Sky. I have NTL and I don't have the full package, so it's only about 1643 channels. I'll watch what I want to watch. I shouldn't have to change this as per the rescheduling thanks to the football.
25-04-2006, 03:15 PM
Stewart

:D

Ah well, I tried.
25-04-2006, 03:18 PM
johnny02004976

ive booked off most of my holiday allowance for the world cup :mrgreen: people can complain about it as much as they want but im completely ammune to it, once it starts im in my own little world. Got a nice beer stash growing as well :lol:

Any of you guys on hexus.active have any ideas for a diet afterwards
25-04-2006, 03:18 PM
Lee H

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard

It shouldn't be EVERYWHERE though. It should be easily accessible for those who WANT to watch it. But not forced upon those of us who don't. They shouldn't reschedule every TV program just because of it.

Oh please... Once every 4 years the world cup happens it's not as if it's every year is it?

The channels have to reschedule shows and things like that as they want to gain as many viewers as possible.

Now what's the best for a channel like ITV - Show England vs <insert team> and get above 11 million viewers and make a nice profit on the adverts during the half-time break, or resort to showing shows like "murder she wrote" and get about 4 million viewers.
25-04-2006, 03:23 PM
JK Ferret

It's easy to find something else to do - most people have their 'toys' (other than the TV and remote!)(and car) eg, playstation, xbox, some other console (how about a mega drive? Go lemmings!), the internet...

So you'll maybe miss a couple of programmes. Big deal. Life's too short to worry about the small things. I'd happily go without the TV for however long the world cup is on. Unless there was some hilariously funny comedy programme on that i desperately wanted to watch.

Football is the worlds favourite sport (im guessing), so it's not that surprising that people are gonna want to watch it.

Anyway, it'll all be over soon (yeah yeah, rule 12), and everything'll be back to normal. Till next time.

Anyhow, why did a light hearted thread turn into a war? The world needs more comedic wisdom.
25-04-2006, 03:26 PM
Stewart

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnny02004976

ive booked off most of my holiday allowance for the world cup :mrgreen:

Go on my son. My cousins booked time off as well.

As for Murder She Wrote... I prefer a nice bit of Rolf Watches Animals Die or whatever its called. And have you seen what delights ITV4 have lined up? Saved By The Bell: The Plain Girl Years, Dick Francies Sketches His Favorite Yorkshire Chimneys, and a double bill of... well, the Bill.

Quality! You none football watches have nothing to worry about! :woowoo:

Quote:

The world needs more comedic wisdom.

Indeed. The world needs another Bill Hicks.
25-04-2006, 03:28 PM
99Flake

Actually the problem is that it isn't once every 4 years. The world cup is but in between that we have the euro cup as well. That causes just as much fuss in this country and gets the same coverage.

As I said I am not adverse to watching the odd game, in fact I quite enjoy nipping to the pub for a few pints and watching it. All I am saying is that we should not be saturated with it as is the case. It is not just the re-scheduling, but the fact that every where you look you cannot escape it bugs me. It is every shop window, every pub, even Wetherspoons now! Everyone is trying to make a quick buck out of it and there is no escape bar locking yourself away for the entirity of the four weeks and not ever turning on the radio or TV. If it was anyother sport people would be up in arms. Not even the 2003 rugby world cup got the same coverage until it looked like England were heading somewhere.
25-04-2006, 03:34 PM
Lee H

I can't see us lasting that long in the tournament in all honesty anyway ;)

Quarter-finals at a push really before England gets knocked out and all those dreaming of us winning return back to work slightly disheartened.
25-04-2006, 03:36 PM
kempez

I'll be in some Bar in Greece forcing the missus to watch Engerland play :p

The n I've got the other week off too :D
25-04-2006, 04:23 PM
RoGuE|SaBeR

T'will be a very good 4 weeks :)

Plus we have the Champions League and FA Cup Final to help the build up!
25-04-2006, 04:36 PM
shelley bda

I'm looking forward to all the fantastic footy ads they bring out :D

Give me footy over cricket and snooker anyday ( progs get rescheduled for that and no one complains )

Better still! give me more Superbikes ( roll on July, we'll be at Oulton park ) or Moto Gp mmmmm :D
25-04-2006, 05:08 PM
iranu

I never understand why people bitch and moan about the WC and it's coverage. I think it's sad that people are so absorbed with the TV that they have to watch it all the time and therefore complain when the biggest most watched sporting event is on once every 4 years. These are the same people that complain when the snooker is on or the Olympics. Instead of moaning why not pick a small underdog team and support them.

Personally I can't wait, there's going to be loads of talent to watch and England have got a good chance to win it (although we won't)
26-04-2006, 12:23 AM
Mike Fishcake

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stewart

Woolworths have a 50% discount on a sense of perspective at the moment. Why not get one? :D

I would, but they moved them to make room for all the world cup merchandise :P
09-06-2006, 06:14 AM
Goat Goalie

Women's Response To World Cup Rules

Subject: World Cup Rules

The time has come to lay down the law.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to husbands, boyfriends fathers, sons, etc. (to all men in general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...
List Of Rules.

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
If I am recording a game while watching another, do not discuss anything you heard and read before I have a chance to see it. In fact don't even know anything, because I will read it in your face and then you are dead.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. In fact there may be both TVs in the same room on at the same time. Do not touch!!!

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, forget it. Those guys in their tight shorts behind you are much much better to look at.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, don't expect me to do laundry, prepare meals, answer the phone or clean ....it wont happen.

5. DO NOT touch the Chablis or Margarita mix in the refrigerator. Please do not make any funny noises when I have my soccer girl pals over to watch the games. Do not expect to partake in the potlucks we have during these sessions. It would be risky time for you to say the wrong thing. As well, you can expect at lease 3 slumber parties, during which I expect you to eat out and stay at a friend's place. During any marathon TV sessions with a room full of women, it is probably best for your own safety to stay away, to avoid the flags, bangers, shrieks and your temptation to make a foolish remark about our appearance or the game.

6. Please, please, please!! if you hear me screaming don't pat me on the head and say its OK. It is not OK or I wouldn't be screaming

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use this one game as an excuse to earn points.

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times. If you don't understand offsides, than don't wonder why I need to rewind the tape multiple times to review the call.

9. Tell your friends NOT to plan on doing anything to at this house. Absolutely NO distractions, belches, questions about how to do the laundry, cook or change diapers are allowed. You are permitted to mow the lawn after the Championship Game.

10. Be prepared for me to leave in a flash if a friend invites me over to watch a game. You are welcome to come along as long as you refer to the game as football and not complain about how boring and low scoring it is. Sometimes arrangements are made for the men to have a separate room to themselves.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,

Women Who Truly Understand the Beautiful Game
09-06-2006, 03:35 PM
midzt

wtf was the point of that?
09-06-2006, 04:13 PM
FatalSaviour

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard

I was wondering the same thing ;)

I shan't be giving it a second thought really

Apparently, it's like Pro Evo, but with some different HIDs.
09-06-2006, 05:13 PM
GDVS

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stewart

Indeed. The world needs another Bill Hicks.

That would be Dennis Leary then.

At least half his act was appropriated from Bill Hicks :)
09-06-2006, 05:14 PM
GDVS

Quote:

Originally Posted by FatalSaviour

Apparently, it's like Pro Evo, but with some different HIDs.

Lower resolution though.