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Thread: How's your English?

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    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    How's your English?

    This alwaya makes me smile....proves I'm getting old

    I take it you already know
    Of TOUGH and BOUGH and COUGH and DOUGH?
    Others may stumble, but not you,
    On HICCOUGH, THOROUGH, LOUGH and THROUGH?
    Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
    To learn of less familiar traps?
    Beware of HEARD, a dreadful word
    That looks like BEARD and sounds like BIRD,
    And DEAD: it's said like BED, not BEAD-
    For goodness sake don't call it DEED!
    Watch out for MEAT and GREAT and THREAT
    (They rhyme with SUITE and STRAIGHT and DEBT).
    A MOTH is not a moth in MOTHER,
    Nor BOTH in BOTHER, BROTH in BROTHER,
    And HERE is not a match for THERE
    Nor DEAR and FEAR for BEAR and PEAR;
    And then there's DOSE and ROSE and LOSE-
    Just look them up - and GOOSE and CHOOSE,
    And CORK and WORK and CARD and WARD,
    And FONT and FRONT and WORD and SWORD,
    And DO and GO and THWART and CART-
    Come, come, I've hardly made a start!
    A dreadful language? Man alive!
    I'd mastered it when I was five!


    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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    I don't get it so..

    Quote Originally Posted by Zak33
    ...proves I'm getting old
    is obviously correct

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    Blimey, I had to read that carefully, made me too

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    Drop it like it's hot Howard's Avatar
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    If the plural of mouse is mice, why isn't the plural of house, hice?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Howard
    If the plural of mouse is mice, why isn't the plural of house, hice?
    Because then certain classes of people from the shandy drinking areas on the country wouldn't be able to tell the singular from the plural

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    Flat cap, Whippets, Cave. Clunk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Howard
    If the plural of mouse is mice, why isn't the plural of house, hice?

    it is in my world
    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzen View Post
    stupid betond belief.
    You owe it to yourself to click here really.

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    HEXUS.social member Allen's Avatar
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    How's my Engrish?


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    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=XA04]I don't get it so..



    is obviously correct [/QUOTE

    you being serious matey?

    It's pure class.....pure.

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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    Almost in control. autopilot's Avatar
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    Zac, you are a legend. One of my favorite pub topics.

    The English language is crazy, but it’s a bastardized language cobbled together from French, Saxon and a zillion other cobbled together languages.

    For example, how can two words that are pronounced differently, and mean different things, be spelt the same? I.e. ‘Lead’

    But just look at what the dumb yanks have gone and done with it. It was obviously too hard for them, I mean, ‘Color’? And WTF is ‘Burglarized’?

    Another thing, ask an American to say “Memo”. They say it like ‘Me Mo’. But then ask them to say “Memory” and they pronounce it correctly. Yet they come from the same family of words. What’s that all about?

    Then get them to say 'data' and promptly slap them.

    And how many kids are growing up thinking the letter ‘Z’ is and acceptable way of pluralizing a word?

    XA04, you obviously to just to young

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    We have not even mentioned to,too and two all sounding the same but grammatically vertically challenging for those who do not know.

    Remember once my 24 year old sister was having her spelling corrected by my 8 year old daughter, no its "shopping" not how you pronounce it with your accent "shoppin"

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    HEXUS.social member Allen's Avatar
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    Many people still struggle with basic things like the difference between "your" and "you're", but then again most people are too lazy or stupid and just type "ur".

    Another common one is "there", "their" and "they're". The amount of adults I see still getting that one wrong is amazing!

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    Sublime HEXUS.net
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    Mind you, most of the European languages are just as bad in their own way.. I mean, how the heck can you have a male book and a female beach or table?!?
    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

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    Mike Fishcake
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    Allen - I love that site, it's great

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    Make me feel sorry for anyone trying to learn English.

    Having said that, the way it is leaves so much scope for humour in word-plays etc. !

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    . bledd's Avatar
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    and there's the ignorant UK population thinking everyone who can't speak english is stupid, the language itself is stupid and contradicts itself all the time!

    at least with say german and french, they follow set patterns 90% of the time!

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    Big Ginge
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    The one which gets to me the most is incorrect usage of its and it's.
    Last edited by Dfhaii; 24-05-2006 at 06:56 PM.

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