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hey,
how do i get my mom to let my b/f sleep in my bed with me?
shes kinda traditional so i need to get around her some how. its my party at my dads on fri night and he's gonna drop me off at my house with my b/f. she thinks he should go home but i want him to stay. so how do i get her to say yes?
any help would be very much appricated
cathrine
Thats a tough one. Only way i can think of is to let her get to know your bf a little better so she trusts him like you do, although i dont know how serious u r with ur bf in the long term status of things.
'87? Jees.. you're what? 16? God im an old fart at 20 already.
Sorry when you are living under your mothers roof, its her rules. I know it might seem harsh, but you've got to understand it from her point of view too.
Its difficult for us to advise not knowing what your mum is like, I would have just asked straight out, and although my mum was traditional, i think the opinion of knowing where I was - was a better situation that not knowing,
I'd say for yourself being female that for your mum this would be even more important?.
TiG
ask if he can sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag, then sneak him into bed for some lurrvin. sharing a single bed aint all its cracked up to be anyways..
hmmm. does she know you have slept together (if you have) That can help if you have told her and she understands. If she knows and is pee'd off then there really isnt much you can do.
It would help alot if she knew him and got to trust him.
at the end of the day it is her rules.
The way I see it and my mom did with my Ex is that she knew we were doing it so she may as well make it easier so we dont rush it and and not use protection. she knew if we felt comfortable and we could do it with out any worries we would be safer and always use protection cos we would be prepaired.
She should get to know him though and tell her that you are sleeping with each other.
It helps if they arnt to old and if you have been going out for some time. as you are 16 if he is older than 17 ( i know that isnt much ) she will be weary. Thats just the way mothers are im afraid.I got on really really well with my ex's parents which really helped and they were both strongly christian. I was a year older and when her mom found out she was a little upset but accepted it and was really cool about it. Infact i miss her family more than her now. oh well.
Hope that helps and isnt to much ramble
:)
edit : oh yeah. sharing a single bed is great. specialy in the winter. all nice n close and warm. It is the greatest thing ever. waking up and the first thing you see is your partener. specially if they have been watching you
Just ask her:
"Well what were you like when you were 16 mum?"
Unless she's been a good-little girl all her life she wouldn't have a leg to stand on :) Works sometimes on mine anyway ;)
Get married!
Seriously though... discussing it with her like an adult would (imo) be the best approach. However, that could possibly lead to the classic "while you're under my roof" line, unfortunately. Only a parent incapable of understanding that you're an adult, and that you're in an adult relationship would use that line. So stay calm, and don't scream at her until she tries to ban you from seeing him completely :)
I can see both sides. I can still remember what it was like to be in that situation & as a father of four daugters. (Eldest being 11 so way to go yet).
I would say that trust and familiarity count for a lot. Parents have to realise that you're going to do it anyway, so why not in a safe environment. Just keep the noise down eh ;)
Until you are 18 i'd say go by your mum's rules... If you want to go behind her back and sleep with your boyfriend without your mums knowledge then fine, but as you are only 16, if she doesnt want you to sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend then do what she says.... unless you can get round her somehow.
Ben
If you're in that much of a hurry, then go do it. My parents didn't want it happening under their roof, and i respected that - christ it would feel wierd anyway :S
I'm with Skii......I wouldn't WANNA be in the same house for the first time with MY new partner, with MY MUM next door....
can't think of anything less romantic/erotic ......eeuuurrghhh
so bin that idea.....wait
From the other side....imagine your younger bro or sister was "at it" next door to you ........how would YOU feel? its not a great feeling :(
Well it would be 1000 times worse for a Mother to know her kid was in the sack with a fella less than 10 feet away (or whatever..you get me)
So...her house, her rules.....etc etc. but its more an issue of RESPECT :) to HER ...
i'm 19, my mum knows i've slept with all my bfs, and she's known them pretty well, they've all stayed over at some point, but i've never been allowed to even sleep in the same room as them, not even my best mate (who's gay) was allowed to sleep in the same room. My mum has the "not under my roof" rule, and i've had the whole "dont you trust me" argument with her, but failed, miserably. Best thing to do imo, is accept ur mum's rules, it *is* her house, so her rules apply and she'll respect you more for not arguing with her.
It's difficult knowing ur bf is in the room next to you and you cant go in and huggle him, but that's just the way life is i'm afraid. It sucks at times. But dont let it get you down :)
You could always assure her that sleeping is all you're gonna do... If she trusts you not to have sex then she may well agree.
You might have to wait till your 18 and officially an 'adult'. My mum let my g/f stay over loads until then but it allways had to be seperate rooms. The second I hit 18 she said she didn't mind anymore......not sure I understand why but mum's can be like that sometimes.
If I was you I'd make him sleep in a different room and make sure nothing happens. I know this sounds boring but your mum will realise nothing's happening then start to trust you more so it will work out better in the long run. Then I'd just wait till she's out the house in the day for those activities.
Hell yea, that would be wierd. Like the first time you realised your parents actually had sex to have you and your bro' n sis' (if u have any). :eek:Quote:
Originally posted by Skii
If you're in that much of a hurry, then go do it. My parents didn't want it happening under their roof, and i respected that - christ it would feel wierd anyway :S
Youd end up like Michael Jackson who's brother slept with his gf whilst in the same room as him (aparently).
Id agree with the rest - Mums house, mums rules.
Mummys rules im afraid :-(.... ive been with tumble awhile now and he still sleeps in the spare bed if we ever stay over (i live in halls luckily) plus its the weridest feeling ever, I know i wouldnt be able to relax and I dont think he could either.
sweet talk her, make her some tea and buy her a present* ;) works for me when i want something
*only buy her a present if the first 2 don't work