Kids today. Or lack of.

[mallett]

and 99ers, you used to get a lump of ice cream as big as your fist, now it only seems to be a dribble...

[Parm]

I'd say it's definately down to bad parenting.

I lived in Grimsby for about a year and on my way to work one day I was walking past a woman with a young kid and the kid called me a Paki (I'm brown skinned, born in England myself, parents born in Punjab, India).
I was pretty shocked to say the least but what shocked me even more was that the woman, probably the kids mom, just laughed.

I didn't say anything but I just felt so sorry for the kid. Being taught that way from the beginning is not going to do him any good.

[subucni]

Computers and console can be attributed to it too if you ask me, and the way that society in general governs that because billy up the road has a playstation, joe should have one too, and likewise for the rest of the world. When i was a kid, my street used to be full of kids running around playing harmless playground games and football in nearby fields etc.. But now i don't see any kids about, i can only assume that computer games must play a big part in the reason for this. It's like they've not had the chance to learn how to enjoy themselves outside in a group without getting into trouble. So when they are forced to hang around with their friends in the street (because let's face it, at that age you can have a large group of friends, and no parent is going to want that many kids in their house) they can't think of anything better to do than get in trouble. You can't just say it's because it's a big group of kids. I used to hang around with a group of a good 20+ kids in a shopping centre, we'd use that as a meeting place and either end up there all night, or we'd disappear off and build some mountian bike trails, go for a ride in the woods, allsorts. The point being that we not once found the need to get on anyones nerves and no one complained about us.

Anyway, my point is, computer games are evil! Right i'm off to play some CS:S

Bres

[0iD]

would never have happened in my day

but yeah, at ten I started smoking, had sex @13, carried knives, was in trouble with the police on an almost daily basis. Was banned from the playground at my primary school for months on end sometimes and had to spend it in the library. Which actually suited me just fine
I was a little ****e.

I half expect one of my daughters to punish me for my sins one day so my parents can say, "see what you put us thro".

[fuddam]

all the kids of today need a clip around the ear and then some

did no harm to my generation, or those before

there MUST be consequences to actions - most kids are too molly coddled by the state, whereas they need real discipline.

yes, bad parenting, and a nanny state telling parents what they can and cannot do

not good.

[Bazzlad]

Agreed. I got hit when I did wrong, (not often or for no reason though) and it didn't affect me, and I plan to disipline my own kids in the same way.

[Mike Fishcake]

all the kids of today need a clip around the ear and then some

did no harm to my generation, or those before

there MUST be consequences to actions - most kids are too molly coddled by the state, whereas they need real discipline.

yes, bad parenting, and a nanny state telling parents what they can and cannot do

not good.

Meh... just because something 'didn't do you any harm' doesn't mean it's the right thing to do... I mean, I've been hit in the nads by a tennis ball a couple of times. Didn't do me any harm, but not an experience I feel was particularly keen on repeating

I agree with the fact that a lot of children need proper discipline, but it is possible to discipline children properly without hitting them, you just have to put more effort into doing it. Yes, I could hit my son to discipline him, but I completely disagree with that.

However, because my wife and I have made sure that we've put a proper amount of effort into non-physically disciplining him when he does wrong and praising him when he does stuff right, he's developed a good sense of morals and is far, far better behaved than several of the s**tty little brats that he has the misfortune to share a school with, who do get physically punished.

Saying that, some of my friends do physically discipline their kids, and although I don't agree with that, I don't get into a debate about it with them, because we're just talking about slapped wrists rather than getting an anger-fuelled thrashing. If you do choose to hit your kids, I'm not judging you, I'm not being righteous, it's up to you. As long as you don't beat them to within an inch of their lives, 'sup to you really

I've seen some non-smacked kids behave like brats and I've also seen some act like angels. Likewise for smacked kids. It shouldn't be what you do to discipline your kids that counts, it should be how you do it. It's not the lack of physical discipline that's causing the problem, it's the lack of discipline in general.

What I would say is that if you* are of the opinion that you don't want to smack your kids, then you've got to have the balls to make sure you put the effort into properly disciplining them, otherwise they WILL turn into spoilt little barstewards. You can't say "oh no, we're not going to hit our children because we don't agree with it" and just not do anything. That's lazy parenting and if you can't be arsed to bring your kids up properly, then you've got no reason to complain when they treat you like scum.

* I use 'you' at parents in general, not aimed at any individual(s) taking part in this thread, BTW

[Bazzlad]

All I know is I watch Super Nanny, see 5 year olds calling mommy a bitch and think "My Mom would have killed me." And the "naughty step" don't make me laugh. Replacing slightly physical punishment with psychological punishments. Amounts to the same thing in my opinion. If someone doesn't want to hit their kids, that's their progotive, but what right has anyone got to tell me not to hit mine?

There's a big difference between a slap on the bum, which stings and a beating.

[Moby-Dick]

If adults treated kids with more respect

Respect is earnt , not granted automatically

[fuddam]

yep, if giving your kids a hiding, should not be done out of anger. Also, should be a punishment, not vindictive.

gotta be careful, as could be a slippery slope......

There's a book called DARE TO DISCIPLINE, by James Dobson. Very good. About necessity of imposing discipline, but done with love. Otherwise the kids just rebel / resent it etc.

Fact is, kids WANT to know their boundaries and go off the rails when none are imposed.

[Mike Fishcake]

All I know is I watch Super Nanny, see 5 year olds calling mommy a bitch and think "My Mom would have killed me."

Same here. But Supernanny is the exception really, not the rule. There's something inherently wrong with people that want to go on reality TV shows in the first place

And the "naughty step" don't make me laugh.

Worked for us. Worked for a lot of other people I know. Thing is, it takes effort and perseverance, and it's not a magical cure like some people would want it to be. It has to be used with a lot of other punishments. Kids are constantly testing their boundaries, so if you stamp on it straight away they soon learn.

If someone doesn't want to hit their kids, that's their progotive, but what right has anyone got to tell me not to hit mine?

No matter what you do, no matter how you bring up your kids, there will always be someone there telling you you're doing it wrong. Everyone has a different way of bringing their kids up. If I had to give any advice on anyone on how to bring kids up, I'd say ignore all the advice, and do it how you think is best

There's a big difference between a slap on the bum, which stings and a beating.

Totally agree. It's a massive difference. There's a world of difference between a short, small slap intended to shock and furiously beating a child. I've heard several advocates of physical punishment say that it's completely wrong to hit a child in anger, but unfortunately there are some people that see both as exactly the same thing.

That reminds me... where did I put my Tazer...

[chicken]

Respect is earnt , not granted automatically

You have to have a certain level of respect for anyone you don't know, then they can go up or down from there. If you don't start relationships with people by granting them some respect then don't be surprised when they don't show you any.

[Kezzer]

I think there's a lot more to it than bad parenting - the area the kids grow up in for example as well as the school they attend and their peers. It all adds up really. Communities nowadays are far too large which is where the real problem lies.

Of course the parents are also to blame, I know a hell of a lot of bad parents who just don't really care about their kids future whatsoever. It's a shame really, the only thing we can do is move somewhere quiet where there isn't this kind of thing.