Ladies and Gentle men of HEXUS , I propose a new bit of red tape that might actualyl be of some use to people. Not only will it enrich the lives of the majority of the country , it might help stem the raise of so-called "rage based" attacks.
The Trolley Licence
If you are too small to steer a fully laden trolley , consider going shopping more often or pehpas take advantage of the delivery services offered by many major supermarkerts. You have no excuse for attempting to steer something not far off the weight of a super tanker , laden down with tins of value beans for your 19 children - 6 of which are hanging off the side of said trolly like illegal immigrants on an HGV. If you can't slow it down effectivly , dont push it so fast.
If I want a roadblock , I'll annoy some french farmers. Please learn to rest your trolley so as minimise any obstructions in the isle. Any use of trolley to block of my yellow label session will be moved. You've not paid for the food yet. Its not yours. The same goes for horizonal trolleys causing some form of wire gridlock while you talk to that women you keep on bumping into in the dole queue. You are the ones to say "excuse me" , not me.
When you turn round , you do not need to turn your trolly round with you. Its big enoiguh and grown up enoguh to manage on its own for just a few seconds while you head back for somethign , rather than executing a sweep , mid isle , knocking items flying.
Take a look at a ruler. See how straight the line is ? this is the sort ouf coruse you should attempt to plot. Apparently random changes of direction without looking are not freindly acts. I may be force to use the french bread I'm carrying in an equally unfriendly manor.
Please learn to count. a '1' next to an '0' means 'Ten' , not ten different brands or "5 items , but I've just got to get somethign for our Roy's tea , its friday to day so I'll have to get him some fish". I dont give a monkey's what you or Roy for that matter like - personally I like lager on fridays , but I dont feel the need to share it.
If you are confused by technology , dont attempt to use a self service till. Ever.
Dont do it for me , do it for the children. Learn some supermarket ettiquette.
Please.