Originally Posted by
Nick
Bloody hell, the forums are full of a bunch of metro-sexuals!
Listen, you're not a real bloke unless you have just three pairs of shoes (a pair of trainers, some old shoes/trainers for DIY and a pair of smart shoes that you never wear cos they hurt your feet)
You have 10 t-shirts MAX and three of those must be old tour shirts, preferably with paint spatters and rips/tears.
You should have three pairs of jeans. One old pair for painting, one pair you wear and one other pair that you bought before trying on, are too small but you just can't be bothered to take back and it's a crime to throw away something you've never worn, isn't it?
You have 6 shirts, if you wear a whistle to work each day, if not, you have 2 shirts. One is a plain white shirt with slightly worn collar that sees the light of day only for weddings and funerals (the occasion being recognised by your choice of either a black tie or that flowery one your mum bought). The other is a short sleeved 'fashion' shirt that looks awful on you and you only have it because your other half said it looked nice.
You have one suit, which is AT LEAST five years old and is now slightly too small. Not too small to make you buy a new suit but small enough to look odd.
You have one pair of smart trousers, one of those ones with the clip and a button to do them up at the top... but the button has long since gone.
You have one belt, in brown leather, which looks fine with the jeans but the huge Jack Daniels buckle looks slightly out of place with the suit but hides the missing button nicely on the smart trousers.
You have LOADS of pair of sock and boxers/y-fronts/briefs... ALL of which are on their way to being cloth versions of a colander.
You have three jumpers. One was bought for you and you wear only when you have to go somewhere a bit smarter and it's cold. You have one that you really like but then accidentally painted the lounge door in, so now it's a 'DIY jumper' and it resides with the jumper you SHOULD'VE been wearing when you painted the lounge door.
And THAT, gentlemen, is a proper man's wardrobe!
Oh I forgot. Even though they might be branded with anything from Babycham to Sanitary Towels, ALL your t-shirts are promotional freebies... after all, it's a crime to throw away anything not worn, eh?