Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 16 of 20

Thread: Would you tell?

  1. #1
    Senior Member kickstart 1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    1,037
    Thanks
    73
    Thanked
    26 times in 18 posts

    Would you tell?

    If you found out that your friend (male/female)was having an affair , would you tell their other half? What would you do about it ? and how would you go about it ?

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Midlands
    Posts
    8,629
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked
    268 times in 188 posts
    Depends. If I found out one of my mates was seeing another bird, obviously I'd not say anything.

    If a female friend of mine was being cheated on and I thought she might get hurt, I might approach the subject.

    Tricky one though, you are playing with fire.

  3. #3
    Spanked Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    1,430
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked
    26 times in 23 posts
    it really depends on the relationship you have with the other half, how long they've been together, are they serious - though in the end it's almost a no win situation, you tell they get hurt, you don't tell and they find out you knew, they get hurt.

    Sometimes people have affairs and realise their mistake. But thats up to themselves to confess I think.

    There's no black and white answer but in the end, I'd do my best not to poke around in other people's affairs - some people are actually happier not knowing.

  4. #4
    Stealth Geek Digerati's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Hertfordshire, UK
    Posts
    500
    Thanks
    10
    Thanked
    8 times in 7 posts
    • Digerati's system
      • CPU:
      • i5
      • Memory:
      • 8GB DDR3
      • Storage:
      • 500Gb
      • Graphics card(s):
      • MSI 5800 HD
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 7
      • Monitor(s):
      • 27"
    This has happened to me in the past and both times were so awkward as I was friends with both of them.

    I wouldn't go behind a mates back to tell their other half that they are being cheated on but I would say to my mate "look fella, this is wrong. If you have problems in the relationship then talk to your girlfriend about. If there are still issues then its an obvious time to end it".

    But I'd leave it up to them to make the decision and sort their relationship rather then doing it for them.

    But then on the other hand I'd want to be told if my other half was cheating on me... So that doesn't really make much sense.
    Last edited by Digerati; 06-12-2006 at 05:14 PM.

  5. #5
    Senior Member chrestomanci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Reading
    Posts
    1,614
    Thanks
    94
    Thanked
    96 times in 80 posts
    • chrestomanci's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Asus AMD AM4 Ryzen PRIME B350M
      • CPU:
      • AMD Ryzen 1600 @ stock clocks
      • Memory:
      • 16Gb DDR4 2666MHz
      • Storage:
      • 250Gb Samsung 960 Evo M.2 + 3Tb Western Digital Red
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Basic AMD GPU (OSS linux drivers)
      • PSU:
      • Novatech 500W
      • Case:
      • Silverstone Sugo SG02
      • Operating System:
      • Linux - Latest Xubuntu
      • Monitor(s):
      • BenQ 24" LCD (Thanks: DDY)
      • Internet:
      • Zen FTTC
    Is this just a hypothetical question, or do you know about a friend who is cheating/being cheated on?

    Is the cheating a one off or an on-going thing? I think most people whould prefer not to know that their other half had a one night stand with someone last year.

    On the otherhand if it is an ongoing thing you have more of a problem. Is the cheater likely to stop if let them know that they have been found out?
    Last edited by chrestomanci; 06-12-2006 at 05:56 PM. Reason: clarify punctuation

  6. #6
    Senior Member kickstart 1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    1,037
    Thanks
    73
    Thanked
    26 times in 18 posts
    We are talking friends of over 30 yrs here, and although i wont get inbetween them, i have said to the "one" sort out your problems first , then either move on or stop .Just wondered what other folk would have done in same situation.

  7. #7
    Has all the piri-piri! GeorgeTuk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Surrey, UK
    Posts
    1,058
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    7 times in 2 posts
    I think its best to stay away, if the adulterer is a friend of yours just let him know you don't really approve or like it. These things are best sorted out between the two people involved, quite often the messenger will be shot! (OK not literally but you know what i mean).

    Stealth Geek - And Proud!

  8. #8
    HEXUS.Metal Knoxville's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Down In A Hole
    Posts
    9,388
    Thanks
    484
    Thanked
    442 times in 255 posts
    • Knoxville's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Intel X58
      • CPU:
      • Intel i7 920
      • Memory:
      • 2GB DDR3
      • Storage:
      • 1TB
      • Graphics card(s):
      • ATi HD3450
      • PSU:
      • Generic
      • Case:
      • Cheap and nasty
      • Operating System:
      • Vista 64
      • Monitor(s):
      • 24" LG LCD
      • Internet:
      • Virgin Media 20mb
    Well it really does depend alot on the relationship not only between them but between you and them but as a general rule when I've been in a situation like that I've confronted the person cheating first.

  9. #9
    ALT0153™ Rob_B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    6,087
    Thanks
    345
    Thanked
    699 times in 483 posts
    Anonymous note/text/call, works a treat! They shouldn't be cheating in the first place!

  10. #10
    Senior Member kickstart 1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    1,037
    Thanks
    73
    Thanked
    26 times in 18 posts
    Just out of interest ..and nothing to do with this subject , is it possible to send an anonymous txt ?.Or are you talking just changing a sim card to do it ?

  11. #11
    WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MadduckUK's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Lytham St. Annes
    Posts
    17,297
    Thanks
    653
    Thanked
    1,580 times in 1,006 posts
    • MadduckUK's system
      • Motherboard:
      • MSI B450M Mortar
      • CPU:
      • AMD Ryzen 5 3600
      • Memory:
      • 32GB 3200 DDR4
      • Storage:
      • 1x480GB SSD, 1x 2TB Hybrid, 1x 3TB Rust Spinner
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Radeon 5700XT
      • PSU:
      • Corsair TX750w
      • Case:
      • Phanteks Enthoo Evolv mATX
      • Operating System:
      • Windows 10 x64
      • Monitor(s):
      • Samsung SJ55W, DELL S2409W
      • Internet:
      • Plusnet 80
    decision = made
    Quote Originally Posted by Ephesians
    Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit
    Vodka

  12. #12
    Senior Member chrestomanci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Reading
    Posts
    1,614
    Thanks
    94
    Thanked
    96 times in 80 posts
    • chrestomanci's system
      • Motherboard:
      • Asus AMD AM4 Ryzen PRIME B350M
      • CPU:
      • AMD Ryzen 1600 @ stock clocks
      • Memory:
      • 16Gb DDR4 2666MHz
      • Storage:
      • 250Gb Samsung 960 Evo M.2 + 3Tb Western Digital Red
      • Graphics card(s):
      • Basic AMD GPU (OSS linux drivers)
      • PSU:
      • Novatech 500W
      • Case:
      • Silverstone Sugo SG02
      • Operating System:
      • Linux - Latest Xubuntu
      • Monitor(s):
      • BenQ 24" LCD (Thanks: DDY)
      • Internet:
      • Zen FTTC
    Skype, yahoo etc will let you send texts, and you can probably put the from address as anything you like. Or register a new account under a screen name your recipent won't know.

    Alternatively just borrow a mobile from a college at work and tell them not to answer if your cheater calls back.

  13. #13
    ALT0153™ Rob_B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    6,087
    Thanks
    345
    Thanked
    699 times in 483 posts
    buy a cheap sim from ebay, use the free credit (voda still give £1 yeah?) & bin when you've had your fun!

  14. #14
    HEXUS.gaming Steven W's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    6,592
    Thanks
    245
    Thanked
    59 times in 50 posts
    ooh, it's like an episode of Hollyoaks.

    It's none of my business I wouldn't say anything, but maybe I might frame them in some sort of unscrupulous way.

  15. #15
    Mike Fishcake
    Guest
    Hang on there... I think the anonymous thing is very creepy and dosen't really do anything to fix the situation.

    They need someone whose opinion that they respect to convince them that what they're doing is wrong - not some message from an unknown person who for all they know could be a potential psycho stalker. It could be seen as threatening behaviour and actually make the cheater less open to talking about it properly. If you're going to confront them about it, do it to their face.

    Like a few other people have said, it's not always a clear cut situation... I know two people who were "technically" cheating on their partners but one of them had an abusive husband, and the marriage of the other one had been as good as over for years anyway.

    (and what a topic to have for my 2,000th post )

  16. #16
    Senior Member kickstart 1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    1,037
    Thanks
    73
    Thanked
    26 times in 18 posts
    "IF" you had read what i put properly, i was just curious to know if you could send anonymous txts, I would have no intention of doing that to either of my friends ..otherwise what sort of friend would i be? ..I was just curious ,(no i'm neither a stalker or creepy ), i was just asking a question ,to which i didnt know the answer!

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •