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Thread: Fathers at Home with Children

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    Fathers at Home with Children

    Any guys here stay at home dads?

    I ask as i may have to give up my full time job to look after my new baby. The wife wants to go back to work full time and we don't want our baby put in a creche. Plus we wouldn't be able to afford it anyway.

    The wife has a better paid job than me.

    I might be able to get a part time job in the evenings, say 5pm to 8pm. Looking at the possibilities now. I don't mind staying home to look after the little one.

    Would i be entitled to benefits etc?

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    Does he need a reason? Funkstar's Avatar
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    should be entitled to the same benefits your wife would. I'd be surprised if they were gender specific for stay at home parents.

    Tax credits would be the main one i think

    Someone else on here will know a lot more about it than me, thats for sure

    Congratulations on the baby too

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    omg haxor listy's Avatar
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    you will be get tax credits for family and working familys tax

    but other than that i dont think you can really get anything ive been in same boat for 6 years now and where i live not many job between 5 and 8 also wife works shifts so kinda make plans for me hard at best of time

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    Just hoping we can survive on one full time wage coming in! No mortgage to pay though as we finished that last year. Will be strange not working full time. Got to decide after christmas.

    Baby is nearly 8 weeks old now!

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    hey congrats mate! My first is expected any day now (due Christmas Day...)

    Tax credits depend on your household income, so depends what your wife is earning. You will still get child benefit though.

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    Cheers guys

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    8 weeks old. You and tour Mrs not changed your minds yet? Most blokes and most ladies can't do the husband at home thing. Massive generalisation, but mostly true. If you can good on you. I and several other couples who can't. Hormones maybe. Nature maybe. The support services are not set up for men - period. Be prepared to be very isolated more so than if the 'primary carer' is your lady.
    You have 6 -12 months to decide. Don't rush it and good luck with both your decision and being a Dad. My sprog is 16 months old. The kid gets alot more interesting after 3 months old. more grey but alot more FUN.

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    No more Mr Nice Guy. Nick's Avatar
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    Seeing as I work from home, I'm the main carer for my kids now.

    My wife works from 8.30am and gets home about 6.30pm most days.

    Ok, so my kids both go to school and my wife does part-time school hours when I have to go away on business, but I'm the one who the schools contact first etc.

    For both our kids when they were young my wife stayed at home until they were about 6 months then they went into a nursery so she could go back to work.

    Though the nursery costs meant that we only cleared maybe an extra £100 a month with my wife at work, it did mean that she had an interest outside of just being at home looking after the children.

    I have to say that though caring for the kids now they're older is much less demanding for me than it must have been for the missus, you do still feel isolated at times.

    I get around this by making sure I get out every now and then, even if it's just over to a mate's house to have a chat and watch a movie.

    If it were me, I'd take another look at child-care, even if you drop your working hours to just three days a week, you really will need that release to avoid cabin fever.

    Don't get me wrong, looking after the kids when they're young is supremely rewarding in a way that I can't describe... I used to relish my days off when the kids were little and I could look after them.

    But you really do need to make sure the BOTH of you have some 'me' and 'us' time, even if it doesn't look sensible financially on paper.... it'll keep you sane.
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    Getting childcare is out of the question. We want to bring the kids up ourselves, 100%. Plus we could not afford childcare as we are both on low pay.

    I have a month to decide but i am leaning towards being the house husband.

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    awm
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    I can say from the other side (Dad stayed home with me) that things work out fine. As I got older he got a part time job working from home which morphed into a full time job when I started school.

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    I Am A Princess! shelley bda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by custor View Post
    The support services are not set up for men - period. Be prepared to be very isolated more so than if the 'primary carer' is your lady.
    Times are changing now Childcare providers realise that lots of Dads opt to stay at home, if you have a Surestart in your area then they run creches and sessions exclusively for stay at home Dads, which gives them the chance to meet other Dads, there is lots of support for Dads nowadays.

    Jon was a stay at home Dad to our 2 boys 10 years ago, one was a Baby and one Pre-schooler, and Peoples attitudes then were terrible, I got called a bad Mum for leaving them, and comments like "how can you trust him" plus the glares he got from other Mums when he dropped the elder one off at Playgroup which used to upset me, but I knew that our Boys were doted on at home, Jon had his own little routines and i'd feel like a spare part when I was there, if I tried to do stuff for the Kids he'd be like "no! not like that, Luke likes it done this way" or "Michael likes that warmed" or "Not that Thomas Tank video, this is their favourite" same with shopping it had to be done a certain way. Then Michael started School and Jon was left with Luke who was at Pre-school in the afternoons, that's how Jon got into fixing PC's, something to do of an afternoon, then when Luke started School that had a big affect on him, for ages it had been him and his Lukey then all of sudden Luke wasn't around and his routine was all messed up, I remember him being manic all that day and insisted on decorating the bathroom bright orange, I think the Kids have benefited from their time with their Dad, even now there's a big bond between them and I don't think that would of been there if they hadn't of had that invaluable time together, he's back to working full time again ( Mechanic ) and I still work ( my hours fit around Schools so it's ideal )
    Last edited by shelley bda; 19-12-2006 at 10:17 AM.

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    First of all - congrats ! Enjoy em while you can

    Reading this I'm so grateful that ours have all grown up now. I'm disabled and try to do the house husband stuff but it is so hard. I can't imagine how I would have coped with our twins if I were disabled when they were young !

    Fortunately two of our kids still live at home so I'm lucky in that I do get a lot of help.

    Hope it works out OK whichever way you go - if any doubt over benefits, don't forget CAB, free advice from experts, not from that bloke in the pub
    Cheers, David



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    Senior Member Blademrk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelley bda View Post
    I think the Kids have benefited from their time with their Dad, even now there's a big bond between them and I don't think that would of been there if they hadn't of had that invaluable time together
    I know what you mean. I work full time, but I've always looked after my nephew when I get home ever since he was born. He's now 3 (well he will be in the 1st week of March) and he's definitely more attached to me (and his grandad) than his parents (much to my brothers annoyance )
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    A shadowy flight. MSIC's Avatar
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    Good to read about Dads looking after the kids, it is my hope to do the same (getting married July 07 first - hopefully!) since my partner earns more than me.
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    Thanks for the nice replies. My wife wants to retun to work in March and i fully support her. Plus her job has better hours than mine. It would be better all round if i gave up my full time job. I am going to get an evening part time job though as we can't afford for me not to work 100%.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Koolpc View Post
    Getting childcare is out of the question. We want to bring the kids up ourselves, 100%. Plus we could not afford childcare as we are both on low pay.

    I have a month to decide but i am leaning towards being the house husband.
    Good on you mate, I know less than nothing about bringing up kids as I have none myself and still am one, but surely at home with a parent is gonna be many times better than any care system.

    Its 2006 now mate, you can be a stay at home dad and other people will still talk to you. Go for it. You'll get to watch daytime TV!

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