The Christmas Insanity has begun!

[Nick]

Right, as some of you are aware I work for a large supermarket chain and come Christmas you'd think that we were giving away a free watch with every visit from the number of people flooding in the doors.

It seems that as soon as you mention Christmas, peole just start buying stuff... but the funniest thing for me is the fact that they turn off their brains as soon as they go shopping.

3 TRUE examples from today... just today... although this kinda thing has been going on since early this week..

A quick word of explanation... my store is one of those massive 'Savacenter' style Sainsburys, the 5th largest in the country, about four times bigger than your 'normal' sized store. Attached to one side is a Marks and Spencer, of similar size, with HUGE signs out the front, telling you in 10 foot high letters which store is which.

ONE.

Customer : Excuse me, I thought this was Marks and Spencers?
Me: No sir, thats next door.
Cust: When did they move it then?
Me: No sir, we've always been here, so have they.
Cust : Typical... why do you always move things at Christmas... normally we can't find the orange juice and now you've swapped buildings... is there a map?
Me (chuckling good humouredly): No sir, there's no map, we haven't swapped stores, they've always been on the left as you walk in the foyer.
Cust: You just want us to spend our money in here rather than in M+S... that's why you moved... we're going next door!


TWO.

I was called down from my tea break to deal with this one. I am the demonstration chef, so any techy food question automatically get passed to me by the other staff.

Cust: Oh hi, I've been looking for you... they had to put a call out.
Me: Sorry, I was just having my tea break.
Cust: But I wanted you to answer a question, you shouldn't go on a break when someone needs you.
Me: Sorry, I didn't know... How can I help?
Cust: It's this curry sauce (holds up jar of Uncle Ben's Curry sauce).. Is it mild?
Me: Well it says mild on the jar...
Cust: Does it?.. (squints at jar).. Oh yes, ok... (considers this for a moment)... No, I'll leave it thanks... we don;t really like curry anyway.


THREE

As I've said, we're a massive store. Our Seasonal section is four aisles and currently full of everything to do with Christmas. Each aisle is roughly twice as long as a standard aisle. So there's LOTS of Christmas stuff...

Cust: Hey....
Me: Sorry?
Cust: You!
Me: Yes?
Cust: (Angrily) Where's the (insert rude word of your choice here) Christmas stuff?
Me: Right behind you, sir. ( Customer is standing at top of middle aisle od Christmas gear)
Cust: No, not the (rude word) food... the (rude word) wrapping paper and (rude word)!
Me: Right here sir. (pointing about three feet behind customer)
Cust: Right, what about the chocolates and all that (rude word)?
Me: Just around the corner on the end of the aisle, where we started sir.
Cust: You're supposed to (rude word) take me there, you (VERY rude word) not just (rude word) point it (rude word) out!
Me: Ok, (takes three steps to end of aisle)... It's here sir...
Cust: (VERY rude word again)
Me: Sorry, sir, what did you just call me?
Cust: (shouting right in my face) I CALLED YOU A (very rude word).. YOU (rude word) DEAF? (very rude word)
Me: (Spotting security rapidly approaching) No mate, but your (rude word) barred. Have a good Christmas!

(security cart off Mr Angry)

Oh the satisfaction!

And after Monday I only nine solid days of this until Christmas... deep joy!

[Jonny M]

Someone please help me get through the Monday before Christmas at John Lewis

[Skii]

Some real examples of what happens when cousins make love eh Deck ?

[Agent]

numer 2 had me cracking up !

[lynni]

oh dear, xmas does all kinds to people doesnt it? number three sounds like pure stress!

The first two were funneh tho :-D

[Twigman]

2 and 3 are class...
i respect you for keeping your cool, and actually bothering to repsond to these stupid people.

[aeonf242]

Those accounts are class, LMAO!

I always get accosted when I'm in shops in my suit, even though I don't work there.

Recently I was packing my own in Sainsburys so I had the little PHASER GUN and this woman stops me "Blah, Blah, Blah" I say I don't work here sorry, etc and carry on shopping. She goes over to her husband and says "he just lied about not working here"...how thick are people........So I just shout that I wasn;t lying

[Kimo]

Should not go on a break when someone needs you? Sounds like Deckard would never get a break to me, that would be a 24 hour job

[[GSV]Trig]

It wasnt Dak was it Deck, we all know how fluent he is in naughty words

[Punky]

i had some women have a go at me last night because she thinks our work is shutting for too long over christmas! from 8pm xmas eve till 2nd jan. i work in a chip shop, and apart from these hols, the only time we are shut is bank holidays and sundays! jeez, some people dont understand we need a break too!

[TeePee]

I got my first bottle of booze and twenty quid from one of my residents the other day.. Christmas is very merry where I work!

[Nick]

I can't wait until Xmas Eve... we close at 7pm and you can bet your mortgage that we'll still be telling people to naff off home outta the checkouts at 7.30pm...

Last year there was a punch up at the door when a customer rolled up at 7.45pm, we had closed 45 minutes ago and he wanted to 'just quickly get a few things'. He was told we were closed and he went off on a huge strop, got all lippy and demanded to be let in... he even said we we're a public service and had a duty to let him in and shop.

The duty manager told him we we're open 363 days each year and he chose now to do some shopping? Tough luck, we' were closed. At this point the guy, having absolutely lost it, picked up a trolley and threw it at the guy, smashing him into the doors . The security guard, decked out with seasonal holly and mistletoe cheerfully clubbed him to the ground with his torch...

[lynni]

Originally posted by TeePee
I got my first bottle of booze and twenty quid from one of my residents the other day.. Christmas is very merry where I work!

Where do u work?

[Maffu]

It's at times like these I thank whoever for not working in the retail industry. I did one Christmas working at WHSmiths. And one was enough.

I used to have some faith in the general public before I worked there. I lost all hope after I left the job [and thankfully the industry...you're a brave man! I found out I really didn't have the patience.]

[Rory]

Hey Deck u work at colney heath Saisbury right? I've go there sometimes w00t

[TeePee]

I am head of security for a private road in London. I can't be exact because one of the properties is of a diplomatically sensitive nature, but let's just say we have more billionaire residents than millionaires...

Of course, that doesn't get me out of working xmas day, boxing day and New Years Eve, but you wouldn't believe the xmas party I got an invite to last week!