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Thread: Some mildly humourous suggestions...

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    Senior Trouble Maker muddyfox470's Avatar
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    Some mildly humourous suggestions...

    Just Found this: http://pics.obra.se/pic07091qn.jpg

    Found these courtesy of stumbleupon:

    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

    8. Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The Rules of Life Really Are...You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

    9. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right."

    10. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    11. Never pass up an opportunity to go potty.

    12 If You Woke up Breathing, Congratulations! You have another chance!

    13. And Finally..... Be Really Good To Your Family and Friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan!

    source: http://www.caughtatwork.net/wisdom/view.php?itemid=417

    Ian

    PS. I don't know why it goes 1, 2, 4 i just copied and pasted
    Last edited by muddyfox470; 24-01-2007 at 06:38 PM.
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    Senior Trouble Maker muddyfox470's Avatar
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    Just found this aswell:



    from http://www.eyeonsoaps.com/headlines.htm

    Just get stumbleupon (for firefox, ie and seamonkey) to waste many an hour > http://www.stumbleupon.com/

    Ian
    Mac fancier > white macbook base spec .................. CS: muddyfirebang

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    Not Very Senior Member RavenNight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by muddyfox470 View Post
    8. Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The Rules of Life Really Are...You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
    Utter, Utter Genius!
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    Flat cap, Whippets, Cave. Clunk's Avatar
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    Excellent, although a lot of them look to be Viz top tips.

    "Fun-sized Mars Bars make ideal normal sized Mars Bars for dwarves."

    "Normal-sized Mars bars make ideal fun-sized Mars Bars for giants."

    "King-size Mars Bars make ideal normal size Mars Bars for giants."

    "Normal-sized Mars Bars make ideal king-sized Mars Bars for dwarves, as well as fun-sized Mars Bars for giants."

    Edit: and this...

    "To make your husband's trousers heavier, hang onions from the belt loops"
    Last edited by Clunk; 14-01-2007 at 11:45 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RavenNight View Post
    Utter, Utter Genius!
    Indeed!

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    Whoa.. that's harsh on the guy who was trying out the American Pie scene - talk about naming and shaming! Imagine if you were that kid and you had to explain to your friends what the article was all about O.o

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    "This demonstrates that producers should consider the effects their films have on young and impressionable people".

    Well done America! NICE GOING
    Last edited by MadduckUK; 15-01-2007 at 01:01 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ephesians
    Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit
    Vodka

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    Late Night Ninja! CrazyMonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by muddyfox470 View Post
    Just found this aswell:



    from http://www.eyeonsoaps.com/headlines.htm

    Just get stumbleupon (for firefox, ie and seamonkey) to waste many an hour > http://www.stumbleupon.com/

    Ian
    Rofl made us all laugh.

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    Senior Member this_is_gav's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whiternoise View Post
    Whoa.. that's harsh on the guy who was trying out the American Pie scene - talk about naming and shaming! Imagine if you were that kid and you had to explain to your friends what the article was all about O.o
    Why do I get the impression that you, at some point in life, have considered the aforementioned, yet thought better of it at the last minute?

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    your presuming he thaught better of it. and wasnt just more lucky with respect to publicity
    Quote Originally Posted by Ephesians
    Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit
    Vodka

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    Senior Trouble Maker muddyfox470's Avatar
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    Pseudo-Mad Scientist Whiternoise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by this_is_gav View Post
    Why do I get the impression that you, at some point in life, have considered the aforementioned, yet thought better of it at the last minute?
    Umm.. no.. of.. course not..


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    Quote Originally Posted by muddyfox470 View Post
    As it says - only in America

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    where is #3?

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    The King of Vague Steve B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jumpinbeans View Post
    where is #3?
    PS. I don't know why it goes 1, 2, 4 i just copied and pasted

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    oops lol - didnt see that bit.

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