Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: How to RMA your not so "Golden Sample" Pulp Fiction Style

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    LONDON
    Posts
    318
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts

    Wink How to RMA your not so "Golden Sample" Pulp Fiction Style

    How to RMA your not so "Golden Sample" Pulp Fiction Style

    Kevin had been waiting for his brand new, Doom III/HL2 compliant Gainward 6800GT Golden sample for over two weeks now - well six weeks would be more like it when you consider he'd initially pre-ordered a Radeon X800XT but had finally given up on it after being informed that he'd have to wait for at least another four weeks ... in fact when you take into account the "paper" launch some six weeks before that it's more like 3 months.

    The card arrives and Kevin is at last able to put his new rig together to play the much awaited, and similarly much delayed, release of Doom III. The A64 3500 (939) is up and running nicely in its shiny new case and the 6800 is running happily away at stock. Life is good ... or is it ...

    ... the overclocking begins but the card won’t do anything over 360/1020 without artefacts and consistent lock-ups. Kevin didn't part with his hard earned cash to run his 6800GT Golden Sample at stock 6800GT speeds ... the way Kevin looked at it this card was his birthright and he'd be damned if any n00b was gonna put his greasy yellow benchmarks on futuremark to beat his.

    Kevin rings customer support at "www.pimp-computers.co.uk" and customer support manager "Jimmy" answers the call ...

    Kevin: Hello?
    Kevin: Hello!?
    Jimmy: Pimp-computers, Jimmy speaking how can I help?
    Kevin: You sold me queer Giraffes!
    Jimmy: I'm sorry?
    Kevin: You sold me a schnorrer - is this Golden Sample supposed to do 400/1100 or not!?
    Jimmy: What?
    Kevin: Man this is some f00ked up repugnant sh1t
    Jimmy: What!?
    Kevin: Say "what" again, motherf**ker, I dare you, I double-dare you say "what" again
    Jimmy: erm ... Sorry?
    Kevin: has my house got a sign on it saying “Stock GPU storage”? Well has it?
    Kevin: You know why it hasn’t got that sign? Because storing stock GPU’s ain’t my fu*king business that’s why!
    Jimmy: Sir I’m not sure how I can help …
    Kevin: Look if my purchase isn't appreciated ...
    Jimmy: No it's nothing like that I just don't know ...
    Kevin: If I'm curt with you it's because time is a factor ... I think fast, I overclock fast and I need you guys to act fast if we are going to get out of this ... so pretty please, with sugar on top, change the fu*king card
    Jimmy: Listen, Sir, I really need some details off you before ...
    Kevin: Do I look like a bitch!?
    Jimmy: I really can't take this any further without ...
    Kevin: DO I LOOK LIKE A BITCH!!??
    Jimmy: Sir I've got a threshold, I've got a threshold for the abuse that I will take ...
    Kevin: Oh you've got a threshold, well right now I'm overclocked Barton on passive cooling, I’m a 5800 running 3dmark03 … and your ass ain’t talking your way outta this sh1t
    Jimmy: Listen, Friend …
    Kevin: You ain’t my friend, Poloco
    Jimmy: What was that?
    Kevin: I think you heard me just fine, Punchy
    Jimmy: So what now?
    Kevin: Let me tell you what now, I’m gonna call a couple of hard forum-hitting reviewers to go to work on the sites round here, when I've finished with you PIMP will be lucky to be re-selling rubber dogsh1t outta Hong-Kong ... you hear me talking Jimmy-boy I ain’t through with you by damn sight … I’m gonna get medieval on your ass.
    Jimmy: I’m sending an RMA
    Kevin: You’re sending an RMA!? Well sheet negro that’s all you had to say.

    Kevin is still awaiting his replacement and is hoping that it will arrive before the release of HL2 or 2005 whichever is the sooner

  2. #2
    MAS
    MAS is offline
    When I say rice...
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Posts
    808
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    HAHAHAHAHAHA.

  3. #3
    iMc
    iMc is offline
    Senior Member iMc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Northants
    Posts
    3,616
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    lol, bit harsh on him tho, but very funny all the same!

    I hope ur rma shows up!!
    HEXUS|iMc

  4. #4
    Cable Guy Jonny M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Loughborough Uni
    Posts
    4,263
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    4 times in 1 post
    Ha ha, although the Hong Kong rubber dog **** is from Top Gun

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    LONDON
    Posts
    318
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Caged
    Ha ha, although the Hong Kong rubber dog **** is from Top Gun
    hehe you missed the Giraffes - they were from Gladiator

  6. #6
    Resident abit mourner BUFF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Sunny Glasgow
    Posts
    8,067
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked
    181 times in 171 posts
    Apparently Gainward got their BIOS slightly wrong on a batch of GS - sounds like you got 1

    MSI P55-GD80, i5 750
    abit A-S78H, Phenom 9750,

    My HEXUS.trust abit forums

  7. #7
    Richard Allen Evans mr_anderson187's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Norfolk 'n chance
    Posts
    2,133
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    0 times in 0 posts
    lol harshness, no need. maybe he was just a simple wee man earning a buck on the phoens, he could be at home crying his little eyes out right now, shame onm you. lol well funny
    Under Development...

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •