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Clever - better than sticking a fish in your ear.
Pleiades (31-10-2018)
Matter of opinion...Originally Posted by Peeej1
Will a fish record your conversation and then use it to define which products to advertise at you next time you log in?
Also, with the fish you don't have to worry about battery consumption, signal coverage or mobile data availability...
I'm afraid this species of translator is vastly more invasive.
Pleiades (31-10-2018)
Well, some uni flatmates of mine taught me some really choice Arabic swear words. I'm tempted to use this to tell Google where to shove it .... other than their ear.
Why is it that everyone wants to learn or are taught swear words of foreign languages ? Always puzzled me!
Have you not heard of phishing?
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
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Pleiades (31-10-2018)
Well, when you're impoverished students you've got to do sonething to pass the time. My on-campus flat of 12 had three arabic speakers in it and they were keen to polish their English. In return, they taught me some basic Arabic. Some of it very basic.
Besides, there's been a number of times over the years when I've found cursing in a foreign language useful, and I find Arabic especially useful as so few of my normal contacts speak it, so you can call them all sorts of names, while smiling, and they may suspect you called them something rude, but don't know.
And, on a more serious note, as a journalist I've often found that at least understanding some foreign languages to be very useful indeed. Best of all, some basic Japanese. You'd be astonished how much you learn on a press trip in a Japanese company boardroom when senior execs have no idea you understand them. You just have to remember to keep a dutifully blank "Huh?" expression on your face when they switched to Japanese for a quick discussion.
Besides .... Arabic is wonderful for swearing.
Because it's big and clever and makes you sound cool?
Because we're English and sometimes have the need to offend foreigners in ways that they can actually understand?
They can phish all they like, but they won't get anywhere with me until they can at least spell correctly...!
No, no no. We're British. We've never had trouble offending foreigners, without bothering to actually speak their language. We just S A Y I T S L O W L Y and V E R Y L O U D L Y in English, 'cos then, obviously, all foreigners understand us perfectly.
Nah, cussing someone a foreign language is best used on Brits, because they typically don't speak the kanguage. That's why Arabic works well - so few (native) Brits speak it. By the time people work out that they've probably been insulted, conversation (and probably you) have long moved on.
Of course, there is a risk.
The above method is great for leaving people a bit confused and bemused, probably feeling they ought to be offended but not quite sure .... unless you pick someone that happens to speak that language, in which case the above method is great for getting punched on the nose, kicked in the plums or in the case of one or two of those Arabic phrases, probably nose snd plums.
Russian works pretty well too. German isn't bad with all those gutteral and glottal sounds but has the singular disadvantage of being far too widely understood, thus presenting a serious risk to the health of the utterer's schnoz and nuts.
Personally, I think I need to come up with a few choice phrases maybe in Aramaic. Maybe a long-dead language .... anyone know Aztec? Perhaps Mayan?
Pleiades (31-10-2018)
Speak for yourself. I'm English.
The British haven't no.... but the English can cause even more offence when said foreigners can actually understand it!
And you don't think that's precisely why we learn to swear in foreign languages?
I thought you were supposed to be British?
Curse in English, man... Do it properly, do it well and crank out something subtly witty with a distinctly Hornblower flavour that would put Shakespeare to shame!
Noted. Database amended. The generic term was used in case you sere Welsh, or worse, Scots.
See, that's how it's done. Two entire nationalities suitably offended in a single sentence.
But if I'd wanted to insult someone so they weren't sure, I might have used arabic and said .... hang on, does that pesky Google thing include Arabic?
I can be Scottish if I choose, as well.
See, the multiple nationality allows me to curse like an Englishman in all manner of languages, while the Scottish accent doubles the offense offered just by its mere tone, all capped off with an overriding British wit.
Hold my beer, lad....
"Cursed be the blacksmith who forged the axe, which felled the tree, from which was carved the headboard of the bed of the parents of the driver of the carriage in which your mother and father first met"
THAT is how it's done.
It does.... sort-of.... It generally only works if you can read, and type in, Squiggle.
Best to just google up some phoenetic phrases, like the rest of us.
Ah. Umm. Errr .... that had never occurred to me. At all. Ever. Honest. Which reminds me, change sig.
As for me holding your beer. Sure, pal, when I come round for dinner. I can probably hold 7 or 8 before I start to wobble a bit, and if I pass out somewhere betweenv12 and 15, just kinda shove me under the dining room table. Eggs Benedict for breakfast works well for a hangover.
Oh, and strong black coffee. Thanks.
PS. I''d advise leaving a bucket close by. while I'm under the table. You never know.
Yeah, that doesn't really work in Google Translator either...
You won't be doing that with MY beer.... I only have the one anyway, and the rest of the house is all wine, gin, whisky and whatever else the wife is drinking. You might find a single can of beer, but that's for the chicken. Any cans of stout are for the Christmas pud... touching that means death!
If you want beer for drinking, especially something other than Budweiser or Windhoek, either bring your own or co-ordinate logistics with the other guests.
The guest list is likely to comprise ex squaddies, Royal Marines, bikers and mechanics. Passing out at my place is at your own risk!!
So does being woken by three hungry puppies and a trip to one of our excellent burger vans!
You're British - Drink tea...
You will be relocated to the neighbours' flowerbed or compost heap before it becomes an issue.
Pleiades (31-10-2018)
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