Help Modern films - Battleships SPOILERS

Bare with me - I've had several Stellas....

I am watching this film, with high hopes of an exciting transformers esque film, but 30mins from the end and I am watching it purely because my girlfriend has shouted at me to be quiet and she wants to see it end. It is infuriating!

1) Where are the waves!? lots of heavy stuff falling into the sea at immense velocity, yet no waves?
1.25) US Navy allowing someone who is late, undisciplined, wears sunglasses and is a general tit to continue service until convenient.
1.5) The legless guy who cant walk via virtual screen yet walks up and down mountains & Fights quite happily.
2) No fire control/All elec stuff failing, due to EM waves - Aren't all modern military equip shielded?
3) Water buoys in such a density they can detect the consistent movement of battleships?
4) Anti-missile Gatling guns that miss the equivalent of oil drums falling from the sky
5) Hot blonde chick that can drive (controversial, I admit)
6) handbrake turn in a battleship via the anchor being dropped.
7) verterns who have camped out on a battleship for 24 hours + who are ready to take and command the [museum] ship.
8) Said de-commissioned ship with ammunitions on board.
8.5) Said decommisioned, museum ship, brought back to life with a few welds and a flaming torch to re-ignite the engines.
9) More handbrake turns (including drifting) the battleships via anchors being thrown
over board
10) Scene time dedicated to old men on 50 cals being used against said alien battleship.
11) More rubbish
12) rubbish
13) More of RIHANNA, especially rubbish.
14) More Rhianna rubbish
15) rubbish
16) ends.

Sorry, ill be quiet now! :(

edit; I do not like Rihanna. At all. :(