Are/were you a hands on father?

[Bugbait]

Sorry ladies, putting this one to the fathers out there. Are (or were if they've grown up) you a hands on father or do you let the missus do most/all of the work?

Hands on being:
- Nappy changes.
- Bathing.
- Feeding.
- Settling when upset.
- Putting them down to sleep.
- Anything else you can think of.

Curious because in my closer group of friends with their first children, two of us are very hands on and do as much as we can while not at work while another two are "completely useless" according to their wives.

Eg. The wives got together for a catch up (gossip session) recently and one told a tale of how she left their 2 year old daughter in the care of her husband for two hours. She had arranged a baby sitter for 2 hours but she was 2 hours later home than expected so he had to take care of their daughter for 2 hours (4 total) by himself. This was the first time in 2 years he had to feed, wash and put her to bed by himself. He described it as one of the most stressful and intense 2 hours of his life. She gave him the "WTF, I do this every day so quit your bitching" look.

EDIT: Sorry, this question is obviously aimed at the child when they're in their initial years. As they get older, well...whole new maze which I've yet to navigate.

[Rob_B]

- Nappy changes. - Yep
- Bathing. - Yep, every night
- Feeding. - Yep
- Settling when upset. - Yep, but he prefers his mum
- Putting them down to sleep. - Yep, every night
- Anything else you can think of. - Yep

-----

She gave him the "WTF, I do this every day so quit your bitching" look.

I hate that look, the 'I go to work' answer doesn't fly very well against that

My wife tells me some of her friends partners are useless with the kids, I can't imagine not being involved in even the tiny little details. Helps with bonding & also my wife looks after him all day so it's only fair

[[GSV]Trig]

I did everything but feeding, something to do with no boobs, as soon as Liv was on bottles I could do everything..

[fuddam]

hands on

[Phage]

Hands on with all of them. I don't know of any blokes who aren't. I must admit that I have always thought those stories of useless fathers as being exagerated. The reverse of the women driver stories.

[Bugbait]

hands on

I just realized my question could be distorted in a bad way...but let's not go there.

[Rob_B]

Hands on with all of them. I don't know of any blokes who aren't. I must admit that I have always thought those stories of useless fathers as being exagerated.

Not from what my wife tells me her friends have to deal with, it's mostly older guys though (ie 30+) that seem to be the main culprits for some reason. Possibly as they've got used to a 'blokey' lifestyle? I think it's a shame myself.

[Phage]

I am 30+, and all of the Dads I know were very much involved in the day to day baby duties. Maybe it was different in the UK, a higher proportion of chauvinsim ?

[Bugbait]

Hands on with all of them. I don't know of any blokes who aren't. I must admit that I have always thought those stories of useless fathers as being exagerated.

The various forums my wife regularly visits are filled with bad stories. Then again, as a general rule people are louder when they have something to grumble about. Seems to be 50% hands on, 50% useless. The middle ground seems to be non-existent on the forums.

[menthel]

I do all of those when I am not at work. The littl'un is a right mummy's boy though!

[Phage]

I wonder if we went to a very male dominated forum....such as one dedicated to 70's muscle cars, whether we would see much the same sort of split on women reverse parking ?
I wonder of there is some reverse sexism involved ?

[Moby-Dick]

Sorry ladies, putting this one to the fathers out there. Are (or were if they've grown up) you a hands on father or do you let the missus do most/all of the work?

Hands on being:
- Nappy changes.
- Bathing.
- Feeding.
- Settling when upset.
- Putting them down to sleep.
- Anything else you can think of.

Curious because in my closer group of friends with their first children, two of us are very hands on and do as much as we can while not at work while another two are "completely useless" according to their wives.

Eg. The wives got together for a catch up (gossip session) recently and one told a tale of how she left their 2 year old daughter in the care of her husband for two hours. She had arranged a baby sitter for 2 hours but she was 2 hours later home than expected so he had to take care of their daughter for 2 hours (4 total) by himself. This was the first time in 2 years he had to feed, wash and put her to bed by himself. He described it as one of the most stressful and intense 2 hours of his life. She gave him the "WTF, I do this every day so quit your bitching" look.

EDIT: Sorry, this question is obviously aimed at the child when they're in their initial years. As they get older, well...whole new maze which I've yet to navigate.

I'd like to think I'm pretty hands on , but Angeleyes is a lot better at settling my little one down and does a lot more than I do, but I have no worries about at least attempting everything ! - its still very much a learning curve and just when you've got used to something the game changes a lot when she was very young I really struggled at first , but practice makes perfect !

[0iD]

Totally hands on, & now full time stay at home dad

[Carlh]

Yes to all the above although the mrs also did her fair share.

Its a lot easier now he is nearly 4 although he is a mummys boy and will go to her if he is upset.

[angeleyes]

I think the bitching very much depends very much on the circumstances. At the moment cos the little one has a cold and is teething and only wants Mummy, my view is very jaded and i would say that Moby doesn't help out as much as he could. But when i am not shattered and have had a chance to do things for myself like reading a book or playing on my DS i would say he is very much a hands on Dad.

And i my experience it's the younger Dad's that seem to be more hands off about things. But i don't know if that is just lack of confidence in these particular individuals. I do think the hands on/hands off thing is a lot to do with knowing that you aren't going to break the baby.

[Bugbait]

Totally hands on, & now full time stay at home dad

That's my aim. Wife misses the adult and professional interaction. I can't stand being around all the people, especially the tube to work. I took about 6-7 weeks of parental leave and loved it. Hoping to swap roles next year!