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Thread: Facebook & Kids

  1. #1
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    Facebook & Kids

    My daughter is eleven and is in her first year of 'senior' school. She desperately wants to join Facebook, saying that all her friends at school have joined, giving false birth dates. The age limit for Facebook is 13 and my wife and I have told her she will have to wait until she is that age before she can join.

    Are we being mean?
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    Oh Crumbs.... Biscuit's Avatar
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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    Im not a parent myself but i do use facebook a lot so i thought i would drop my opinion in.
    Facebook can be quite dangerous with regards to releasing personal information and kids can be quite careless. The two of them together is not a great combination as can be seen quite reguarly on:
    http://failbook.failblog.org/

    I would stick by your original plan and then when she is that age and she can have a facebook, help her set up the basic privacy and account settings to make sure there is no personal details open to the public.

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    Kendoka - Kendo For Life! IronWarrior's Avatar
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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    Facebook is only dangerous if you want it to be.

    Why put all your personal information on it? Just use your nickname. You don't need to add your phone number, email address or whatever else, just leave that blank.

    Let her have one, but make it with her, make the settings "friends only" so only friends that she adds can see her profile, but don't add any personal details on it.

    Check it weekly to make sure she isn't showing her address or whatever else.

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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    My sisters have been on Facebook since they were 8 and 10, the biggest dangers for them have been a bit of cyber bullying, a couple of dodgy link spams and seeing a few adverts for booze and dating sites.

    You do have to show her trust at some point, so why not start with something easy. Set up her account, insist she adds you as a friend, set her privacy settings as if you were in MI:6 and see how it goes. Just make sure she is armed with information on how to deal with perverts or bullys

    (\___/) (\___/) (\___/) (\___/) (\___/) (\___/) (\___/)
    (='.'=) (='.'=) (='.'=) (='.'=) (='.'=) (='.'=) (='.'=)
    (")_(") (")_(") (")_(") (")_(") (")_(") (")_(") (")_(")


    This is bunny and friends. He is fed up waiting for everyone to help him out, and decided to help himself instead!

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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    Well, I think we'll make her wait until she's 13. I am not going to encourage her to falsify her age on any network. After talking to other parents I am actually quite surprised how many allow their children to do this.
    In the meantime we've found that there are several social networks specifically set up for pre-teens. They are not considered 'cool' apparently, but are certainly used by millions of kids round the world.
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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    It might seem mean, but surely letting her falsify her age is wrong and not a very good lesson to be learning. What other parents let their children do is up to them but I think your right in choosing what you feel is best for your child and not bowing to any pressure.

  8. #7
    Does he need a reason? Funkstar's Avatar
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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    My step son has a PlayStation Network account, but we did it the right way and I created a master accound and added him as a child on that. Some of his friends have their own account, so at 10 years old PSN believes they are 18. Not something we wanted to be doing for him.

    I think Facebook will be the same when that subject comes up.

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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    No, your not being mean. Your following the rules, as you should to protect your daughter. I use FaceBook very rarely for one reason, people you don't know and don't want to know send you messages and requests. This put me and my wife right off it.

    I guess i'll be expecting this talk when my 6 year-old daughter gets to that age, oh joy!


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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    Yer, i don't think you should. I'm only 19, and definitely not a parent, but rules are rules. I think it would be best if you made her wait till she is 13, then talk to her about the dangers of it...shes gonna see her friends the next day anyway, shes at school!

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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    My son is 13 and he asked me to help him configure his privacy settings also he only has his school friends and one adult who is their scout leader for security. My twin daughters are nearly 11 and i have no intention of letting them join FB until they are 13 too. I trust my children and they have free reign on all the house PC's with Kaspersky security parent controls on. FB is only dangerous if your children are not educated in the risks of the Internet!

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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Ceefer View Post
    Well, I think we'll make her wait until she's 13. I am not going to encourage her to falsify her age on any network. After talking to other parents I am actually quite surprised how many allow their children to do this.
    In the meantime we've found that there are several social networks specifically set up for pre-teens. They are not considered 'cool' apparently, but are certainly used by millions of kids round the world.
    My daughter is 10. She has friends who are on facebook. The pressure isn't there yet, but it will come I'm sure. I completely support your approach. I believe for children to grow into healthy adults, they need to have 'managed' trust invested in them, but they also need to have clear boundaries defined. 13 is the rule, and your choice is follow that, good for you.

    My sister-in-law allowed her daughter to join some of the other kid-orientated social sites until she was old enough.

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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    If your going to let kids on there make sure that you set the security settings and that they dont go clicking on every link that appears (like this to see the pictures etc), otherwise you'll soon find yourself sitting at an infected computer.

    You might also want to setup some sort of DNS so you can track whats going on, my other halfs sister had a laptop for her 11th birthday and it wasnt until I showed the mother the logs of where she (or her friends according to her, although the time logs disproved that) had been, that anyone thought anything of it.

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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    Peer pressure.

    Facebook today, navel piercing, smoking, and tattoos tomorrow. Not to mention booze and sex.
    It's all to come and I'm blowed if I know the answer either.

    Remember when you were that age. Didn't you know it all? "I can look after myself" and such tosh as kids come out with. You're not going to stop it, so I'd try and work alongside them to control it.

    Banning stuff is pointless as they'll do it anyway.
    And why follow slavishly a minimum age rule? What's so different about one day before you're 13 from one day after?

    In the nicest possible way, I'd suggest you lighten up.

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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    My son is 13 and he asked me to help him configure his privacy settings also he only has his school friends and one adult who is their scout leader for security.
    Now that's a good idea, parents setting up an account just for that purpose.

    As a parent (rational or not) sex offenders and bullying are my worse fears. The interent has just made it so much easier. For example, ooh I remember cycling everywhere back in the day as a small kid, but then there was less traffic, things change.

    I personally think some education is called for... would they be happy each day at school to stick up their photos and comments, and where they'll be on such a day/time, on the notice board for all to see? Would they then be happy to have them appear on national press/TV for anyone to see?

    They wouldn't get in a stranger's car but the internet, silly head kicks in. The keyword on facebook is "friend" - not "friend of friend of friend, some random".

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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    tbh the fact that you are here, aware of whats going on and all the rest of it is already a good sign, that awareness will give the kids the freedom to do things but within parameters that you set.
    I had to deal with a girl who's parents were completely unaware of what this girl was doing and when they did find out they didnt believe the evidence that was presented to them but burried there heads in the sand and thought that there little girl wasnt doing anything wrong and that it was her friends using her laptop to look at things and do things that she shouldnt be doing...

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    Re: Facebook & Kids

    once you make a decision, stick to it. Simple. Not always easy, of course.

    and the more they whinge, complain, whine etc, tell them the longer it will be before they have one. They'll thank you later, for sure.
    One can never stop saying Thank You

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