how do you actually apply to have shared custody of a child

[Russ]

My money's are low. Important.

My daughter spends 4/5 nights a week at my house. I pay my ex money for her up keep but she also gets child benefits etc. So I think I'm getting a pretty bum deal here. More to the fact I want to take my daughter to Florida (mum's paying I couldn't afford to take her) but ex has said no, then eventually "ok, but I'm coming too and staying in a different hotel" I shizzle you not.

So basically. How do I go about not giving my ex a chunk of money eat h month when I provide just as much care and time for my daughter (before anybody suggests talking it over so i don't pay my mutual agreement please remove fingers from keyboard)

[Phage]

Right here, surely ?
https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance/overview

[Russ]

Nope.

[jimbouk]

If you’re the receiving parent
You must tell the service managing your case if there’s a change to:

...
the number of nights a child regularly stays overnight with the paying parent

One would assume this would have some impact on the level of funding required.

[Phage]

If you want it enforceable, i.e. legal, Yep

[aramil]

My daughter spends 4/5 nights a week at my house.

From what you have said (not knowing agae and daytime arrangements/school etc) she spends more time with you than your ex? This would make you the primary carer and she should be paying to you.

Sorry not wishing to pry but details are important. But as others have said legal routes are your only real way.

[scaryjim]

As others have said, if she spending more time with you than the other parent you are the de facto carer. The key here is why your ex still gets CHB if you're the primary carer. If it's a court order then I'm afraid it's an expensive trip to court to sort the mess out. If it's just because that's the way it fell out, then you might have a chance to resolve this civilly with your ex - explain that as you're taking on a greater burden of care you feel it's only fair that you get the CHB and don't pay her maintenance as you're already paying the lion's share of your child's upkeep anyway.

Chances are, however, that you will need to take some action one way or the other. Might be worth seeing if there's a local lawyer who specialises in family law and will give you a free initial appointment - they'll be able to guide you through this far better than we can...

[Jonj1611]

On the holiday side of things this maybe a good read for you :-

http://www.sydneymitchell.co.uk/news...-are-separated

[Kumagoro]

I would keep a diary of expenses and who is paying for what and how often she stays with you etc.then if it ever did go to court you have evidence that you are the primary carer.