Originally Posted by
Clunk
This would have been more appropriate :handbag: :baby:
"The following are simply some random thoughts that have been rattling about my head of late and that I'd like to let out -- a little house cleaning, if you will. To get immediately to the point, if I recall correctly, it is not uncommon for Mr. BlindMelon7 to victimize the innocent, penalize the victim for making any effort to defend himself, and then paint the whole pernicious affair as some great benefit to humanity. He writes a lot of long statements that mean practically nothing. What's sneaky is that BlindMelon7 constructs those statements in such a way that it never occurs to his readers to analyze them. Analysis would almost certainly indicate that if the human race is to survive on this planet, we will have to help others to see through the empty and meaningless statements uttered by BlindMelon7 and his toadies. It's our responsibility to ratchet up our level of understanding. That's the first step in trying to build an inclusive, nondiscriminatory movement for social and political change, and it's the only way to prescribe a course of action.
BlindMelon7 will stop at nothing to reconstitute society on the basis of arrested development and envious malevolence. This may sound outrageous, but if it were fiction I would have thought of something more credible. As it stands, it's BlindMelon7's belief that my letters demonstrate a desire to devalue me as a person. I can't understand how anyone could go from anything I ever wrote to such a licentious idea. In fact, my letters generally make the diametrically opposite claim, that BlindMelon7's stooges, who are legion, say, "Space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us." Yes, I'm afraid they really do talk like that. It's the only way for them to conceal that BlindMelon7's reason is not true reason. It does not seek the truth, but only churlish answers, uncouth resolutions to conflicts. Imagine, as it is not hard to do, that BlindMelon7 uses people and destroys lives without compunction. It then follows that if one believes statements like, "Insecure, disruptive kleptomaniacs are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive," one is, in effect, supporting repugnant heresiarchs. Believe it or not, I really want to believe that he is a decent, honest person. Unfortunately, as is often the case, what I want to believe proves to be fantasy. The truth is that it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. BlindMelon7 distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain his current opinions.
BlindMelon7 somehow manages to maintain a straight face when saying that he has the linguistic prowess to produce a masterwork of meritorious literature. I am greatly grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic storytelling which is the resultant of layers of social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and cognitively enlightened civilization. Just to add a little more perspective, we must steer clear of simplistic, monocausal explanations and mythic bogeymen. Don't make the mistake of thinking otherwise. BlindMelon7 does, and that's why I once told him that he is more concerned with the social acceptability of an idea than with its truth or falsity. How did he respond to that? He proceeded to curse me off using a number of colorful expletives not befitting this letter, which serves only to show that I have no idea why BlindMelon7 makes such a big fuss over statism. There are far more pressing issues that present themselves and that should be discussed, debated, and solved -- issues such as war, famine, poverty, and homelessness. There is also the lesser issue that BlindMelon7 has been known to say that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance. That notion is so bleeding-heart, I hardly know where to begin refuting it.
BlindMelon7 may pour a few drops of wormwood into our general enthusiasm right after he reads this letter. Let him. Sooner than you think, I will advance a clear, credible, and effective vision for dealing with our present dilemma and its most witless manifestations. If we don't remove the BlindMelon7 threat now, it will bite us in our backside before long. He and several groups of jaundiced geeks are in cahoots to sow the seeds of discord. With this central point cleared up, the rest of BlindMelon7's arguments are rendered moot, as he spouts the same bile in everything he writes, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue BlindMelon7's excited about this week is Jacobinism, which says to me that the time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must make some changes here. The first step in that process is to realize that I have always been an independent thinker. I'm not influenced by popular trends, the media, or even so-called undisputed facts when parroted by others. Maybe that streak of independence is what first enabled me to see that it is immature and stupid of BlindMelon7 to provide cover for a libidinous agenda. It would be mature and intelligent, however, to make his belligerent initiatives understood, resisted, and made the object of deserved contempt by young and old alike, and that's why I say that hooliganism has served as the justification for the butchering, torture, and enslavement of more people than any other "ism". That's why it's BlindMelon7's favorite; it makes it easy for him to abet a resurgence of foolish sexism.
As someone who is working hard to speak out against egocentric pettifoggers of one sort or another, I must point out that BlindMelon7's serfs all look like BlindMelon7, think like BlindMelon7, act like BlindMelon7, and lure the oligophrenic into his junta, just like BlindMelon7 does. And all this in the name of -- let me see if I can get their propaganda straight -- brotherhood and service. Ha! He says he's not surly, but he's sincerely craven, and that's essentially the same thing. I've tried explaining to his trained seals that he fits the stereotypical image of malign, ghastly sandbaggers. Unfortunately, it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. In fact, I'd bet Martians would be more likely to discern that you, of course, now need some hard evidence that to join BlindMelon7's lynch mob, one must deal with membership rules, brainwashing rituals, huge amounts of money, and meeting locations enveloped in secrecy. Well, how about this for evidence: It will not be easy to shine a light on his efforts to vilify our history, character, values, and traditions. Nevertheless, we must attempt to do exactly that, for the overriding reason that BlindMelon7 has delivered exactly the opposite of what he had previously promised us. Most notably, his vows of liberation turned out to be masks for oppression and domination. And, almost as troubling, BlindMelon7's vows of equality did little more than convince people that anyone who questions BlindMelon7's warped view of the world is a threat to his tottering sense of reality. Now, that's a strong conclusion to draw just from the evidence I've presented in this letter. So let me corroborate it by saying that BlindMelon7's canards are merely a stalking horse. They mask his secret intention to calumniate helpless gasbags. BlindMelon7's plaints are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're utterly mutinous, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, if BlindMelon7's apologues get any more impudent, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. In closing, we must work together to take steps toward creating an inclusive society free of attitudinal barriers. Together, we can make a difference. Forever and always."
From Scott Pakin's complain generator :)