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Thread: What the Eff is this?!

  1. #1
    WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MadduckUK's Avatar
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    What the Eff is this?!

    http://www.killernic.com

    "Killer is the first network card designed specifically for online video gaming, and is packed with features that give Elite gamers the edge they need to win. Read below to see how Killer gives you an advantage when you game."

    Product Features:

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    MaxFPS™:
    Offloads network processing to the Killer’s NPU which frees your computer’s main processor to focus on running the game. By spending more of your CPU’s cycles focusing on the game, you will see increased frame rates.

    UltimatePing™:
    Allows the Killer NIC to offload the network stack from the CPU. This not only means your CPU has more cycles, but also that Killer can completely bypass Windows when delivering data to your games. Bypassing windows reduces your latency, minimizes the number of interrupts on your CPU, and gives you that split second advantage you need when you meet your nemesis in battle.

    FNA™ (Flexible Network Architecture):
    FNA is the infinite strength of Killer. Whether you want to write Flexible Network Applications (FNapps™) yourself or download them from KillerNIC.com, you will love the ability to run applications on the Killer’s NPU. Offloading applications is another way to allow your CPU to stay focused on making sure your game plays the way you like it.

    PingThrottle™: (WHAT THE ****?!- madduckuk)
    An elite gamer feature, PingThrottle allows gamers to restore the sense of fair play when there is a server proximity advantage. The gamer with the unfair advantage can dial the ping back up, so that they can win without worrying about being the LPB (low Ping bastard). Also, elite gamers can use this feature to handicap themselves for training purposes. This feature, if activated by the user, utilizes hardware to add in up to a maximum 40ms of Ping, and cannot be used to cheat in an online game.

    GameFirst™:
    Prioritizes your inbound and outbound network traffic so that your gaming packets are delivered first.


    im presuming this is a nice little money spinner for people looking to cash in on yank stupidity?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ephesians
    Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit
    Vodka

  2. #2
    WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MadduckUK's Avatar
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    Q:
    How much does the KillerNic cost?

    A:
    $279.99.


    oh dear god what the hell this is a joke right? its April 1st right?!?!
    Quote Originally Posted by Ephesians
    Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit
    Vodka

  3. #3
    Does he need a reason? Funkstar's Avatar
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    see here:
    http://gaming.hexus.net/content/item...arch=killernic

    i'm sure there was a Forum discussion thread, but can't find it now and there isn't a direct link on the Hexus press release page.

  4. #4
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    ive seen this before. I hope it is a joke and not a serious product, would anyone really buy this?!

  5. #5
    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    ping control!

    blimey......

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
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  6. #6
    WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MadduckUK's Avatar
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    yeah, you can now sabotage your own pings! thats worth 280 Dollarrrrz of anyones money!

    im mentioning this cause Tim over at ctrlaltdel-online is wondering how its will turn out.. the days headline title is "Killer, Dude. Killer" so parhaps hes just on smack at the moment.. meh
    Last edited by MadduckUK; 30-08-2006 at 07:20 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ephesians
    Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit
    Vodka

  7. #7
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    Wow - a NIC that does what an NIC should do!!!!

    Double Wow - downgrade your ping and get yourself kicked off of on-line games for slowing the server down!!!!

    I can't wait to get mine

  8. #8
    HEXUS webmaster Steve's Avatar
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    It's on my shortlist for "stupidest product of the year" along with "boldest marketing campaign"
    PHP Code:
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    Moderator chuckskull's Avatar
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    Doesn't the nforce 5 do all this anyway? Though if I pay tyhat much for a NIC, I will be expecting a ping of 5ms to every server on earth.

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    Impressive

    Would be interesting to see how much better it would make my 512kb connection

  11. #11
    HEXUS.social member Agent's Avatar
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    Id hit it......




    With a hammer
    Quote Originally Posted by Saracen View Post
    And by trying to force me to like small pants, they've alienated me.

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    well it has linux running on its processor which means you can have download progams running and not interferring with the cpu, and the packet optimisation is supposed to let you play games without any interference from said programs

    seems like a waste of time to set all that up but as its only going to be about £200 you may aswell buy it

  13. #13
    The King of Vague Steve B's Avatar
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    look whos popped up to say Value for money!!
    Last edited by Steve B; 31-08-2006 at 02:07 PM.

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    *checks URL*

    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

    ROFLMFAO @ the marketing spiel on that page.

  15. #15
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    This goes on my list of 'stuff i don't even vaguely need' along with PhysX
    System 001: Maximus VII Formula, 4790k i7, RTX 2080ti FE (incoming), 16GIG Corsair Vengence DDR3 RAM CL9, Corsair HX1000, ROG SWIFT PG278Q , SSDs, Antec 1200 case, All watercooled. [main]
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steve B
    look whos popped up to say Value for money!!

    Another reason to not get it

    mr wendle anoys me...he gets loads of companies to stick his gaming name on stuff and make it red then they charge double the price it should be...so glad I didn't buy into the gimick and got some decent gear that isn't red

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