p5b deluxe sound problems

Right, here is the problem, i am using the onboard sound and have a headset for if i'm playing and using comms or its late and i dont want to keep everyone awake by using the speakers, but also have the spdif out going in to my reciever for playing music and what not at the times im not using the headset.

the auto sensing thing on p5b deluxe pops up when i plug in the headphones part, and says i've put it in the wrong bit, and gives a diagram of where to plug it, it doesn't go in there either, infact it doesnt work in any of them, and i manage to get no sound. Or i get sound but then the spdif out bit seems to not work, or i get sound with no microphone, or if i plug my mic in to my speaker bit it magically sometimes works.

anyone know how to best configure this so that it will pick up my headset and my reciever, at the same time, so i can use either or.

It used to work on my external usb soundblaster just fine, so i could leave both plugged in and if i wanted to use the headset i would either not turn on my reciever or i would just pop the spdif cable out and leave the headphones in. I had this working the other day, and then it just stopped again, very annoying.