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Thread: Israel

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    Israel

    So the oldest story ever told keeps being re-told.

    In the beginning the Israelites smote many Arabs, and many wailed and gnashed their teeth.
    And it goes that the Israelites just carry on, and occupieth more of the promised land.
    The tribes of the world, apart from mighty Murrica, ask the Israelites to stop the smiting, and eventually, when enough little old ladies and children have suffered and gone unto Jesus, Israel closes the gates of Gaza and quiet comes to the greatest concentration camp in the world.
    Then a few good people complain about the smiting and say that Israel should talk about ‘peace’.
    The Israelites says that they are a peaceful nation, and want to talk peace, and then they build more colonies in the promised land, while waiting for the conditions to be right for peace.
    The wise men in Murrica then sayeth “We need both sides to stop this bad behavior, so that we can have serious peace talks. You Philistines stop throwing rocks and trying to smuggle food into Gaza, and you Israelites should slow down colonizing the promised land and agree to only smite philistines who look dangerous.”
    So the Israelites agree to meet the conditions and then they continue building in the promised land.
    And the great kings in Murrica send their annual gifts of milk and honey worth $6Bn to Israel as a reward.
    And the Israelites carry on building and smiting children “where necessary for their own security”.

    And so it continued, for many years.

    And then, one day, cameth to the land of Murrica a new king named Bar-ak. Everyone went ‘Ooooh’ because he seemedeth a different type of man to the clowns and hypocrites who had cometh before him.

    And he who is called Bar-ak went unto Israel and repeateth “Stoppeth thou the smiting and the building and we will remain friends and make peace on Earth.”

    And the Israelites listened and they quoth “In the spirit of best friends, Sod off!” and Bar-ak was sore wroth, but he could do nothing save gnash his teeth. However, Bar-ak was a patient man.

    And lo! it came to pass that a man named Bid-en, who sitteth at the right hand of Bar-ak, came into Israel. And the the king of the Israelites, who is called Netanyahu, greeted him and spat in his face, saying “How darest thou tell us whom to smite and where not to build our pleasure domes?”

    And Bar-ak was again sore wroth.

    However this time, Bar-ak pointed out to the mighty tribe of the Murricans that the puny tribe of Israelites, who sucketh their milk and honey, was pointing and laughing at them. And Bar-ak knew that the time was right, and he sayeth to the Israelites “You know that story of David and Goliath you guys liketh so much? Well, this is how it goeth in real life.”

    And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth among the Israelites.

    Alternative ending 1

    And thus it came to pass that peace descended upon the land of the Israelites and that of the Philistines.

    Alternative ending 2

    And Bar-ak and Netanyahu shook hands in front of the Cam-er-as, and the milk and honey continued to flow like before into the ever-increasing promised land, and more villas with swimming pools, Jehova parks and fruit farms were built in the promised land unto the wrath of the Philistines. And none heard the dying moans of the Philistines, starving to death in their concentration camps.


    I don't know really. I don't expect much from America. Hands off genocide doesn't seem to bother them much, but Obama does carry on surprising me. Just maybe he will get something out of this.

    (Thanks Evilmunky)
    Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet intakes.

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    Re: Israel

    Pardon my ignorance, but can you point or link to this response by Barak ? I find it hard to believe TBH.
    Society's to blame,
    Or possibly Atari.

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    hexus.zombeh! format's Avatar
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    Re: Israel

    Quote Originally Posted by Phage View Post
    Pardon my ignorance, but can you point or link to this response by Barak ? I find it hard to believe TBH.
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/mid...st/8567706.stm


    Not sure if that's what you mean.
    ~'Armaments, universal debt, and planned obsolescence--those are the three pillars of Western prosperity'~ Aldous Huxley




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    Re: Israel

    Nothing in that story. Israel ignores US. US huffs a little.
    Plus ca change...
    Society's to blame,
    Or possibly Atari.

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    Re: Israel

    Quote Originally Posted by Phage View Post
    Nothing in that story. Israel ignores US. US huffs a little.
    Plus ca change...
    I don't think so. Obama was handed a chance to spank Netanyahu, and will probably use it, especially in view of Bibi's 'Yeah, whatever' response.

    Israel has gone back to its usual policy of lying, knowing that Fox News will report the lies as truth, but Obama knows that building in East Jerusalem is illegal, and also that it will be done in order to tighten the stranglehold Israel keeps on the Arab residents of EJ. He is not stupid.

    (Thanks Evilmunky)
    Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet intakes.

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    Re: Israel

    What would happen if the 'milk and honey' stops flowing into Israel? Can they not stand by themselves?

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    Re: Israel

    Yes that's about right. But then, why? Why does Murrica suckle the Israelites at its teats, yea, even as they doth sorely smite the Philistines?

    The two reasons I know for this are:

    1. A great proportion of Murricans are dribbling idiots who literally believe that the state of Israel must be maintained until the second coming of Jebus, whereupon it will be destroyed in the final battle between good and evil (DA-DA-DAAAAAHH). And they vote goddammit, and perhaps even really like fighting a dirty war by proxy against the other semites, you know, the ones who they don't like letting onto airliners any more.

    2. The small number of jews (small compared to say, Mexicans living in the US, whose votes remain largely un-courted despite their general disinterest in starting World War III) who fled Europe have amassed disproportionate wealth, political power and collegiate votes in Florida. The repubicans and democrats both regard the tacit support and direct funding of israel's crimes necessary to win this demographic's votes, rightly or wrongly.


    But really, is that it? This is the reason for about 70% of the conflict in the world, and about 99% of the conflict the developed world is involved in (percentages are admittedly ex rectum)? Or is there a good reason for any of it?

    I'm pretty disappointed that in the 21st century so much human endeavour and industry is still devoted to ascertaining whose imaginary sky-fairy is best, through the medium of explosives. At least if it were a struggle for dwindling resources I'd understand, but the land in question is a barely habitable desert with absolutely nothing to commend it (except some magic ruins of various denominations, I suppose)
    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand Russell

    The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

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    Re: Israel

    The dwindling resources are next decade. Oil, then water.
    Society's to blame,
    Or possibly Atari.

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    Re: Israel

    Quote Originally Posted by JPreston View Post
    ....the land in question is a barely habitable desert with absolutely nothing to commend it (except some magic ruins of various denominations, I suppose)
    The real issue is the magic ruins where the sky fairies used to live, which is bizarre in this day and age.

    The problem is exacerbated by the fact that an israeli uses around 5 times as much water as a Palestinian, and water is short. In fact it is short because the Israeli government badly mismanaged their most necessary resource.

    Still, there is no doubt that the power of the Settlers is the main factor in this expansion, and they are a bunch of loonies.

    One might expect that Obama, like all who came before him, would batter his head against this for a while and then give up, but for one other issue; the US Army.

    The US forces do not like losing men, and they think that Israel's behaviour will make that more likely.Petraeus briefing

    Quote Originally Posted by Foreign Policy
    ...no one was more outraged than Biden who, according to the Israeli daily Yedioth Ahronoth, engaged in a private, and angry, exchange with the Israeli Prime Minister. Not surprisingly, what Biden told Netanyahu reflected the importance the administration attached to Petraeus's Mullen briefing: "This is starting to get dangerous for us," Biden reportedly told Netanyahu. "What you're doing here undermines the security of our troops who are fighting in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan. That endangers us and it endangers regional peace." Yedioth Ahronoth went on to report: "The vice president told his Israeli hosts that since many people in the Muslim world perceived a connection between Israel's actions and US policy, any decision about construction that undermines Palestinian rights in East Jerusalem could have an impact on the personal safety of American troops fighting against Islamic terrorism." The message couldn't be plainer: Israel's intransigence could cost American lives.
    I hope that this concern for American lives will be enough to allow Obama to move against Israel, and risk outraging the sky-fairy fans, but even if not, it has outraged the EU Foreign Policy supremo.

    (Thanks Evilmunky)
    Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet intakes.

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    Re: Israel

    Quote Originally Posted by JPreston View Post

    2. The small number of jews (small compared to say, Mexicans living in the US, whose votes remain largely un-courted despite their general disinterest in starting World War III) who fled Europe have amassed disproportionate wealth, political power and collegiate votes in Florida.

    yeah damn those Jews for amassing wealth. frankly your comments are borderline anti-semitic in parts. There are many reasons why America supports Israel, the influential Jewish community in the US is a major reason, other reasons include the sides each took in the Cold War, the fact that Israel is a democracy, the 'guilt' factor over the holocaust.

    Israel's building on the West Bank is illegal and should stop. But pushing the Israelis into a corner in the open press will not work because Israel as a nation have a siege mentality (understandable considering all their neighbours want to kill them, along with the centuries long abuses they have suffered). This mentality needs to change because otherwise Israelis are worried that losing the West Bank will leave them strategically vulnerable (similar to the Golan Heights, although in addition the Golan Heights are a vital source of water to Israel)

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    Re: Israel

    Quote Originally Posted by YorkieBen View Post
    frankly your comments are borderline anti-semitic in parts.
    and the bloody stupid post of the week goes to.......drum roll please....

    Go on, show us all exactly which part of the statement was anti-semitic. Sorry, 'borderline' anti-semitic. Maybe you'd like the use the word 'nazi' in there too. Go on, you do, don't you?

    Here's an infographic. Nice and easy to understand.

    http://www.good.is/post/transparency...est-religions/

    Just try to remember, what with all that holocaust guilt and all, that you don't mistake valid criticism for anti-semitism. Lots of people do it. You should try not to be one of them.
    sig removed by Zak33

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    Re: Israel

    throw new ArgumentException (String, String, Exception)

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    Re: Israel

    Quote Originally Posted by YorkieBen View Post
    yeah damn those Jews for amassing wealth. frankly your comments are borderline anti-semitic in parts. There are many reasons why America supports Israel, the influential Jewish community in the US is a major reason, other reasons include the sides each took in the Cold War, the fact that Israel is a democracy, the 'guilt' factor over the holocaust.

    Israel's building on the West Bank is illegal and should stop. But pushing the Israelis into a corner in the open press will not work because Israel as a nation have a siege mentality (understandable considering all their neighbours want to kill them, along with the centuries long abuses they have suffered). This mentality needs to change because otherwise Israelis are worried that losing the West Bank will leave them strategically vulnerable (similar to the Golan Heights, although in addition the Golan Heights are a vital source of water to Israel)

    Uh, crap sorry I did not mean to thank this
    ~'Armaments, universal debt, and planned obsolescence--those are the three pillars of Western prosperity'~ Aldous Huxley




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    Re: Israel

    Quote Originally Posted by Brucelles View Post



    I hope that this concern for American lives will be enough to allow Obama to move against Israel, and risk outraging the sky-fairy fans, but even if not, it has outraged the EU Foreign Policy supremo.
    That will never happen.

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    Re: Israel

    Isreal = Nukes

    Anyone with nukes, does not have anyone go against them in a violent way.

    So, they can basically do what they want, and they know it.

    Thank the USA for that.

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    Re: Israel

    Having been regaled on a daily basis by a Muslim colleague about how terrible Israel are, and the woes of the poor innocent Muslims, I decided to do a little background reading into the situation. Going way back, it seems that the Jews have had roots in that area since before Islam was even born, and that in the latest round of conflict, post WW2, it was the Arab world that fired the first shots and initiated aggression.

    Going purely on the facts, and having no real pre-leaning towards either side, I am of the opinion that Israel is in the stronger moral position, and if I had to choose a side to favour, it would be them.

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