Right, having measured my mum's garage, I'm going to go with the CF475 and dip bars, though I'll order by phone so I can arrange delivery when I can actually be round my mum's to collect.
I might pop to the Tesco Extra near the garage where I'm working tomorrow to see if they do any 2" hole plates as OiD suggests. While I'm there I'll try and avoid the temptation of a Technika Blu-Ray player for £70.
Then I might go to Sainsburys and fill my freezer with Basics beef mince- 97p for 400g, ~20% fat, 20% protein so all in 80g of protein and ~1000 calories for 97p. A pack of that a day on top of what I normally eat should convince my body I'm serious about it.