Getting back into exercise after starting a family?

[Galant]

As is regularly confessed, I need to get back into shape. Although to look at me I don't look horribly fat, I know I'm in the worst shape of my life, and heavier than I've ever been. Looks-wise I'm fortunate that I come from a family who don't pack on the pounds in a visible way, but I know enough to know that that isn't what counts. I'm 33 and have already started to see the effects of gaining excess weight and losing fitness.

With two young kids and the whole of life in front of me, I want to get back into shape, and I see no reason why it shouldn't be the best shape of my life.

I used to be fairly fit, running, playing, basketball, snorkeling, scuba, fencing, climbing, hiking and a few other bits and pieces. In the last few years I've moved around quite a bit and lost all normal routine. I've also moved into a job where I'm behind a desk all day, and quite frankly, I've started eating more and exercising less.

Obviously, the answer is exercise more and eat less. Fair enough. The problem is that a lot of days I get home quite late from work. By the time I've spent some time with the kids and wife and had dinner and put the kids to bed it'd usually at least 21:30, often later. It doesn't leave a lot of time later on and so I've struggled setting up a routine.

I know that what I need isn't just some odd activity but shift of lifestyle incorporating something in on a permanent basis. The mornings might be my best bet, although that will also mean shifting things around, since when I get home late, I tend to stay up later as I wind-down.

This isn't meant to be a pity-party. I've just struggled for a while now with establishing exercise as part of my life when previously it just seemed to happen; now it just seems to not happen!

Does anyone have an advice or tips on how to incorporate exercise back into life, especially with a family, how you've done it, maybe how to get over the initial hill of making habit, or just some recommendations for exercises/sports?

I live in Gibraltar so there are a lot of facilities around. My main constraint just seems to be time. I tend to work 9-6:30 or 7. The main concern with that is that I feel like I see my family little enough already when I get home late, so more time outside the home for exercise cuts into family time even further.

I should also mention I've been battling what I think is a bit of plantar fasciitis the last few weeks (doctor's appointment in about a week) so high impact stuff like running and basketball are out of the question right now. I'm pretty sure my current condition lead to this.
I don't have a bicycle, but I've been thinking of getting one when I can get a few pennies together.

Thanks for listening! Any thoughts?

[kalniel]

For me, it's a trade off between motivation and convenience. In a vaguely similar situation, I find the gym the best solution for my various sporting related injuries and the only way I can get good exercise without high impact stuff. If I had access to a pool that would be even better. The problem with both of these is motivation is much harder than sports (for me). Even with a regular schedule I try and find excuses to avoid going, even if afterwards I've always enjoyed it and it feels great

You've identified a problem with evenings, and I'd back that up and say you're going to find motivation even harder at the end of the day. Can you get away at lunch time, or even coffee time? Failing that mornings are your best bet. 20 minutes a day is enough to make a huge difference in calorie burning, as long as you don't compensate for it by eating more (and even then, the health benefits are good).

[ConnorLowe]

I don't have a family as I'm only 19 but I can relate to one thing, working behind a desk and eating more and exercising less. I played football since I was 5 for my local team and then took a year or two out because I have tendonitis. I started playing again now and I've realised how unfit I've become and how much weight I've put on.

I've basically started off slow and tried to incorporate more things as I go.

I've found that simple things like just drinking water and simple exercising can really help. I do go to the gym every now and again but for the last month or so I haven't been able to as I've been too busy to go.

My advice would be to simply drink plenty of water (few liters a day) to help flush any crap out of your body, do between 30-50 sit ups regularly and go for a jog two or three times a week if you can (I understand from your post that this may be difficult, so even a walk can suffice). Also, try to maintain a regular sleep pattern

Food wise, just cut the crap

Considering that what I've said above is pretty routine, it works. My girlfriend randomly said that I've lost weight last night, so its going alright!

[silentphoenix]

... just drinking water ...
... Food wise, just cut the crap ...
... maintain a regular sleep pattern ...

I know it sounds obvious, but these are excellent ways to start. Also, not having junk food or sugary drinks in the house helps (although it may not work so well with kids around).

I am stuck working at a computer all day and noticed that after my degree I put of 5kg and after my PhD I put on 10kg! The biggest problem I had was motivation and acknowledging I am no longer strong or fast and need to start from scratch. The other hard thing is that getting stronger doesn't always reduce the bulge - so a mix of cardio and strength is ideal.

In terms of strength straining, there's a ton of stuff you can do at home - pressups, situps, lunges, squants, chinups (with a cheap chinup bar), tricep dips. I rotate between circuit like training, and more focussed training. I normally do about 30 minutes everyday first thing in the morning.

As for cardio, it's difficult to suggest anything if impact sports are an issue. I would have suggested getting a bike or maybe swimming. I find cardio the most difficult as I get very bored with long repetitive things (i find jogging really boring), so much prefer sports, mainly football. I used to play twice a week, but this has been reduced to once because of workload.

They key things is to keep motivated, establish routine and not over doing it. When I started re-training I couldn't do more than 5 pressups - 3 weeks later I was up to 50 every morning and evening!

[Galant]

Thanks guys.

I'm hoping the foot issue will be over quite quickly. I know p.f. can be quite stubborn, but I've noticed certain patterns, so I'm trying to avoid aggravating it.

Over the weekend the family had a chance to get out to the beach. Nice day, waves were up a bit but not so bad you couldn't swim so I jumped in went for a paddle. That was quite some exercise! I'll see if I can't get in for a swim like that regularly while the summer lasts.

I'm not much of a gym-goer. Too expensive for something I don't enjoy. Much prefer exercise at home.

Circuit training is a definite and likely option. Any recommendations on routines/circuits? Favourite exercises, combinations or whatever? I have some dumbbells that I can throw into the mix.

I just need to kick that motivation in somehow, find a way to enjoy it again. It's definitely the mental game that's hardest.

[kalniel]

It's definitely the mental game that's hardest.

That's where paying for a gym subscription helps - you've paid so you feel you ought to get your monies worth. Also you should get access to an instructor who can help - motivation must be the commonest problem they deal with.

[Galant]

In the past I found that not even the subscription helped. So then it was money wasted. Just don't tend to like gyms. If it's quiet it's alright, but when busy I tend to feel a bit pressured to move fast so others can use the machine. The best experience I had was when I went with a friend regularly, but I've no-one interested right now.

[jimbouk]

By the time I've spent some time with the kids and wife and had dinner and put the kids to bed it'd usually at least 21:30, often later. It doesn't leave a lot of time later on and so I've struggled setting up a routine.

Can you involve them? A couple of bikes with child seats / tow-alongs. Swimming where you and the wife take it in turns to do proper swimming or splashing around. Or even just walking with / carrying them (depending on the age).

Try and make it a fun time with everyone involved a couple of times a week, then it can evolve as they grow up and you all get fitter but stay as a routine.

[fuddam]

I hear you, Sir Galant, and will give you my two pennies



1) find someone to exercise with. VERY important. On your own tends to fade for most people after the initial enthusiasm

2) start doing it (whatever it is) once a week, regular as clockwork. My group has 8pm Monday evenings, 52 weeks a year, carved in stone.

That amount of time isn't too much to get in the way of family, or to become a burden, but something to look forward to during the week. Also facilitates regular attendance from your friends. Your spouse should do likewise if she doesn't already - maybe on another night of the week. Fitness is as important as anything else on your calendar, not optional. You have to look after the temple.... PLUS you now have to set an example for you kids. Seriously.

3) do something you enjoy, that gives you freedom

4) preferably that gets you outdoors. Nature will inspire and challenge you in equal measure, rather than simply being in a room.

Once you've built it up to be that regular thing, maybe add another session during the week. This doesn't have to be with your friends, since harder to schedule multiple weekly events, but will improve your progress/fitness.

We started doing a 6am-8am run or bike every Saturday early, in addition to the Monday. Back in time for family, short enough to not impact the weekend, but longer than Mondays, to improve endurance.

Now my group often trains another 6-7am twice a week, before work, doing intense interval stuff. You have no shortage of heights where you live, to do hill training whether on bike or foot. We do one on bike, one on foot. This is in prep for a race, not normal stuff.

5) GET A GOAL. Enter a race of some kind. It creates focus, motivation (esp when not in the mood), and adds an element of excitement as the goal approaches.

My goals tend to be formal events (adventure races, ultra runs), or self-made challenges. Last weekend, 3 teammates and I did a 13hr session on mountain bikes and kayaks, starting at 9pm, finishing midday Saturday. The timing is good since it impacts family less (middle of the night), have Sunday to recover for work on Monday, and is something we do about once a month when training for a big race. Obviously it's not the norm, but that's how 4 family men make it work.

If I lived in Gibraltar (visited there last year), I'd be kayaking regularly, open water swimming, rock climbing, running, and maybe some biking up and down the peak.

I'll send you some other info in a PM

[Galant]

Can you involve them? A couple of bikes with child seats / tow-alongs. Swimming where you and the wife take it in turns to do proper swimming or splashing around. Or even just walking with / carrying them (depending on the age).

Try and make it a fun time with everyone involved a couple of times a week, then it can evolve as they grow up and you all get fitter but stay as a routine.

This is definitely a good idea. When at the beach this weekend I got a chance to do some proper swimming. I like the idea of bicycles except for two things - we don't have any bikes at the moment, and my youngest is 5 months old so a bit young. Not so keen on the safety aspect either because Gibraltar's roads are all quite busy and heading into Spain has it's issues right now with the border.

I think maybe a regular time to go for a walk as a family would be great.

As for me though, it won't be intense enough. So I'll still have to do my own exercise. The family activity will be great on an off day though.

[Galant]

Cheers Fuddam. Some good stuff there.

Starting from the bottom - I'd love to Kayak but don't have the gear. Open water swimming was great this weekend so I'm looking to start that. Rock climbing on the Rock itself is prohibited, there is a small rock wall here though so I'll enquire about that. Running is out until my foot recovers. Biking, as before, no bicycles at the moment.

I love to snorkel but it's pretty low intensity. I could use it as an alternate to swimming though, to mix it up, if I keep my focus on the exercise side. Dive down, back up, cover distance at speed with the fins on.

I have one friend who is interested in doing something. We looked at basketball but my foot limits it. I'll see if climbing or swimming might grab his attention.

I'd thought about setting a goal. Races don't inspire me much. Need to find something else.

Our local church was looking to start a sort of scouts group some time and needed leaders for that. So prepping to participate there might work.

Maybe some swimming distances might also work for a goal.

Strength-wise maybe some number goals like push-ups, pull-ups etc. might work. And I think I have an old bleep-test recording lying around somewhere, once my foot is sorted.

Cheers!

[Zak33]

That's where paying for a gym subscription helps - you've paid so you feel you ought to get your monies worth. Also you should get access to an instructor who can help - motivation must be the commonest problem they deal with.

I'm the opposite of this... it's because I don't pay... that I do it. I'f I'd paid I'd feel BAD about not going when I can't and that would weigh on me... I run now because I want too.

I've made good enough progress now with running that I know I can do a realtively fast 1.5miles and therefore I want to simply beat my last speed. I can just about hold 7mph average for 1.5 miles now .. and it makes me pleased

[kalniel]

Yeah I would so LOVE to run. Used to love cross country in the dales. Now my knees are shot and I can't

[feeder1980]

yes right absolutely i am agree with you mr. kalniel

[mikolaj87]

Yeah I would so LOVE to run. Used to love cross country in the dales. Now my knees are shot and I can't

I have knees problems to and I must say that after using cross trainer for a while my joints condition improved and now if I mix my workout I can run every other day. That might be worth investigating unless your knees are seriously damaged than I'm sorry m8.

[kalniel]

I have knees problems to and I must say that after using cross trainer for a while my joints condition improved and now if I mix my workout I can run every other day. That might be worth investigating unless your knees are seriously damaged than I'm sorry m8.

I've been using a cross trainer and various other knee-surrounding muscles strengthening stuff for over a year - mild improvement but not enough to run any distance unfortunately