Subject: Smart thinking when trouble lurks
> >
> > An old lady gets pulled over for speeding...
> > Old Lady: Is there a problem, Officer?
> > Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
> > Old Lady: Oh, I see.
> > Officer: Can I see your license please?
> > Old Lady: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
> > Officer: Don't have one?
> > Old Lady: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
> > Officer: I see ... Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?
> > Old Lady: I can't do that.
> > Officer: Why not?
> > Old Lady: I stole this car.
> > Officer: Stole it?
> > Old Lady: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
> > Officer: You what?
> > Old Lady: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
> > to see.
> > The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
> > calls for back up.
> > Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
> > A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn
> > gun.
> > Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
> > The woman steps out of her vehicle.
> > Old Lady: Is there a problem sir?
> > Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car
> > and murdered the owner.
> > Old Lady: Murdered the owner?
> > Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
> > The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
> > Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
> > Old Lady: Yes, here are the registration papers.
> > The officer is quite stunned.
> > Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
> > license.
> > The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands
> > it to the officer.
> > The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
> > Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have
> > a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and
> > hacked up the owner.
> > Old Lady: Bet the lying bugger told you I was speeding, too