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Thread: American people annoyed by internet...

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    A Straw? And Fruit? Bazzlad's Avatar
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    American people annoyed by internet...

    AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS
    INTERNATIONAL ****" ON INTERNET
    Web's Increasingly Worldly Flavor Threatens Americans' Worldview

    PULLMAN, WASH. (SatireWire.com) — The profusion of international news available on the Internet has made it increasingly difficult for the average American to ignore the rest of the world, a trend researchers say threatens Americans' long, proud history of disregarding anything not about them.

    "With all the foreign newspapers and multi-cultural sites, the Internet is making it almost impossible for the average American to remain uninformed and apathetic," said Samantha Lessborn of Washington State University, which conducted the survey. "Americans can still do it. But it now takes effort, whereas before it was as easy as turning off Tom Brokaw whenever he said 'In South Korea today...'"

    According to survey participant Danny Grisham, a 22-year-old from Cheyenne, Wyoming, it's not just the plethora of international news on the Web that is irritating. "Look, I can get around the news. I just turn off Reuters headlines in MyYahoo," he said. "But even some of the search sites like Yahoo and Alta Vista are available in different languages. Like everybody in the world doesn't speak English. Yeah, right."

    "I can see where it's important if we're, like, beating some country in the Olympics or bombing them or, ideally, both," Grisham added. "But if some Colombian drug lord sinks a ferry full of Israeli soldiers in North Latvoania or Serbo-Malaysia, or wherever, and Americans aren't involved, what has that got to do with me?"

    Other respondents said they were appalled, not just by the availability of non-U.S. news, but by the way important U.S. news is reported by some of these foreign sites. "Yesterday, for instance, the St. Louis Rams beat the Atlanta Falcons, OK, and I go to the London Times site and it's not even there," said Chip Pernadge of Kansas City, Mo. "Jesus, no wonder those guys lost the war and had to give Hong Kong back to Canada."

    Sensing a market opportunity, Net Nanny, makers of Net Nanny filtering software, announced this week it will introduce NetNarrow, an English-only product that automatically filters out content that appears to be international. Specifically, the software looks for world datelines and keywords indicative of irrelevant foreign stories, including "Shiite," "post-Apartheid," and "Bob Geldof."

    Survey-taker Craig Barker of Brooklyn, New York, said he will be among the first to get NetNarrow. "On the Web, there are so many ways to get news from so many different places, I could really get some fresh insights into what's going on in other countries if I wanted to," he said.. "But I don't want to."

    "You'd think these Internet people would know that," Barker added. "I mean, that's why the Internet is called America Online, right? It's supposed to be about America."

    Source: http://www.satirewire.com/news/0010/international.shtml

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    Editor's Note: It seems that after reading this entirely fictional story, some investors/customers of Net Nanny believed the company actually was going to produce NetNarrow software. As a result, Net Nanny asked SatireWire to please assure people that this is not the case. No, really.
    Copyright © 2000-2001, SatireWire.

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    Ғо ѕніzzLє му піzzLє chicken's Avatar
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    Excellent The AOL ending is the cherry on the cake!
    1.21 GIGAWATTS!!!!!

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    Squirrely tigerboyce's Avatar
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    ha ha yeh that AOL bit is very funny

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    WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MadduckUK's Avatar
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    yes its satire but i reckon its not too far off the truth
    Quote Originally Posted by Ephesians
    Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit
    Vodka

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    A Straw? And Fruit? Bazzlad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadduckUK View Post
    yes its satire but i reckon its not too far off the truth
    Mass stereotype.

    How much international news do you think these fine upstanding young brits read?


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    WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MadduckUK's Avatar
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    if they cant read the news then they cant form opinions, so they probably just think the US is where there fave "musicians" come from
    Quote Originally Posted by Ephesians
    Do not be drunk with wine, which will ruin you, but be filled with the Spirit
    Vodka

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    HEXUS.social member 99Flake's Avatar
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    I thought the America WAS the world? How dare these new fangled Europeans have news!

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    Squirrely tigerboyce's Avatar
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    init

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    Senior Member JPreston's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bazzlad View Post
    Mass stereotype.
    So, why'd you post it?
    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand Russell

    The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

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    awm
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    Sadly true, except Americans don't really care that much about US news either. How do you think we manage to get such incompetence in Washington? Easy, we care more about Paris Hilton than who our elected leaders are.

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    True same goes for us or almost any other country, if one is going to be cynical about it all.
    Deo Adjuvante non Timendum

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    awm
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    To different degrees though. Americans are notoriously clueless about all things non-Hollywood. I see your point though and I'm sure I'd grumble about my fellow citizens being clueless no matter which country I live in.

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    Senior Member JPreston's Avatar
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    Speaking of ignorant americans:

    "On what date did the 9/11 attacks take place?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand Russell

    The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

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    A Straw? And Fruit? Bazzlad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JPreston View Post
    So, why'd you post it?
    ---------------

    sat·ire (sāt'īr') Pronunciation Key
    n.

    1. A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.

    ----------------

    More taking the mickey out of people's thoughts of Americans - as a constant visitor (unless you live there I'm there more than you) I can tell you it's 100% not true.

    Just like I don't wear a bowler hat. Or have manky teeth.

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    Banhammer in peace PeterB kalniel's Avatar
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    It depends where you go and who you meet. As a visitor it's quite likely you are visiting places that are used to, well, visitors

    I worked in the states for 6 months, which wasn't a huge length of time, but I saw a wide variety, even though it was a very technological and relatively multicultural San Diego. The scientists were very internationally aware - most of them were 'aliens' after all. But the 'normal' americans that I met through where I was living rather than where I worked.. I'm afraid they really were fairly stereotypical.

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