My inane rant about internet spades

[acrobat]

I joined a game ....expecting it to be simple

I had no idea....click on an 8....and then left as I had noidea what was going on.

So...I ask you....was it the millions like me who just read your thread and thought "Internet SPades"

and looked in Start>All Programs>Games and thought.."Ah....I see..lets try"

Sorry bud...but I did it

haha!! No worries It defaults to beginner mode so its to be expected on that level really. But on the later levels it shouldn't be as common (but usually is). If you did want to play it though, load it up again and click on the help button. The instructions take about 1 minute to read and are dead simple. And that will be enough to get you started. Although beyond that, you have to learn the secrets of the game yourself. But like I said earlier, unless you struggle to understand how a pair of socks work, you will be great at it in no time, and 10 times better than 95% of the people you play =)

P.S. If you do give it a shot and end up hooked, come back and let me know!

[behr]

OMG I was just playing and I did a google search for "Internet Spades Idiots" and found your rant. Perfect, man. I mean I LOVE Spades, it's a great game but there are a bunch of Jack&(!!S&* on there that make it lousy. First, the people who get on and bid double nil then see they have the Ace o' Spades so they drop. Then the people who don't make their bid on the first hand so then they drop. Or they bid 0 and as soon as they take a trick they drop. The most frustrating part for me is the chat options. you can select "Thanks Partner", "nice nil", "good game", "play again" and other inane choices bits, but I really wish you could select "Nice Double nil bid, are you going to drop the game and go cry to mommy if you take a trick?" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your nethers."
I have had my partner dump the game on me because they failed their nil or double nil bid or because we were 200+ points behind but then I made a comeback with the AI as my partner. Countless times.

I just wish there were some better system that wouldn't allow people to dump so quick. You're at work, you say? Okay, well how about a four tier system, beginner, intermediate, expert and Elite. If you win 40% of your games at beginner level (minimum 20 games) then you qualify for intermediate. Every time you start a new game or otherwise quit it counts as a loss. To move up to expert, same rules. To get to Elite you have to win 50% or more of your games at expert level, with a minimum of 100 games played at expert. This would eliminate beginners who know nothing from the upper echelons and also the people who know how to play but refuse to play crap hands. If someone is at work and has to dump one or two, then they should consider either having a separate account to log on at work that will be stuck at beginner level.

The crap hand thing is especially annoying when you have a great hand. Thing is, you have AKQJ8432 of spades and you know the other three are looking at their hands and saying "this is crap" so you think "uh oh.... they're going to drop". I would say about one game out of every dozen is worth it.

[Funkstar]

That might be a year and a half bump. But at least you put the effort in and gave us a decent post behr.

Welcome to Hexus

[acrobat]

Hahaha I forgot about this thread I did the same thing too by the way, I tried to search for Internet Spades discussions and found none, so that's why I made this thread.

OMG I was just playing and I did a google search for "Internet Spades Idiots" and found your rant. Perfect, man. I mean I LOVE Spades, it's a great game but there are a bunch of Jack&(!!S&* on there that make it lousy. First, the people who get on and bid double nil then see they have the Ace o' Spades so they drop. Then the people who don't make their bid on the first hand so then they drop. Or they bid 0 and as soon as they take a trick they drop.

Yeah, it's really annoying. It's probably even worse now than it was when I first made this thread too. I find that 45% of the games end instantly so don't even start. Then about 45% of other games end within the first round or so. So yeah, it's probably only about 1 in 10 games that actually go somewhere.

Also, because of this, it's become catch22, because I find that people are so disheartened by it all, that they all expect the game to fail. So if someone takes more than 0.1 millisecond to bid on the first hand, you get people leaving because they assume that person is slow or isn't there or whatever.

The most frustrating part for me is the chat options. you can select "Thanks Partner", "nice nil", "good game", "play again" and other inane choices bits, but I really wish you could select "Nice Double nil bid, are you going to drop the game and go cry to mommy if you take a trick?" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your nethers."

Hahaha I think about that every time I play. You can do stuff like "Thanks Partner" and then do a sad face, but it's a pity you can't just call them all bloody idiots and tell them to go back to beginner level

I have had my partner dump the game on me because they failed their nil or double nil bid or because we were 200+ points behind but then I made a comeback with the AI as my partner. Countless times.

Yep, countless times indeed. In fact, what's worse... is that I've had my partner dump the game because they THINK they screwed up and its going to be loss, and they quit before the damn round even finishes. They don't think about the fact that I can cover them. It's just either people who don't really know how the game works, or it's just complete idiots. Like if someone bids 1 because they have an ace of hearts for example, so they play it, and unexpectedly someone on the other team has no hearts so they spade it.... the stupid partner leaves because they think they failed, and yet all I need to do to cover them is take 1 extra card, which is easy most of the time.

I just wish there were some better system that wouldn't allow people to dump so quick.

You should do the MSN Gaming Zone games. You know how there is an option that says, "I'm going to play Spades at MSN Zone" or something like that? Well I googled "Zone Spades" and you get the page. You have to log in with a hotmail account and it remembers you and your stats. You then have various different types of spades games you can play with slightly different rules. One of them is basically exactly the same as the one we're talking about, only it has fancy animations and sound effects and stuff.

The way it works is that every player has 10 seconds to make their moves. So when the game starts, you see a countdown timer while you are making your bid. It's great because it has a much better class of player. Everyone watches the bids before they make their own bid, as it should be. Then when people are playing, they play quickly but they do have 10 seconds to think if they need to which is plenty. Best of all, if someone gets distracted or something, it waits for the 10 seconds to finish and then the AI plays that turn for them. If the AI has to play for them 3 times in a row, it boots the player from the game, and their ranking gets worse because it's marked as a loss.

You find that people treat the game with a lot more respect because they care about their ranking. There is a proper ranking system so if you keep winning, your rank improves. That's a big motivator to me at least, because the reward is that you get matched up with other higher rank players, so you get better partners and better challengers.

The only issue I have with it, is that it takes longer to do. I use FireFox and because its a microsoft game on the MSN site, it only works in IE. So first I have to load IE, then I have to load up the MSN Gaming Zone page, then I have to log in to my hotmail account, then I have to navigate to the game I want, and then it usually takes a while to find players for the game, and then when you finally reach the game, the game itself is a bit slower because it's all animated and people tend to think about their moves a bit more. So it's good but you really have to dedicate like half an hour or something to play it, unlike the one in XP which you can be playing after just a few double clicks and then you can sometimes whiz through a game in no time. Recently though I find that I spend so much time on failed games in the stupid version, that you are better off just going straight to the MSN Gaming Zone one instead because it works out quicker overall.

p.s. Also, you can type to the other players So if your partner is a complete idiot, you can tell them I find that people get in to big flaming matches though, so usually I just try to explain to them what they did wrong and then hope for the best. Sometimes they appreciate the tip, sometimes they don't Overall though it's just better players so whereas the other one only had a good game about 10% of the time, the Zone version only has a bad game about 10% of the time.

[Harry-p]

Hi Acrobat, Don't know if you still access this thread but I had the most amazing game today. The 4 players stayed almost to the very end and were all players of some merit.

The game lasted for 19 hands. This must be a record. The score fluctuated back and forth with double nil gambles being taken some won and some lost. In game 13 it was gold 353 and blue 325 when the decisive gamble was taken. Blue went double nil last call with 12 tricks accounted for. A fair gamble, his partner had overcalled however and double nil took the last trick with the 8 of hearts.

My partner and I were both short suited and were able to dump trumps early and bring down both contracts. they were down 280 points. it wasn't over though because we then lost a nil and got a 10 bag the very next hand.

Blue lost the plot though from that point as it ended Gold 531 and Blue -189. Remarkable game

I love the Internet spades although I wish you could set up your own area and invite players in that you know.

One particular game I would like to be able to access online is a game we call Solo Whist over here in England. Do you know it? Calls are Solo, 5 tricks, Mizere, 0 tricks, Abundance, 9 tricks (name your own trumps) Mizere Ouvert, 0 tricks (played with hand layed in front of you after the first round hence Ouvert-open) and Abundance Declared, all 13 tricks (No trumps, own lead) There is also a prop and cop call but it is so rarely used it has fallen out of the laws.

[Phage]

Sounds like what we used to call 500

[g8ina]

I regularly rant over the same problem in Scrabble in FB, I play a decent word and they resign....

[Salazaar]

The game lasted for 19 hands. This must be a record. The score fluctuated back and forth with double nil gambles being taken some won and some lost. In game 13 it was gold 353 and blue 325 when the decisive gamble was taken. Blue went double nil last call with 12 tricks accounted for. A fair gamble, his partner had overcalled however and double nil took the last trick with the 8 of hearts.

My partner and I were both short suited and were able to dump trumps early and bring down both contracts. they were down 280 points. it wasn't over though because we then lost a nil and got a 10 bag the very next hand.

Blue lost the plot though from that point as it ended Gold 531 and Blue -189. Remarkable game

I love the Internet spades although I wish you could set up your own area and invite players in that you know.

One particular game I would like to be able to access online is a game we call Solo Whist over here in England. Do you know it? Calls are Solo, 5 tricks, Mizere, 0 tricks, Abundance, 9 tricks (name your own trumps) Mizere Ouvert, 0 tricks (played with hand layed in front of you after the first round hence Ouvert-open) and Abundance Declared, all 13 tricks (No trumps, own lead) There is also a prop and cop call but it is so rarely used it has fallen out of the laws.

I like Uno...

Sorry

[finlay666]

tl;dr

[acrobat]

Hi Acrobat, Don't know if you still access this thread but I had the most amazing game today. The 4 players stayed almost to the very end and were all players of some merit.

The game lasted for 19 hands. This must be a record. The score fluctuated back and forth with double nil gambles being taken some won and some lost. In game 13 it was gold 353 and blue 325 when the decisive gamble was taken. Blue went double nil last call with 12 tricks accounted for. A fair gamble, his partner had overcalled however and double nil took the last trick with the 8 of hearts.

My partner and I were both short suited and were able to dump trumps early and bring down both contracts. they were down 280 points. it wasn't over though because we then lost a nil and got a 10 bag the very next hand.

Blue lost the plot though from that point as it ended Gold 531 and Blue -189. Remarkable game

I love the Internet spades although I wish you could set up your own area and invite players in that you know.

One particular game I would like to be able to access online is a game we call Solo Whist over here in England. Do you know it? Calls are Solo, 5 tricks, Mizere, 0 tricks, Abundance, 9 tricks (name your own trumps) Mizere Ouvert, 0 tricks (played with hand layed in front of you after the first round hence Ouvert-open) and Abundance Declared, all 13 tricks (No trumps, own lead) There is also a prop and cop call but it is so rarely used it has fallen out of the laws.

Wow blast from the past reading all this Yeah there are still occasionally some great games on there. It's probably only one in every 10 or 20 games lol, but at least it happens sometimes. And yeah as you and behr mentioned above, it can change drastically. That's why it's so silly people quitting on the first hand. You can be miles ahead, but then hit 10 bags and lose 100 points, and then get really unlucky and just miss a nil and that's down another 100 points... Before you know it, the other team have destroyed you. Or vice versa.

I also find that sometimes, it's totally based on luck of the draw. You sometimes get very strictly defined cards that you really can't do anything with. For example if you have an Ace of Spades and then a big bunch of low cards... then there is no real choice. You can play like a genius, or like a moron, and it would make no difference. You can't bid a nil because of the Ace, and you can't bid more than a one, because you just wont make it. So some games are very strange because sometimes both you and your partner get hand after hand like that, and you go through most of the game making about 20 points per round and the opponents are easily taking 50 or 60. Sometimes you'll get a lucky break near the end and they will have a disaster and you'll catch up, but occasionally it just goes all the way to anticlimatic ending and you lose without ever really having any chance to win, no matter how well you played. It's just another thing which makes the game interesting though.

I rarely play it though these days. There is one a version of it on MSN gaming zone, which is a proper flash version and is a lot better. Not sure if I mentioned it in this thread yet or not. But it's a lot better because there is a ranking system so if you screw around, you will lose rank which is permanent. That one little thing makes people behave completely differently. It seems to just have a better class of player too. Ones that know to see what other people have bid before they place their bid for example. It's a little bit slower though so usually I couldn't be bothered playing.

I also found an iPhone version of the game called Tiki Spades which is quite good too.

I recently got hooked on Magic the Gathering Online though, so I haven't really looked back since then. That game is very expensive and it has it's own problems sadly, but for the time being at least, it's my game of choice if I have a spare hour or so.

[Harry-p]

Hi Phage, No the game called 500 that I know is quite different from Solo whist, similar to canasta except with a single deck. Players lay down sets or runs in front of them and 2s are wild. Solo has similarities with Bridge although you only bid once and you are invariably playing on you own when you win the call. Another game I remember avidly was an Irish game called 25s., very popular on London building sites in the 80s. Nap (Napoleon) played with a short deck was also another favourite of mine.

[Dbedford]

You forgot about the idiots that bid double niel on the first hand and cause everyone to quit.

People annoy me sometimes.

Anyone ever play Internet Spades? The game comes free with Windows XP (I don't like solitaire or pinball etc.). Sometimes when I'm at work and I've got nothing to do, and im bored of reading the internet.. I play internet spades.

Its a really great game, and once you have played it a fair bit, it becomes really addictive. Infact... as nerdy as it may sound... I have sometimes cought myself playing it when I get home... When you have a dual core PC with an 8800GTX and a bunch of the latest games, and yet you still play internet spades.... you know there must be something special about it.

Anyway, what amazes me, is the insanely stupid stuff other people do. First off, I'd guess around 50% of games start with somebody leaving... Its a game with 2 teams of 2 people... So when one person leaves, it means its two people versus one person with a crappy computer AI as their partner. So when one person leaves, the other person usually leaves pretty soon afterwards. And when they leave... you are basically playing against a pair of stupid AI's, so you and your teammate usually leave too, to look for a proper game. So basically...... one person can ruin an entire game. So 50% of the time with the game, is spent hitting Alt G over and over... to join new game after new game, in the hope that you will finally find one with people who will actually stick around and play it. It never used to be too bad, and obviously some people are at work and the boss walks in so they have to close it fast... And some people have internet connection troubles. So a few people leaving abruptly from time to time is to be expected. But nowdays, I would estimate that over 50% of games end before they even started due to people just bailing out. Something that really bugs me about this, is that I am willing to bet, its because people look at their hand and see that its crap, so they just quit and move on to another game hoping they will have a better hand... What annoys me about that is that not only is it rude and selfish, but its also pretty stupid because the games last so long that even if you royally screw up in the first hand, you can still end up winning by an enormous margin - because anything can happen.

The next thing that amazes me, is that (I won't explain all the rules and stuff....) but there is one card in the game (The Ace of Spades), which is a garaunteed win. A spade is the highest suit, and the ace is the highest card. So the ace of spades is an absolutely garaunteed win - no matter what. The basic premise of the game is to bet how many wins you think you are going to get in a round, and if you are sure you have a hand full of crappy cards, you can bet zero... That means you have to lose every single turn, which with a bunch of terrible cards, is possible. And the reward is a huge score. If you fail though, you get a huge negative score. And yet... sometimes... I see people bet zero when they have an ace of spades! And then you see them play it and win... and I can just imagine them thinking, "Gawd damn! I won!!". What where you thinking was going to happen with the highest card in the game?!! Grrrr.

The craziest thing of all though.... (if anyone is still reading), is this... There are 13 cards for each player, and the cards are played one at a time, so there are 13 turns in a game. So when you place your bet, you are betting how many you think you can win during 13 games.... You take turns to make your bet, and you don't have to bet until you have seen what everyone else has bet. So a person with a brain... would watch what everyone else bets, and then place their bet. So, if the first person bets that they will win 5, then they clearly have 5 really good cards so will most likely win 5 in the round. Then the second person bets say 5 too... so that means between those two people, they are almost certainly going to win 10 out of the 13 rounds. So then the third person bets 2.... that means that between all the other players, they are predicting and aiming, to win 12 out of 13 hands. So the last person, if they had a brain, would either bet nil, or 1. Betting 2 or more is basically insane because there are only 13 cards, so you should never really bet more than is left, unless you had a really strange hand like queen king ace (of spades), or something like that which would garauntee you would win - even although everyone else is betting they will win all the cards. But anyway.... on almost EVERY game, almost every fricken person... bets before they have even seen what everyone else has bet! So the first person bets 5, second person bets 5, that means theres just 3 cards left for the last two people to bet on... but because everyone bets before they have even looked at what everyone else bets.... they all end up betting 5, which means theres a total of 20 bets for just 13 cards... So what happens? One team makes their bet, and the spazzes on the other team end up losing... not by just one or two cards... but by 8 fricken cards They then leave out of embarassment probably, and the game is over. Everybody wasted everybody's time to click a bunch of virtual cards for no particular reason.

Oh, and the last thing, is that if somebody bets a nil... then its their partner's job to make sure they never win. So if they play a 7, the other team will play their lowest cards... so if the 7 ends up being the highest, they screwed up and will lose a huge pile of points. So its your job to cover your partner and always make sure you play a higher card than them, if they bet a nil... So what happens in the world of dumbness? People bet before they look at the other bets... so one guy bets a nil, and then the partner bets nil too... Sometimes they even say, "Oops!" which shows they atleast realise they where stupid. But sometimes the game continues anyway. The guy who bet a nil plays an 8 (for example), and so the two people on the other team play whatever low cards they have (anything lower than an 8 is fine), so the last guy who also bet a nil... either plays less than an 8 and screws his partner, or plays more than an 8 and screws himself.

This may all sound like inane rambling, but if you have ever played the game or know how it works, you would know how amazingly stupid and ridiculous this all is.

Also, I could understand it happening once in a while... Obviously, some of these people will be 5 years old and have a lolly ice in one hand, and will be randomly hitting keys and mouse buttons with their other hand. But when this happens pretty much consistently, it makes me wonder what the frick is happening with people.

What totally baffles me, is that the game gives a kind of difficulty level. When you first play you are a novice, and then you can increase to intermediate, and then advanced. And when you are set to advanced, the game automatically finds other advanced players to play with... So I join an advanced game, hoping to get a good game... and yet the bunch of idiots all bet before they have even seen what the other players have bet. So all this madness is happening with people who are playing as "advanced" players...

I think the phrase is, "OMGZ WTF".

p.s. It shows a location for the players, and the majority of bad players have "English" under their location :O I am assuming thats just because there are more people with the English location than other locations though. Either that, or this country is bursting at the seems with really dummies =P

P.p.s. Obviously sometimes there are some really good games too. When you get a few other people who know how to play well, it can be a great game. But sometimes it can take a long time to find a few players with enough brain cells to keep them sitting upright for 10 minutes. By the way, there is a proper online version that you can play for real money if you are interested. I play it but I play it for fake money. Its limited to about $5 a go so I don't play it partly because I'm scared of becoming one of those gambling addicts who end up £90,000 in debt living in a cardboard box, and partly because even if I did do well, I'd make about a tenner which is hardly worth the stress. Its quite fun to play for pretend money though.

[Dooms]

I read the thread title and thought "well this person can't type" thinking the thread was "My insane rant about internet speeds"

[BobF64]

It would be like playing poker and betting all your chips before you even look at your hand

Ohh, youve played against me then?

Going all in makes the round end quicker.

[peterb]

This must be one of the slowest moving threads ever

[Zak33]

ah.. but it's not spam.. it's real people