Things to do before leaving old job...

[TiG]

I've realised that as i've been here for 3 years and i'm now moving on to pastures new 2 weeks on Monday, i've started to think what i should be doing before I leave.

First things first i'm going through my e-mails and archiving off my own personal stuff, (computer orders - e-mails from friends etc)

I've got all my web cache cleared daily so no problems there.

I've archived off my web favourites, useful work/technology links etc. and will delete these from my system on the final day.

Other little things like taking my own mug for tea home and things like that, but what else am i missing?

TiG

[Rythmic]

Giving the boss a piece of your mind

Seriously make sure you've got your P60s, pay slips, pension statements, copy of your contract - anything legal, just in case.

[Devilbod]

Giving the boss a piece of your mind

Seriously make sure you've got your P60s, pay slips, pension statements, copy of your contract - anything legal, just in case.

1. Go into the toilet and get a toilet roll.
2. Take said toilet roll and walk up to the boss.
3. Then say "I'm taking this for all the sh*te that I've had to put up from you in the last three years!".
4. Smile
5. Then leave.

[Tumble]

or alternatively.... take said toilet roll, proffer to said manager and politely inform him that he needs to wipe his mouth......

[TiG]

as much as i can talk about things like this with my subtle nature, but have you heard about burning your bridges?

TiG

[malfunction]

Well... When I left my first job after Uni (2 years working for a large insurance company) I got blind drunk within the first 2 hours of my leaving do on the Thursday... And started slagging everyone off... Not too many people turned up to my presentation at Friday lunch... I did get a decent leaving pressie though so obviously they'd bought that before the leaving do!

[nichomach]

Find the Office 2003 "You can shove your job up your *rse" Wizard?



"Hi! It looks like you want to tell your boss to perform a sex act with a yak..."

[Atomic]

You've got to leave a note/joke somewhere random so that they will find it in a few months read it and have a laugh...

[Lee H]

Right - grab a pen and keep a score chart - we wanna know how many points you get on your last day from the following ;

One-Point Gags

--------------------

· Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

· In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out "Yahtzee!"

· Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."

· Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

· Run one lap around the office at top speed.

· To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

· Walk sideways to the photocopier.

· When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"

· While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.



Three-Point Gags

-------------------------

· Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."

· Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

· Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

· Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

· Shout random numbers while someone is counting.



Five-Point Gags

----------------------

· After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, "The report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

· Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number two."

· At lunch time get down on your knees and announce "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

· At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra 3 points if you actually launch into it yourself).

· Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "Ya wanna trade?"

· Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."

· Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

· For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.

· Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

· In a colleagues diary, write in 10:00 am "See how I look in tights."

· In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

· Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:

"Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"Never mind, it's gone now"

· Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, "not now" and walk away.

· Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

· While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

· While talking to a colleague, pick your nose.


Hopefully you'll get above 20 once the nerves of doing this fade off - I know I did in my last job lol

Hope this inspires you

[Raz316]

You've got to leave a note/joke somewhere random so that they will find it in a few months read it and have a laugh...

I did that, but I kinda didnt leave in the end, oops.

· In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out "Yahtzee!"
. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
· Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, "not now" and walk away.

haha I like those ones

[scottyman]

LOL

Last day at my old job, spent the day down at the pub with most of the office - only people who actually had work to do stayed (in fact - everybody came!)
I was employee #10, so I'd been there a while, and was the second hire after the company was set up.
If you're in engineering (also works well with IT support) and have to take support calls - trick is to forward each other's phones in a ring - this way first sucker who takes a call, has to fix the problem. Means it's a quite fair distribution of effort and drinking time!
Take your mugs, books, note pads, contents of stationary cabinet home before your leaving drinks, else you'll leave everything at the pub!
Any toys and cables you've got, take them home early.

Managed to lose the interface cable to my Philips Pronto, as left it plugged into my workstation when I left - luckily nice people gave me a free one.
It's worth making a note of anyone you got on well with, and making sure you've got each other's contact details, as it's easy to lose touch - case in point, one of the girls who worked for me years ago - started work at my old gaff about a week after I left - only found out she'd started there last week (8 months down the line)

[daniel_owen_uk]

Steal as much stationary as humanly possible

But seriously, empty your draws and take anything home thats yours (or that you want).

Make sure you have all your contacts that you need to keep whether you keep them on works phone system or outlook.

[Rythmic]

One-Point Gags

--------------------

· Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
· In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out "Yahtzee!"
· Run one lap around the office at top speed.· To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
· Walk sideways to the photocopier.
· When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"
Three-Point Gags
· Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
· Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
· Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
Five-Point Gags
· After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, "The report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
· For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.
· Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:

"Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"Never mind, it's gone now"

· While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

Well that puts me on 26 and I'm not leaving (quite yet...)

[Zak33]

who have you lent stuff too...and WHAT was it....

GET IT BACK.

I have a plant here....when I go...it goes

[Moby-Dick]

I set up a few AT jobs on collegues machines to open and close the cd-rom drawer randomly. Took them a while to find it

[Slick]

lmao Wildmonkey UK those are great ideas