New Element Discovered: best move the Periodic Table about for this one

[Zak33]

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT

Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

[Pancake]

I was going to post about the funny names, and then i realised.

[stevie lee]

funny you posting this zak, i was talking to a scientist friend of mine earlier and he mentioned another property of the Governmentium that was discovered. its one they dont like being reminded of because of ther adverse reaction the Governmentium got when this property was discovered.

this is of course the tendancy for the repelling of Au. any contact with this element and the Governmentium then repels the Au off to the nearest particle with excess Pb. this is where it gets interesting though, the Governmentium then seems to absorb some of Pb which is of course worthless and then it loses some of its energy and cant seem to be able to 'energize' its morons and pillocks anymore due to a lack of power.




-this is what i think he said, im not a scientist so some of the terminology might be wrong

[shakerist]

Lol im going to print this out for my chem class 2moro

[Macman]

I actually got sucked in thinking it WAS a new element until I read 'These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks' :L

[Tumble]

Thanks Zak.... Absolutely stealing that!!!

[scaryjim]

I actually got sucked in thinking it WAS a new element until I read 'These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks' :L

The reference to "assistant" neutrons didn't tip you off in the first paragraph?!

[Macman]

The reference to "assistant" neutrons didn't tip you off in the first paragraph?!

I had assumed it was just a technical terminology lol

[Zak33]

glad you all liked

made me happy actually