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In a surprising statement today, the New Age Secular Terrorist International organisation launched a blistering attack on mathematicians for the “Insidious propogation of Christan values” through the use of the + symbol in mathematical formulae.
“This is clearly an attempt to indoctrinate children from an early age” said Ima Nutter, spokesman for the NASTI organisation “and must be eradicated immediately - by legal action if necessary” He added, "We are also looking at the use of other mathematical symbols that promote religious ideas, the use of C as a constant is also an Islamic symbol, and the implication that any religion is a Constant must be offensive to all secularists. We also oppose the notion of Integration as it implies full and tolerant acceptance of religious views in society, which we oppose."
In a surprising twist, the pressure group, Religious Opposed To Technology, Engineering, and eaRth Sciences (ROTTERS) gave qualified support to the initiative. Their spokesman, Doctor Barking-Mad, said in a statement yesterday, “We certainly object to the adoption of a powerful symbol by mathematics, a discipline that supports the evils of science and technology. However, while we support the view taken by the NASTI organisation, we at ROTTERS feel it doesn’t go far enough. The multiplication symbol is a gross and offensive distortion of the cross, and the traditional division symbol is clearly a broken cross, sending a divide and conquer message to the gullible. We are seeking to copyright and patent the use of these symbols to prevent their use”.
He added “Mathematics is an abomination in seeking to place order in the world” When asked if there was any branch of mathematics he supported, he replied that the set of irrational numbers was the only set that could be accepted by the organisation.
As if this revelation wasn’t enough, an as yet un-named cider manufacturer claimed that “Patenting ideas and copyright and suing other organisations (“patent trolling”) is our idea and we have patents pending. Any organisation seeking to use the same idea without a licence may expect to hear from our legal department.
All organisations in this article are entirely fictitious, and any association with real life organisations is entirely coincidental.
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Originally Posted by bledd
