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About LinkBacksAdequately defining 'restrained' is hard enough, let alone policing it effectively.
Adequately defining 'restrained' is hard enough, let alone policing it effectively.
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Originally Posted by Blitzen
Personally I don't agree with an outright ban, but do feel that the law at present is insufficient at present. As to whether the middle ground route will work, we'd have to wait and see.
More importantly though I feel that it still will not do anything to deal with the real problems, actual abuse of children and poor parenting leading to unruly children. How we tackle that is an entirely different matter. As I don't think that parenting lessons will work with anything other than parents who want to learn how to parent.
If it ain't broke, fetch a bigger hammer
I can honestly say I learn new things everyday and so does my other half in how to tackle problems when they arise.
As a child I was abused by my stepfather and used to get kicked with steel tipped boots, smacked so hard one point I was bruised from the back of my knees up to my shoulders as he had all his rings on. I was then kept off school 3 weeks so all the marks vanished and my teachers wouldnt know what happened. That is child abuse, no 2 ways about it. When I was 15 it all finally came out as he laid into me with his fists and feet and I managed to get out the house to where I work (At this point I received a fractured cheek bone, bruising to my throat amongst other marks etc), he finally got what he deserved as the police got him and there was a court case. He done a 6 month sentence and got a few hundred pounds fine
From this happening to me I know the consequences etc of child abuse and it has actually made me stronger and a better parent. Knowing restraint if any of the 3 kids deserve a smack. Since the time when my son went for me with the scissors he has actually calmed down alot. He listens to me and his mam (still has his moments however but these moments are usually sorted with a time out and separating him from his sisters) His unruly behaviour isnt anywhere near as bad. He gets smacked when he acts violent towards anyone in the house, its enough to make him realise that he hurts someone by throwing a toy or lashing out in whatever way he gets smacked and that hurts him. Me and his mam know exactly how to control his behaviour now but we never go to far. Another thing we NEVER do is hit his head or his torso. Its always a few smacks to his backside, but we both feel really low and bad when we have to do this. Thankfully now its once in a blue moon when he gets smacked and he isnt lashing out like he used to.
I think in practice what this will do is give police the power to act at an earlier stage than would now be the case, parents must restrain themselves and this can now be policed, unfortunately like any law this will lead to injustices but hopefully it sorts out more problems than it causes. I think that the law can intervene earlier and there will not be a restriction on "normal" chastisement of kids that is necessary sometimes to bring them up in a disciplined environment, just on loons who hurt their kids, once this abuse is defined in law action can be taken.
The Cow by Ogden Nash
The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.
This would have helped me 15 years ago as it was clearly child abuse what was happening to me.
Hopefully this will help the good parents and come down on the parents like my stepfather hard and heavy.
Me and my other half try our best for the 3 kids and they love us to bits and have upmost respect for us most the time (all kids tend to go through phases). We all have our good and bad days and regardless of age we all know when something is up. Last week I had a stotting migraine and my son and eldest daughter kept coming to me giving me hugs and asking if I was ok, my eldest even got her mam to help her make me a cup of tea !
With little shining examples like that you can see that mine and my other halfs parenting works well in the way we do things.
The best feeling in the world!
Makes your heart melt when they do that doesn't it
Theres a fine line between child abuse and discipline..
Yet again the "PC" do-gooders rub that line out, look at all the chavs neds n the likes that havent been disciplined properly, if your soft on people then they think they can get away with stuff with just a stern telling off...
When I was young I had the slipper, belt, dog lead, hand and cane and I dont hate my parents for it, I was a rite little **** and got what I deserved, simple as, its nothing to do with the government or the "PC" brigade how people discipline there children, when kids get beaten up by drunk parents thats a different matter but like I said its a thin line which children will flaunt if they can turn round to there parents n say "If you smack me I'll get you reported" they'll use it to there advantage, thas what kids do.....
My mum never smacked me she used the silent treatment, I dont mean for a day usally for a week and when you a child and crave attention you soon learn not to piss mum off, the world can become a lonely place when your only parent is pretending you dont exist.
I thought reasonable chastisement was still in place its if you smack your child hard enough to bruise or stratch then it's assult or ABH?
That creates a huge gray area because of what is classed as assult so I wouldnt worry a clip round the ear of a smack to the bottom isnt going to be an issue
I agree that the 'PC' brigade take things too far, they seem to look at everything in black and white. It's creating a lot of pressure on parents which I feel is unfair, every time a child ends up with a bruise they point the fingure at parents and accusing them of abuse. I'm sure some over velous people will abuse this.
Outright ban?
I don't think so
It was my 18th Birthday yesterday. On the sunday was the sort of family gathering. Same old chat yada yada...
But I got reminded of my younger days! To put it mildly I was a little barsteward when I was a kid. Tantrums, fighting with my little bro and generally being a pain in the ass. There was one photo of my gran and grandas (RIP) wedding anniversairy with the family. I was sitting there with a face like a smacked arse (which I'd probably received) because I'd thrown a tantrum for some reason.
Looking back I'm so glad I got the slipper or the wooden spoon. I would like to think I'm a totally different person and I would say that I have a really good understanding of my actions in how they affect other people. Without the smacks I received I probably would've just caused more mayhem - this "talking" to kids to make them "understand" their actions is utter.... testicular apendages.
Children don't have the mental capacity to understand consequences very well, at least at an early age. They can relate to the action / consequence cycle much more easily if a physical factor such as pain is invovled - a smack.
Now don't call me a vicious, uncaring barbarian - I'm not talking about public flogging or caning here but a smack on the backside without causing pain that last for longers than 10 or 20 mins with no visable marks. If I even got threatened with the wooden spoon or the slipper I damn sure thought about what I was doing before I did it. Maybe it didn't stop me everytime but it certainly helped.
Am I scarred? Am I somehow mentally damaged by this "abuse"?
I am now 18 years old. I am studying for my A Levels at one of the best Grammar schools in Northern Ireland. In my GCSEs I received 6 As and 4 A*s. I have a part time job. Passed my driving test. I've never been in trouble with the police. I enjoy the company of my friends and enjoy life.
Ok so most of that may be irrelivent but I'd like to think this treatment I received helped me get to where I am in life.
What is acceptable punishment is widely open to debate and some parents may take it too far but as some people have said so far, you just have to look at our streets to see what an apparent lack of discipline has produced in our society. Yes other factors such as family situation need to be factored in and I probably am stereotyping a little but I feel that an outright ban of smacking really just isnt the way forward.
None of us were little angels when we were young!
Smacking children isn't wrong when it is used in a responsible and restrained manner. Beating the cr*p out of Tony Blair should be made legal. In fact, it should be made mandatory. Sometimes smacking a child is the only way they will listen and absorb a lesson. D'you reckon the same is true for Blair?
"You want loyalty? ......get a dog!"
I think the recent election served a purpose, to show Tony Blair he is infact hated by virtually every student in the UK.
That didn't make him wake up, so I think every vote Labour loose in the next election, he just receive one large smack to the face for.
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