Eh up y'all.
You may have noticed the post about water at work went MIA... this was intentional as I didn't want to get fired. Just yet.
I put all of your suggestions into one nuclear strike and gave the bosses one last warning, stating the exact law and stating what I would do. I was nice and said I wouldn't be sending anything to them, but to the estates department... obviously knowing that if this went to the HSE, Union, etc it would look very bad on them.
Someone came with a length of copper pipe today to run the 10ft required from the potable supply to where the new water cooler is going to go.
I put the plan in motion on 25th of July. After about 6 years it took 6 days post legal threat.
Thank you all for the suggestions and giving me the information required to make this work.