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Thread: Next time you have a REALLY bad work day

  1. #1
    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    Next time you have a REALLY bad work day

    When you have an "I hate my job" day, try this:

    On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section.

    You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by "Johnson and Johnson." Be very sure you get this brand.
    When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed.

    Open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.

    Take out the material that comes with the thermometer and read it. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

    "Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested"

    Now close your eyes and repeat out loud five times: "I am so glad I do not work for quality control at the Johnson and Johnson Company."

    Have a nice day and remember, there is always someone with a worse job than yours.



    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

  2. #2
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    Well, it made me feel better

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    Studmuffin Flibb's Avatar
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    No should be lay back and thank god you didnt shove it under your tongue
    Flibb

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    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Flibb
    No should be lay back and thank god you didnt shove it under your tongue
    Flibb

    lmao.....nice 1...never thought of that

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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    F.A.S.T. Butuz's Avatar
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    Some poeple like that sort of thing

    Maybe its the best job in the world for some people?!!!



    Butuz

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    ^-- I'm with stupid --^
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    Reminds me of teachers on Wednesday:

    Kurt: "Shouldn't the word bugger cost less than other swear words, because to gay men its more of a hobby"

    rofl
    tom@meangasoline.co.uk | RIP Zoltan

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    Beard hat ftw! steve threlfall's Avatar
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    shocking

    but what are you doing with a rectal thermometer zak

  8. #8
    misterious and scary
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    omg to think in a way when you buy them they are in a way second hand hahaha


    errr ? ? ?

    im confused

  9. #9
    HEXUS.social member Agent's Avatar
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    Originally posted by oddytomtom
    omg to think in a way when you buy them they are in a way second hand hahaha
    omf lololol wtf ur right lmao !!111oneonetwelve roofles
    Quote Originally Posted by Saracen View Post
    And by trying to force me to like small pants, they've alienated me.

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    Drop it like it's hot Howard's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Agent
    omf lololol wtf ur right lmao !!111oneonetwelve roofles

    LMFAO

    Someone's been hanging around the likes of GenMay and various american IRC channels too much
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  11. #11
    A Straw? And Fruit? Bazzlad's Avatar
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    That's not right//////EWWWWWWWW!
    You reckon they get paid per thermometer? Or to stop boredom have races???

  12. #12
    misterious and scary
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    emagine how many the sell ? how many ass's they need to test um with hahaha


    errr ? ? ?

    im confused

  13. #13
    HEXUS.Metal Knoxville's Avatar
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    Sounds like heaven compared to a day at work for me...........

  14. #14
    2nd hardest inthe infants
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    god damn knox - what do you do for a living.....this i gotta hear!!!

    do u really have a job thats worse than jamming things up ur butt all day long??

    if thats the case i think i now understand the murderous rage that compels you to "fill the freezer" from time to time
    if it ain't broke...fix it till it is


  15. #15
    HEXUS.Metal Knoxville's Avatar
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    Right, i work on the checkout department on the good ship sainsburys

    aha, not so bad you say, making a mountain out of a molehill you think.

    Bah says I sticking stuff up my butt all day may be painfull, but not nearly as painful to me as the depression anger and stress caused by my job and some of the people involved with it, some days i come home and could quite happily ram my head in a plastic bag and take several deep breaths

  16. #16
    Ive got 10/40w for blood... THCi's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Agent
    omf lololol wtf ur right lmao !!111oneonetwelve roofles
    How the F**k did twelve get in there?


    And, ste, notice that Zak's using joined up typing in that post... either he is using a talk-n-type (or VIA voice, or whatever the feck it is this week). Or, he has copied it from somewhere

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