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Thread: Analogies....

  1. #1
    'ave it. Skii's Avatar
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    Analogies....

    Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------


    He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience,like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

    Joseph Romm, Washington


    She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

    Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station


    The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

    Russell Beland, Springfield


    McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.

    Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring


    From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

    Roy Ashley, Washington


    Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

    Chuck Smith, Woodbridge


    Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

    Russell Beland, Springfield


    Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake

    Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills


    Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

    Unknown


    He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

    Jack Bross, Chevy Chase


    The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

    Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring


    Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

    Russell Beland, Springfield


    Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other leaving from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

    Jennifer Hart, Arlington


    The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

    Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.


    They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth

    Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.


    John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

    Russell Beland, Springfield


    The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of
    metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

    Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria


    His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free

    Chuck Smith, Woodbridge


    The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red
    Crayola crayon.




  2. #2
    Smoke Me A Kipper! Slick's Avatar
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    lmao they're genius. With lots of them you can see the logic behind it but I find it hard to understand how someone can write this in a school essay
    "Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake"

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    XTR
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    Very good Skii

    Some of them made me chuckle



    *Disclaimer* - The contents of this message are not necessarily my own opinions,thoughts or views... they may belong to the voices in my head!

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    HEXUS.Metal Knoxville's Avatar
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    Re: Analogies....

    Absolute quality

    This one in particular made me laugh -

    Originally posted by Skii


    The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

    Russell Beland, Springfield

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    Beard hat ftw! steve threlfall's Avatar
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    "McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup".



    ok, this made me choke on my malteasers

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    Re: Re: Analogies....

    Originally posted by Knoxville
    Absolute quality
    This one in particular made me laugh -
    The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
    Russell Beland, Springfield

    's good, but isn't it essentially nicked from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? With the Vogon ships hanging in the air in the same way that bricks don't?

  7. #7
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    Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

    Russell Beland, Springfield

    The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

    Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.
    I think these two are great. Crazy, I’m listening to “Royksopp, Melody A.M.”, the tune playing is “Remind Me” and the lyrics sung as I write are ‘Brave men tell the truth, A wise man's tools are analogies and puzzles, A woman holds her tongue, knowing silence will speak for her.’ That is timing. Umm, anyway I forget my point now, but I remember in middle school writing a story. Just after a plain crash I put ‘the aeroplanes blades where crooked like “Tony Blair”’, for some reason the teacher said it wasn’t the sort of analogies they wanted.
    "Keyboard missing - press F3 to continue" Message seen on an Apricot PC.
    "To start press any key. Where's the any key?" Homer Simpson.
    Hexus Trust

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