Why's it great to be guy I hear you ask? Here's why...

[Knoxville]

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is £10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

Wedding dress - £2,000. Tuxedo rental - 200 quid

You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Gas (at either end) is cool.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

[unreal]

LOL I usually don't care much about these sorta FW: FW: CHAIN MAIL type thingy's but this one is absolutely true

[Lee H]

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

30 Seconds ?

I've got it down to 10 seconds or less now

"alright geezer, pub? 8pm? Quality!"

[Nemeliza]

I've got it down to 10 seconds or less now "

And that includes time taken to dial the number and wait for an answer

[chuckskull]

30 Seconds ?

I've got it down to 10 seconds or less now

"alright geezer, pub? 8pm? Quality!"

Ahh i was about to comment on the on the slightly feminine 30seconds. The longest call in mobiles recent history, Is 13seconds. The shortest being 3.

Am I the only one who hates talking on the phones? Tell me what, where and when then hang up.

I think you may have just discovered one of my biggest pet hates

[UKMuFFiN]

he he. Seen this before but allways makes me chuckle! It's going round the office now. Cheers.

[Mrs Dak]

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are
actually either male or female.
Here are some examples:
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you
can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a
while to warm them up again.They are an effective reproductive device
if the right buttons are pushed,
but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.
TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over
inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under their arse
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and
retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and
frequently
getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines
for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight
shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed
at all and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male,
but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost
without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he
just keeps trying

[UKMuFFiN]

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are ...

Very good!

[chrestomanci]

Ahh i was about to comment on the on the slightly feminine 30seconds. The longest call in mobiles recent history, Is 13seconds. The shortest being 3.

They have probably changed it now, but in the past Orange did not charge for calls that lasted less than 3 secconds. I guess it was part of them being nice, and not charging you when you got through to an answerphone or wrong number.

[chuckskull]

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under their arse

[kickstart 1]

Sorry just got to join in this one !
If men got pregnant...
1)They would stay in bed for the whole 9 months
2)Maternity leave would last 2 yrs with full pay
3)All children would be kept in hospital till fully toilet trained
4)They might actually commit to one woman
5)They'd check out their bigger chests in the mirror every 5 mins

He says;I have a really busy job and a complicated life
What he means;Your not the only woman i'm seeing .

He says;My wife doesnt understand me
What he means; Shes heard all my stories before and is sick of them .

He says;Are you tired?
What he means; Can we have sex?

He says;He's gay
What he means ; I wish i looked that good

He says; I like curvy women
What he means; I like big boobs.

[Clunk]

30 Seconds ?

I've got it down to 10 seconds or less now

"alright geezer, pub? 8pm? Quality!"

Text is even quicker..

"pub?"

"yeh"

"k"

[Funkstar]

Very good Knox, although is dissagree about the shoes. You can never have too many shoes

[Hans Voralberg]

Uhm err I usually talk on the phone for bout 10-30 mins lol . Even going to the pub takes more than 10 secs =))

[mike_w]

I hate talking on the phone with a passion. If I can avoid talking on the phone, I will!

[leeglf]

I hate talking on the phone with a passion. If I can avoid talking on the phone, I will!

same here i dont know why i hate it i just do!