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Thread: Economic Models: Explained with Cows

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    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    Economic Models: Explained with Cows

    Sorry if it's old news, or repeated, but it's worthy
    --------------------------------------------------


    Economic Models explained with cows:

    SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour

    COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some
    milk.

    FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

    BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks
    the other, then throws the milk away...

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire
    on the income.

    SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
    harmonica lessons.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
    other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to
    analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to
    your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
    brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
    associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
    exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are
    transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly
    owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows
    back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns
    eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new
    President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance
    sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

    THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a
    riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they
    are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the
    milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and
    market it worldwide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they
    live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they
    are. You decide to have lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you
    have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
    count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and
    open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belongs to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking
    them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
    productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

    IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
    that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of
    you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now
    you are part of a Democracy....

    WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
    attractive.

    AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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    A Straw? And Fruit? Bazzlad's Avatar
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    I've seen a different version of this, but this one was better!

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    RDL
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    Brilliant!
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    That actually had me laughing out loud

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    Amateur photographer Hans Voralberg's Avatar
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    Made me giggles
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    HEXUS.bouncer Jonny's Avatar
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    Very good

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    LWA
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    Nice post Mr Zakk, made me and few other guys in the office laugh.

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    It's funny 'cause it's true.

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