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Clever - better than sticking a fish in your ear.
Matter of opinion...Quote:
Originally Posted by Peeej1
Will a fish record your conversation and then use it to define which products to advertise at you next time you log in?
Also, with the fish you don't have to worry about battery consumption, signal coverage or mobile data availability...
I'm afraid this species of translator is vastly more invasive.Quote:
Originally Posted by Peeej1
Well, some uni flatmates of mine taught me some really choice Arabic swear words. I'm tempted to use this to tell Google where to shove it .... other than their ear.
Why is it that everyone wants to learn or are taught swear words of foreign languages ? Always puzzled me!Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
Have you not heard of phishing?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ttaskmaster
Well, when you're impoverished students you've got to do sonething to pass the time. My on-campus flat of 12 had three arabic speakers in it and they were keen to polish their English. In return, they taught me some basic Arabic. Some of it very basic. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by OilSheikh
Besides, there's been a number of times over the years when I've found cursing in a foreign language useful, and I find Arabic especially useful as so few of my normal contacts speak it, so you can call them all sorts of names, while smiling, and they may suspect you called them something rude, but don't know.
And, on a more serious note, as a journalist I've often found that at least understanding some foreign languages to be very useful indeed. Best of all, some basic Japanese. You'd be astonished how much you learn on a press trip in a Japanese company boardroom when senior execs have no idea you understand them. You just have to remember to keep a dutifully blank "Huh?" expression on your face when they switched to Japanese for a quick discussion. ;)
Besides .... Arabic is wonderful for swearing. :D
Because it's big and clever and makes you sound cool?Quote:
Originally Posted by OilSheikh
Because we're English and sometimes have the need to offend foreigners in ways that they can actually understand?
They can phish all they like, but they won't get anywhere with me until they can at least spell correctly...!Quote:
Originally Posted by peterb
No, no no. We're British. We've never had trouble offending foreigners, without bothering to actually speak their language. We just S A Y I T S L O W L Y and V E R Y L O U D L Y in English, 'cos then, obviously, all foreigners understand us perfectly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ttaskmaster
Nah, cussing someone a foreign language is best used on Brits, because they typically don't speak the kanguage. That's why Arabic works well - so few (native) Brits speak it. By the time people work out that they've probably been insulted, conversation (and probably you) have long moved on.
Of course, there is a risk.
The above method is great for leaving people a bit confused and bemused, probably feeling they ought to be offended but not quite sure .... unless you pick someone that happens to speak that language, in which case the above method is great for getting punched on the nose, kicked in the plums or in the case of one or two of those Arabic phrases, probably nose snd plums.
Russian works pretty well too. German isn't bad with all those gutteral and glottal sounds but has the singular disadvantage of being far too widely understood, thus presenting a serious risk to the health of the utterer's schnoz and nuts.
Personally, I think I need to come up with a few choice phrases maybe in Aramaic. Maybe a long-dead language .... anyone know Aztec? Perhaps Mayan?
Speak for yourself. I'm English.Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
The British haven't no.... but the English can cause even more offence when said foreigners can actually understand it!Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
And you don't think that's precisely why we learn to swear in foreign languages?Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
I thought you were supposed to be British?Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
Curse in English, man... Do it properly, do it well and crank out something subtly witty with a distinctly Hornblower flavour that would put Shakespeare to shame!
Noted. Database amended. The generic term was used in case you sere Welsh, or worse, Scots.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ttaskmaster
See, that's how it's done. Two entire nationalities suitably offended in a single sentence.
But if I'd wanted to insult someone so they weren't sure, I might have used arabic and said .... hang on, does that pesky Google thing include Arabic?
I can be Scottish if I choose, as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
See, the multiple nationality allows me to curse like an Englishman in all manner of languages, while the Scottish accent doubles the offense offered just by its mere tone, all capped off with an overriding British wit.
Hold my beer, lad....Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
"Cursed be the blacksmith who forged the axe, which felled the tree, from which was carved the headboard of the bed of the parents of the driver of the carriage in which your mother and father first met"
THAT is how it's done.
It does.... sort-of.... It generally only works if you can read, and type in, Squiggle.Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
Best to just google up some phoenetic phrases, like the rest of us.
Ah. Umm. Errr .... that had never occurred to me. At all. Ever. Honest. Which reminds me, change sig.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ttaskmaster
As for me holding your beer. Sure, pal, when I come round for dinner. I can probably hold 7 or 8 before I start to wobble a bit, and if I pass out somewhere betweenv12 and 15, just kinda shove me under the dining room table. Eggs Benedict for breakfast works well for a hangover.
Oh, and strong black coffee. Thanks.
PS. I''d advise leaving a bucket close by. while I'm under the table. You never know.
Yeah, that doesn't really work in Google Translator either...Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
You won't be doing that with MY beer.... I only have the one anyway, and the rest of the house is all wine, gin, whisky and whatever else the wife is drinking. You might find a single can of beer, but that's for the chicken. Any cans of stout are for the Christmas pud... touching that means death!Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
If you want beer for drinking, especially something other than Budweiser or Windhoek, either bring your own or co-ordinate logistics with the other guests.
The guest list is likely to comprise ex squaddies, Royal Marines, bikers and mechanics. Passing out at my place is at your own risk!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
So does being woken by three hungry puppies and a trip to one of our excellent burger vans!Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
You're British - Drink tea...Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
You will be relocated to the neighbours' flowerbed or compost heap before it becomes an issue.Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
@Ttask .....
Royal Marines?
Gulp.
Erm, no, I don't think I fancy passing out anywhere near that lot. My father-in-law is one, and he has an evil sense of humour in such circumstances. I'm likely to wake up doing a passable impression of a Christmas fairy, atop Nelson's Column.
As for the stout and Christmas pudding, I know I invited myelf for dinner but I didn't mean Christmas dinner. Very kind of you. Let me check my diary.
Very considerate of you. A nice upgrade from the usual midden heap. You is a true gent, sir.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ttaskmaster
That's not evil, that's merely mischevious. Things have developed quite a way since his day...Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
Modern day Royal Marine evil starts with naked rollmat fighting, progresses through Soggy Biscuit and then goes down a hole (could be a rabbit hole... could be something entirely more horrifying) so dark and traumatising that merely summarising the details here will get me Banhammered by Thor himself!!
Ah... no. Partaking of the family recipe (passed down through five generations, I believe) is at the invite of the Ttaskmistress only. I don't have admin rights on that one...Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
Gotta help the neighbours out where possible.Quote:
Originally Posted by Saracen
Oh - You'll never guess what.... Our houses were all built in 1865 (worker's cottages for the mansion round the corner). Thus we all have middens in the back garden, from back when it was commonplace!
Oxo jars, bed frames, old kitchenware, there's all sorts in them. Fortunately, ours is sunken, soil-sealed and concealed away beneath our decking, so it's not a concern. We have hidden the midden.