Snack Related Mis-haps!

[Spunkey]

Morning all!

Well i finally got home last night in the blizzard about 8pm, after taking 3 1/2hrs to travel about 5 miles grrrr.
Think to myself ill have a quick dinner, so i stick some rice in a metal handled pan to boil, alolng with some sweet n' sour chicken.

after a while I go to the loo, come back and notice half the water has boiled away out of the rice, so i pick up the pan. As i said before its a metal handle, and unbeknownst to muggins here it was _boiling_ hot. After about a second of searing pain i drop the pan back on the hob, leaving a layer or two of skin on the handle and run to the bathroom and stick my hand in some cool water.

So now here i sit right hand bandaged up completely, typing with my left (its taken about 15mins to type this 'kin thread ) listening to CKY. At least i got the day off tho - can play GP4, just cant use manual gears hehehe

Anyone else had any Darwin attempts in the kitchen?

[Tumble]

Lynni tried stirring a pasta bake once..... without taking it out of the oven and touched the *hot* element in the top


and aaaaaaaages ago I touched a hot hob with my arm while I was looking at me potatoes and dropped the sharp knife I was holding.. and missed my shoe-less foot by about half an inch with knife stuck point down in the floor. And I burnt my arm...

[Blub2k]

the moral of the story?
tumble household should live on take aways....safer

[5lab]

rubbishrubbishrubbishrubbishrubbishy - cky are playing in march. they also played in dec (first gigs in this country) - ive had tickets for both they ROCK live..

[Blub2k]

cky =?
Camp Kill yourself?

[funnelhead]

i was cooking for this girl i really fancied - trying to show my romantic side right - pushed the onions into the pan went back to chop the garlic - went to pass the knife from left hand to right hand - threw it - forgot to catch it - watched it fall - watched it bury itself in my naked big toe below the knuckle - felt it hit the bone.... blood went everywhere i screamed like a whore.

ended up lying upside down on the couch with my foot in the air in a sock stuffed with tissue. While she cooked us dinner. result..

we've been going out two and a half years now.... ... so i highly recommend my cunning statedgy

[Tumble]

the moral of the story?
tumble household should live on take aways....safer

You think? all sorts of dangers there matey - suffocation from the cheap carrier bags, paper cuts from the chip wrappers, unidentifiables in the food from the local chinese....... the list goes on.....

[Hidden Spirit]

First one - I switched cooker on at wall in preperation to turn oven on for dinner. There was a plate sitting on the hob. Unknown to me Barry hadn't switched the hob off when he had cooked kids dinner earlier. Result - one plate shattering into a thousand pieces about 2 mins later and one female clinging to the ceiling

Second - standing in kitchen cutting youngest son's food up for him. Youngest son standing beside me admiring Daddy's tool box's under kitchen worktop. Result - youngest son dropping hammer (that Daddy was too lazy to put away in box!) on my foot. Me gritting teeth cursing Barry for everything. Not to mention a nicely bruised/swollen foot that bloody hurt!

[Nick]

I had just finished working a huge long set of murderous shifts, been doing about 18-20 hours a day for about a week or so. I was on me chinstrap and it was noticed so I got given the rest of the afternoon off. I went home and the first thing I did was have a shower.

After my shower I came down to the kitchen in just my dressing gown and decided to fix some grub. I was totally knackered so I decided on a nice pot of Batchelor's Super Noodles. I put the water on to boil, added the noodles and powder, turned it down to a simmer and went into the lounge to see what was on telly while the noodles were cooking.

Next thing I know I'm woken by the smoke alarm going off... and I realise I have been aware its been going off for a little while, but I was asleep and not bothered too much. I leap up, run into the kitchen and see this glass 'Vision' pan which previously had my noodles simmering in it.

It no longer has my noodles in it... now it is doing a damn fine impression of Mount Etna with clouds of gray smoke literally billowing out of it... yep, I've managed to boil the noodles so dry they have started to actually burn.

Like a total lemon I bound across the kitchen and grab the pan... like a complete moron I forgot the pan is an all glass construction which now holds something slightly cooler than molten lava and I instantly burn my right hand all the way across my palm.

I drop the pan, but then remember it is a glass pan and it will shatter when it hits the floor. What I forgot is that catching a falling glass pan on your foot is only a good idea when (a) the pan ISN'T so hot it'd melt steel and (b) you're wearing shoes.

Yep, I tried to catch the pan on the top of my bare right foot.

So, I now flip the pan off of my burnt foot so hard and fast that it goes flying across the kitchen, through the door.... That is THROUGH the door.... through the bottom half of the glass paneled kitchen door.

Where it proceeds to burn a whole in our brand new two month old hall carpet.

I grab a tea-towel, leg it over intending to pick up the pan and dump it in the sink when I tread on a piece of the remains of the kitchen door glass with my other foot, burying the piece so deep the doc had to use a ladder and miner's helmet to get the damn thing out again.

And finally, to top it all, just as I was reaching down to grab the pan from a safe distance, my wife, returning from work and hearing yelling in the house, hurls the front door open and cracks me one across the top of my head so hard the skin splits like an over-ripe melon and I pour claret everywhere.

Needless to say, I had a right time of it explaining how I managed to do a second degree burn on my hard, a full thickness burn on my foot (properly mangling two toes), get an inch long shard of glass buried in my foot and then slice my head open....

It wasn't so bad the doctor and nurses laughing as the mickey taking I had to deal with at work. I went for a restful afternoon and night off and came back in with a strip shaved off my head and two stitches, my right foot bandaged, my left foot strapped and stitched and my right hand strapped up too.

Of course, Batchelors have never answered any of my letters asking for compensation either.... shame on them!

[Hidden Spirit]

I think that tops all ours together

[funnelhead]

no wonder you can cook properly now....

[Spunkey]

Deckard aka Frank Spencer ROFL

that wins hands down i think!

[Swafe]

cky =?
Camp Kill yourself?

ja, good old CKY, i saw them at academy in dec and they were pretty decent,

off to see them at wolves civic next

[nichomach]

Deck, you've just made my wife's day...she reckons it sounds like the ultimate hoe-and-rake gag

[Allen]

Deckard, thank you very much for such a laughter filled morning... I was crying for ages after reading that!

Makes my mistake of making toast with jam on it on the same board that my brother made garlic bread on sound pretty lame. That made me feel sick...

[Blub2k]

Ai you could imagine it in a tom and jerry type scene where things go wrong domino fashion, all that was missing was the maid on the chair with the broom shouting ..."THOMAS"!!!!!!!!!