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Time for a completely non-computer related bit before the jet-lag kicks in and knocks me on my ass.
I've just this morning arrived back in the UK from Taiwan after covering Computex 2005 in Taipei with the all knowledgable Rys and the all diminutive PD. It's cool hanging out with them in a foreign country as PD knows the ropes, Rys knows the drinks and they both make me look good.
As well as covering Computex, I had the pleasure of being ABIT's guest to cover the ACON5 world finals, and tied with getting home from Taiwan, the flights to Xian and back meant that in 5 days I was on a total of 8 different flights!
The flight from Taipei to Hong Kong set a pattern which I very quickly learned from and I think I can now class myself as a seasoned traveller. Here, for the first time, I give you Haywood's Law of Turbulence, an essential asset to anyone who wishes to survive in-flight beverage imbibing.
Haywood's Law
"The severity of the turbulence is directly proportional to the fullness of the cup multiplied by the heat of the liquid there-in divided by the time since the cup was handed to you"
This can expressed thus;
( V x C)
------- = T
t
(where T = Turbulence, V = volume of liquid, C = temperature, t = time)
Or, to put it more simply, the hotter and more full the cup is, the more the plane is going to shake you around like a pea in a can ensuring you hard boil your nuts.
I have proof of this theory in all of my last eight flights, every one of which suffered turbulence of varying severity.
The theory first took a hold when on my flight from Taipei to Hong Kong, just as they were serving the drinks, a completely smooth flight became a white knuckle ride of pant wetting (for some) fear when the plane did a shimmy, then a shammy, then a nosedive that was severe enough to lift me off the seat and be held in by my seatbelt only.
But I was lucky, the hostess hadn't yet handed me my cup of tea... not so the poor woman next to me who had foolishly decided to try and drik some of hers just as our flight went into freefall.
She was presented with a cup shaped floating glob of tea that floated infornt of her for a second before splashing down... giving her the most unusual and possibly hottest face wash she had ever had...
Of course, that woman hates me as I started to laugh, but I wasn't laughing at her at all... I was too busy laughing at the hostess stood next to her who had decided it was a better idea to stow the trolley and had started to make a move when the second load of windshear whammed into us.
Amid the fearful screams of passengers who don't know that a 747-400's wingloading is so extreme you can pretty much run a bus up the wing, the hostess was making a valiant effort to scarper up the aisle only to find herself in freefall as the plane dropped like a stone for a second time.
In the midst of all the fear and near panic, I was treated to the unique sight of a slightly built, neatly dressed, demurely made up air hostess treading air about 8 inches off the carpet, stopped from smacling her head on the ceiling by her vice like grip on the heavy drinks trolley... you've not lived until you've seen someones feet going like the clapper in mid air as they try to walk whilst in free-fall...
I wish I could say there was a comedy puff of smoke and terrific acceleration down the aisle as she touched back down, but there wasn't... just a quick jangle and trailing stream of plastic cups marked her return to the carpet... but she and I were the lucky ones.
Looking around, all the passengers were terrified by the events we'd just been through, but most were soaked too, thus proving my theory.
It was interesting to note, as I left the plane I happened to glance down at the seats in-front of me... the middle one had a massive damp stain on it... but they hadn't been served their drinks yet.... perhaps my law needs another element adding into it?
Originally Posted by Dareos
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