How do you manage three kids?

[Domestic_Ginger]

The wife and I have encountered our latest dilemna, we two kids and decided that was it; we may very well have conceived again.

To be honest quite often we have been struggling with two so we are not really looking forward to this. The joy of parenthood though and how amazing our current crop are is on the other hand something to look forward to. We'll have one almost 6yr, one almost 3yr and a new born.

We realised last night financially its going to be an incredible strain. Childcare for the 2yo is costing us almost a grand. You are given a certain number of hours a week at nursery by the government when your child reachs three. Its going to be a real kicking financially . Its almost feasible for one of not to work just so we can look after two children.

How do other people get round this; ideas?

[Moby-Dick]

How about some slightly cheaper childcare ? We do nursery 3 days and a childminder 2 days - The childminder is cheaper and gives her a chance to socialise with a bit more of an age range ( this has its pro's and cons btw ) you do usually get a discount for a 2nd child , which might help a little bit.

If you do decide to be a stay at home mum or dad - do either of you have a career that will manage with a break of a few years ?

[Domestic_Ginger]

I'm not really a workaholic; infact I don't think I really enjoy working. My wife likes her job and she is now earning more than me so it looks like I'm the one who would be taking the career break. I was thinking maybe part time. It seems like it is much harder to milk the system now with cuts in childcare and for families with large children (should read working failies I guess). We're thinking of the childminder route; I'm not sure how much cheaper it would be though.

[Phage]

Congrats ! You will never regret having another child.
I brought up mine in Aus and we were as poor as church mice for many years. Old crappy cars, no computer or internet access, etc etc.

We cut down everything that we could. No special travel, no new clothes and I took additional work/study so that the other half could stay at home whilst I got a better job.
If I may be a little bold, I would suggest that the most important thing is to recognise the strain on your relationship and make allowances/time for each other. We didn't and paid that price. It wasn't the money that was the problem, it was time for each other.

Apologies if that was TMI, but it's my biggest failure.

[Domestic_Ginger]

Someone was quoted as saying "If I had known how they would turn out; I would have called them bastard one and bastard two."

I'm a very selfish man. I appreciate that. I understand what you mean Phage; even now I don't think I am devoting enough of my time to our relationship.

[Phage]

Ah, but if you're aware of it, then you can still be there. In reality you may well be doing enough, but it won't hurt to ask ?

[HalloweenJack]

we have 4 at home! eldest 2 are from my previous , step daughter from the wife`s previous - and 5 years ago a little surprise arrived!


we tried child care as well - before youngest was born , and full time for 3 of them was unbelievable cost - the near entire wages for 2 of us for the summer holidays went on the child care alone.... was shocking.

so since the wife is in accounts , and I have a mountain on patience , I gave up work to stay at home.

I do work part time school hours only - and even then , my CV looks a mess , child gets sick? time to ehad hime and most companies are ` thanks heres your P45)


you`ll likely get tax credits as well as child benefit - and little things like free prescriptions start helping the running costs

[flearider]

mine are in there 20's but up intill they where at school my wife stayed at home and I worked 50+hr weeks .. tired when I got home and so was she .. not much money to go round and well we missed out on a lot .. but now they have ok jobs and it all seems worth it .. there good people ..
and in the end that's all that counts .... but when will they leave home ....lol