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Thread: Korolov's Rules of Simulated Aerial Combat

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    Korolov's Rules of Simulated Aerial Combat

    All so true

    The plane you're turning with will always outturn you.
    The plane you're trying to dive with will always outdive you.
    The plane you're trying to outrun will always outrun you.
    The plane you're trying to outgun will always have more guns than you.
    Your weapons will jam at the most unfortunate moments.
    Your wingman is never around to cover you.
    Your flight leader will always be the first to die.
    You will always die after your flight leader.
    Your aircraft's maximum ceiling is lower than the aircraft you're chasing.
    When there is only one bandit, half your team will die from colliding in attempt to get the kill.
    When there are many bandits, the rest of your team will choose only one target to shoot at.
    Flak will always hit you at the most improbable shots and at the most inconvienient times.
    Your bombs will always miss by a small margin and you'll be shot down before you can try rockets.
    After you score a bunch of kills, you will fail landing approach.
    The enemy aircraft are always higher than you.
    Your teammates are always lower than you.
    You're always the first one to be shot at.
    A enemy aircraft on fire will always draw fire.
    A enemy aircraft untouched will always be ignored.
    Your chances of a kill are proportional to the importance of the target and how much ammo you have.
    The enemy aircraft will take many hits to bring down.
    Your aircraft only needs one hit to bring it down.
    Rookies make better wingmen than Veterans.
    Pilots who say "n00b" often are worthless in a real fight.
    The enemy plane will always have boost and WEP availible at all times.
    Your plane will be overheating and losing oil at all times.
    Your airfield will always be pinned down by vultures.
    Your vultures will always be pinned down by enemy fighters.
    Your flak won't hit the broadside of a barn.
    The game will pause just as you get the perfect shot on that bandit.
    The map will change the moment you almost score your 5th kill for that sortie.
    The enemy fighter behind you always has ammo.
    The enemy fighter in front of you always has more guns.
    The enemy fighter above you has a 30mm cannon.
    The enemy fighter below you has a rear gunner.
    Requests for localized air superiority always fall on deaf ears.
    Air superiority will only last for 5 minutes over the target.
    If you win a fight, your opponent will always give a excuse for being shot down.
    If you lose a fight, your opponent will always rub it in.
    After you've been shot down, your teammates will suddenly arrive and blast your opponent to his/her component atoms.
    While you're escorting bombers, you'll always draw fire.
    While you're flying a bomber, you'll always be the center of attention for the entire enemy team.
    Your escort will never be there when you need them.
    Your gun turrets will never be able to track the bandit, who is right behind you, tearing a hole in your rear end.
    You will be killed the moment you hop into the gunner seat.
    No maneuver in the book will save your hide when someone gets on your six.
    The enemy will always see you from 10 klicks out.
    You never see the enemy till they're 5 meters behind you.
    Your wingman will have warned you 5 minutes before to "check six."
    You will always be loaded with bombs when enemy aircraft presence is high.
    You will never have any bombs when enemy ground targets are numerous.
    The amount of fuel you have is proportional to how much you need it.
    CAS will always be performed by weak, shortrange, lightweight fighter/interceptors.
    CAP will always be performed by strong, longrange, heavyweight fighter/bombers.
    Interception will always be performed by bombers.
    The important objectives are always simple.
    The simple objectives are always hard.
    The easy objectives are always guarded by flying 30mm cannons.
    When in doubt, run.

    http://forums.ubi.com/eve/ubb.x?a=tp...3&m=4751076342
    the Mother of Idiots is always pregnant...

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    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    best of the bunch...?

    "Rookies make better wingmen than Veterans." cos they're so scared and so keen to learn, they stick like glue

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zak33
    best of the bunch...?

    "Rookies make better wingmen than Veterans." cos they're so scared and so keen to learn, they stick like glue

    for me this one

    After a blood and guts mission , comming home with only gas fumes and a hope and prayer, you lucky enough to land in 1 piece. Only just when u want to press escape you find out that you stopped on a respawn point... the LOUD way.

    ...
    the Mother of Idiots is always pregnant...

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    adamspestcontrol.co.uk
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    You will always land the most badly damaged planes when it doesnt matter

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    You will always score most points when flying 1v1 vs Zak.
    You will always feel most guilty when flying 1v1 vs Zak.
    Zak will always fly better after dying several times in 1v1 vs **.
    The best pilot streaks are always ended in the silliest ways.
    AI planes can't hit a thing until they are on your 6.
    There is never enough fuel in the tank when you get a fuel leak.
    There is always too much fuel in the tank when you catch fire.

  6. #6
    TiG
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    Your gun turrets will never be able to track the bandit, who is right behind you, tearing a hole in your rear end.
    You will be killed the moment you hop into the gunner seat.

    Those are sooo true for me too and damn thats annoying

    TiG
    -- Hexus Meets Rock! --

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    HEXUS.timelord. Zak33's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by luke313
    You will always score most points when flying 1v1 vs Zak.
    You will always feel most guilty when flying 1v1 vs Zak.
    Zak will always fly better after dying several times in 1v1 vs **.
    your Junior will always become better than you and then smite you from the face of the planet while giggling like a school girl
    your Junior WILL actually feel bad about it, but disguise it behind a mirthful grin
    your Junior will respect his elders

    and one day come to a LAN so I can murder him

    Quote Originally Posted by Advice Trinity by Knoxville
    "The second you aren't paying attention to the tool you're using, it will take your fingers from you. It does not know sympathy." |
    "If you don't gaffer it, it will gaffer you" | "Belt and braces"

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    For those who cba to read all that, I have summarised them all into one sentance.

    When flying, be pessimistic

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