The Ferrari Formula 1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday.
The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the
British Government's "Work for the Dole" scheme and employ Liverpudlian
chaps.
The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how
unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less
than 6 seconds, without the proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing pit
crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of
high-tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by the Ferrari management,
as most races can be won and lost in the pits. Ferrari would now have an
advantage over every team. However, Ferrari got more than they bargained
for.
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able
to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had
re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the vehicle over to the McLaren team for 8
cases of Stella, a bag of skunk weed and some photos of Coulthard's bird in
the shower.