The Hexus festival survival guide

[autopilot]

Well festival time is almost upon us again, so I thought it would be a good idea to start a festival survival guide where people can share thier tip's for new and experienced festival goes alike.

I've being going to Glastonbury, V and Reading, etc for a few years now, so i thought I would kick things off with a few tips I have picked up (some obvious, some less obvious)...

Stuff to take

Tent - A cheap one - there is a very high probabilty it will get damaged - but make sure it's fire retardant.
Bog Roll - Actually a trading commodity at some festivals. Once I was given a packet of fags for 2 rolls!
Water - As much as you can carry. Plus a good size container for keeping a good supply at base camp.
Wellies - If it only rains for 30 seconds, it will be a mud bath.
Bin Bags - Apart from rubish, they are also handy to wear in the rain, put over dirty toilet seats with a hole in and carry stuff home in.
Sun Cream - Sun burn is not fun in a tent.
Condoms - you never know your luck.
Baby wipes - Awesome for a quick clean up in the moring when the ques to stand in a shower with poo in are half a mile long.
Pain Killers - If you don't need them, you should not be at a festival
Beer - Very expensive there. No glass - I have lost count of the number of times I have seen people at the gate chucking gallons booze away. Not funny.
Spare battery or charger for your phone - You will lose your mates at least a few times.
Torch - To find stuff with!
Money - lots of cool things to buy but everything costs 10 X normal at festivals - including the food and drinks.
Cool box/bag - unless you like cheese in your tea

Cloths and food should be obvious too, just make sure it will last not being in a fridge for 3 days. But remember to freeze everything. Some bottles of water, milk, orange juice, spirits etc before you go. When you get there they will have melted a bit and still nice and cool for a few hours. Works a treat and you will get at least one day & night of cool drinks. Handy on a hot day when you can have a nice cold vodka and everyone else is drinking warm bear Oh, and pack your food around it so that lasts longer too

And last but not least, a bucket. You can carry stuff there in it. You can wash in it. You can clean stuff in it. You be sick in your tent in it. You can even [insert unspeakable act here] if you don't want to leave you tent a 6 in the morning. Everyone needs a bucket!

Pitching your tent

Get there as early as you can and find a good spot for your tent. DO NOT put your tent near the fence, a tree or the bogs. You will get ****ed on or find a yellow river going past or in your tent. Being near the toilets is a BAD idea full stop because of the noise all night too. Even if you are lucky enough to have room, don't put you guide ropes out unless you have too. People just fall over and land on you tent. Please, please, please don't light a fire. I just want to hit people who light fires at festivals. I witnessed someone die at glasonbury 6 years ago in a uber cheap tent that was almost 20 feet away from the fire. Tents don't like sparks!

Sounds like a lot, but it can make all the difference to how you enjoy your festival. Really is worth the effort. If you can, take an old wheel barrow to move it around in. Loads of people seem to do this these days and some clever people hire them out and sell fold up ones there.

Ok, so what else would be cool?

[autopilot]

Will a mod please sort the title spelling out and delete this post, ta!

[Atomic]

If you going to Reading festival, the leisure centre does a good swim and cooked breakfast.

Sure beats the festival showers! ...and you get to see hot rock chicks in swimsuits

[Dooms]

Good List there... alot of things i dont bother with but a few things ill add!

Sleeping Bag - Yes i know its common sense if your camping! Only thing I can suggest is dont take an expensive one (same as everything you take to a festival) since it can easily end up not coming back with you.

Cooking Stuff - Not something i take myself since i dont eat at the campsite most of the time and when i do there's normaly aload about camp.

Knife & Fork - Can be usful if you manage to cook something, easily cleaned with baby wipes before use

Pillow & floormat - Now i go to take these every year but as i go to leave the house i can never be bothered to carry them and so replace their space with more beer!

Inflatable Boat - Got this at reading 03 for £1! and its now my festival boat... IMG - Great for sitting in at the camp site and if you fill it with water its good for waterfights and keeping beer cold!

SHORTS! - I know this falls under clothes but they are so good at festivals. If its hot then you will want them but if its pissing down your better off wearing them becuase you dont gather anywhere asmuch mudd! Last year at reading it was such **** weather and I ended up cutting the bottom off my tousers becuase of the amount of **** on them!

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For V i take more food & booze and less clothes becuase its in the middle of nowhere so getting to a shop is a bastard but we are only there for 4days (friday, sat, sun, mon) however i do have to take more money since i spend most of my time in the bicardi bar!

Reading on the other hand is in Reading town so wondering into the town every morning is simple and you can have something to eat and use a proper toilet! aswell as going to sainburys and picking up a couple more crates & a couples bottles of cheap spirits! Have to take some more clothes and still alot of money due to being there 6 days (wed, thurs, fri, sat, sun, mon)

[Dooms]

If you going to Reading festival, the leisure centre does a good swim and cooked breakfast.

Sure beats the festival showers! ...and you get to see hot rock chicks in swimsuits

Last couple of years its been closed tho, however the rock night they do on the thursday night is something to do

[Atomic]

Wasnt closed last year

[Dooms]

Oh ok, i must of just thought it was closed because it was 03 and 04

[Atomic]

last year was '04

[Andy]

Who is going to Glasto this year? Ill be there!

[Theo]

If you're going to Reading, DON'T buy any ratburgers/beans or whatever the awful burger stands sell.

1) Far too overpriced.
2) Faeces tastes better... trust me, I know.
3) Faeces probably has more nutritional content.
4) Go to the Salvation Army stand.

On your way into the camp area, there's a rather large row of shops on your left and tents on your right. Salvation Army is about halfway down. They sell soup, tea, coffee and breadrolls at bargain prices. You can basically live on about £4 of food a day.

In 2002, when the missus and I took far too little money, the Salvation Army was a godsend. I think breadrolls were 10p each and a cup of soup was 65p. This may have increased a little by now, but it hadn't by 2003 (where we were in the same situation). However, I'd recommend at least getting a good breakfast. Just something substantial to fill you up until lunch time, where you can refill yourself with soup and rolls.

[Nick F]

Take loads of bottles of cheap cider like Diamond White, its really cheap and will get you hammered. Much better than paying £4 for a watered down pint

[Knoxville]

Take plenty of cigarettes, they were like £6 a pack at download last year and when your smoking 60 a day thats some expensive jive.

Something to put down on the floor outside your tent to sit on if the weathers decent, bin bags, safety pins and duct tape are also essentials tbh as they allow you to fix pretty much anything.

[Theo]

Pretty much £6 a pack anyway nowadays :/

I'd recommend taking a few small bags of rolling tobacco if you're going to be smoking stupid amounts over the weekend (60!!). You'll save a whale's worth of pennies, and if you happen to lose a bag, £2 odd isn't that much of a loss.

Back to duct tape. You'll need FULL roll. Especially if you fancy tying people up/gagging them.

PS Knoxville: The AMEN board came back up after about a month of it being down. Think Casey had it removed due to what the ex band members were saying. A bunch of us are going to download, so if you see any familiar faces feel free to pop round to say "How diddley doodley neighbour".

[Knoxville]

I smoke more when I drink and at festivals beer is all I take to drink so I'm drinking 12-14 hours a day, I smoke 20 a day normally , my lungs did not like me the week after download last year :-/

Just gotta remember my password for the board now , Will keep an eye open for you guys though feel free to drop in for a Beer if you see me (I'd imagine i'm slightly easier to spot from a distance than most of the chaps over on the AMEN board)

As for the duct tape pound land is your friend for that, I got three rolls for a quid along with twelve disposable lighters (anything thats not zippo shaped gets lost randomly)

[Dooms]

As said above at Reading the salvation army tent is the greatest thing on earth! Never closes and soup & 2 rolls for 80p!!! and bottles of water for 50p (which will cost you £2 in the arena!)

Also anothing thing to take with you is Fire / Police tape - Mark off your campsite! Claim what you can!!

[Stewart]

Also people, don't forget to take a motorised pair of chopsticks, 13 egg cups (5 standard, 8 novelty), and an edible bible.